Monday, April 30, 2012

When You Just Need ONE Thing....

"Oh, Lord, please don't let me bleed again this month..."

My heart held up this plaintive cry heard only in the recesses of my soul.

After four years of no birth control, some doctor's visits, possible prognoses, and A LOT of waiting in between, this monthly emotional cycle is no stranger to me.

But somehow, this month the pang and squeeze of my heart feels a little deeper, a little tighter than it has in a long while, and I find myself consciously remembering to take deep breaths lest the sorrow overtake me.

Four years of waiting to be pregnant, three years of unknown chronic illness, 2 years ago since I almost lost my parents in the Haitian earthquake, a year and a half since we stepped down after 10 years of full time ministry, 6 months since we decided to pursue foster care, 5 months after we put in an offer on a house....and in every circumstance...silence, SLAMMED closed doors, windows sealed shut, and when I look at the ugly realities, I can truly often wonder, "Where is God?"

To read the rest of my post 
AND to hear about a new phase 
that is opening up for us 
where I DESPERATELY need your prayers, 

Must Love God


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