Five Minute Friday :: Stay

Will you sit with me here for awhile, My child?
Stay here beside Me.
Crawl up into my lap.
Quiet your heart.
Rest in the questions.
Embrace the unknown.

For you are safe.
Safe in My arms.
Safe in My heartbeat.
Safe in the shelter of the wings of My almighty arms.

Come to Me.
Stay for awhile.
Quiet your heart and soul
To the rhythms of Me
and my plans for you.

Rest in the knowledge
That I have you
I want you
I know you
I long for you.

You.
Are.
Safe.

You.
Are.
Wanted.

You.
Are.
Whole.




Will you stay?

Will you allow Me to share with you
the unspeakable things that the universe cannot contain,
the secrets of a world beyond this one,
the understandings of the place where deep calls out to fathomless deep?

If only you will stay for awhile,
close,
safe,
sheltered,
warm,

Trusting in My promise

To never leave
To never forsake
To never abandon.

Always to stay.

Welcome to my (in) This Season pals and ANY fellow bloggers really...would you share YOUR 5 minutes with me or maybe just a recent post that really speaks to your heart or a lesson that Jesus has been teaching you? I would love to read along...

The God Who Sees {Guest Post :: Katy}

Meet sweet Katy. Yes. I MUST say "sweet" as I introduce her because that is how I think of her whenever I read her words. Her heart pops off of the screen EVERY. TIME. She is a masters-learnin', Africa-yearnin', words-lovin', soul-searchin', raw, honest soul. She blogs at her own personal space, B'ahava, which means "with love." When you visit her blog, I know that you will be as captivated with her tender transparency as I am. So without further ado....here's Katy.

The God Who Sees

He will make her deserts like Eden...

joy and gladness will be found in her.

Isaiah 51:3

I stare at this verse and wonder what wondrous work God will do to turn my desert and wilderness places into places like Eden. Eden conjures up images of a beautiful, perfect, and lovely place. A place where there are no tears, no mourning, no hurt, no fear, and certainly no heartache. Eden--where I can walk hand in hand with my Savior who loves me, likes me, and delights in me. My Beloved who has eyes only for me. Jealousy banished. Envy out the door. Anger not in sight.

Just love.

Love pouring out the windows and through the doors into my soul. Love that captures me and screams My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me," and my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming!" (Ps. 27:8). I am coming. I am coming to make an Ebenezer. I am coming to declare the Lord is GOOD. I am coming to find my refuge and hiding place. I am coming to carve out a place called Eden where I can rest. I am like Hagar desperate in the desert waiting to call her Lord El Roi—the God who sees me.

In the midst, I wait. Oftentimes, impatiently. I wonder why my cacti bristle instead of turn into works of art. I scratch my head wondering why my heart tugs with questions about the discrepancies between what I’ve asked for and what I’ve been given. I’m the little girl who asked for a pony and received a stuffed animal and who is trying to be thankful, but is looking a little skeptical and disappointed. All the while, watching everyone else seemingly get ponies and the things they’re praying for slipped into their hearts and hands.

Yet, the God who sees me is relentless. He whispers to my heart, “Do you really only love me for what I can give you? Will you really only love and praise me when I give you those tucked away prayers you don’t even know if you should still be praying? Do you not trust that I have this, even this under control?”

I whisper back, “I’m sorry, Lord. I’m hurt and I’m learning to be honest while still holding fast to Your truth. I’m here. I love you. Help me trust, believe, and celebrate that your plan will be and already is truly beyond all that I can imagine and that it is for good.”

He whispers love to me in the doubt and the questions. He lets me wrestle with Him as tears pour down my face. He hears my pleading cries and loves me the same. Nothing I can do can separate me from His love. No fit of rage. No streak of jealousy. No rash words. No accusing voice. Ever patient. Ever kind.

I continue this dance of raw honesty mixed with gentle nudges to renew my mind with the truth that sets my heart free to experience peace.

He sees me. Even when I can’t tell yet.

This month I have asked some of my fellow bloggers to join me here at The Little Missionary Girl All Grown Up to share how they have seen the Relentless Love of the Father in their lives in moments of brokenness, heartache, and valley-of-shadow moments. This post is the 2nd in the series of that exploration into the passion of the Father for us across the miles, across the generations, across the hearts that are His.

To read more posts in this series, click here.

{RE}discovering Him :: Day 31 - The Pursuit

31 days ago, I embarked on a journey of {RE}discovery.

Longing to find the Father's heart, to understand my Savior's love, and to experience afresh the Spirit's peace, I forged on a path which made me tremble and quake with the potential locked inside of this October month.

I started off pretty scared as to what this journey had to offer, but was quickly reminded that He is truly precious to me.

Within the first few days, I felt discouraged that this journey was futile or uninspired, but eventually remembered that He puts the lonely in families and in friendships.

He taught me to {RE}discover Him in the ordinary and how to let go of my own way/self/desires to open the door for others to come to Him.

And then Day 12, my life completely transformed when I {RE}discovered the source of my tears, the heart of my brokenness, the purpose in this LONG season of pain, and then continued to find that THROUGH this brokenness, I was being made whole.

Source

I learned that I am stronger then I thought I was because through my weakness, He shines through with amazing strength.

He opened doors for me to use my own road of brokenness to encourage others in their hard times. He teaches me to see beyond my own limitations, to look through His eyes -- eyes of faith.

Source

I am learning to dance in the rain -- the circumstances, the trials, the heart aches.

And then God gave me a beautiful gift that I had been longing for for 6 months and taught me how to talk to Him in new ways through the beauty of grace.

He pushed me into the direction of my dreams and His purpose and finding a way to let my skills and passion intersect. And then as I begin to step out into that "sweet spot", disappointments & fears arise, but my life is His, and He is never disappointed in me.

Who knew that in 31 days, I could really {RE}discover so much, and that my life, my heart, my dreams, my vision could be so effectively transformed more into His image, more into His heartbeat??

I am in awe of how when we are ready to meet Him, He is always there willing to capture our hearts once again....waiting with open arms.

“And after years of hearing the heart-cry of women, I am convinced beyond a doubt of this: God wants to be loved. He wants to be a priority to someone. How could we have missed this? From cover to cover, from beginning to end, the cry of God's heart is, "Why won't you choose Me?" It is amazing to me how humble, how vulnerable God is on this point. "You will . . . find me," says the Lord, "when you seek me with all your heart" (Jer. 29:13). In other words, "Look for me, pursue me -- I want you to pursue me." Amazing.

As Tozer says, "God waits to be wanted.”

― John Eldredge, Wild at Heart:

Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul

Previous - Day 30 :: The Disappointing

Want to start at the beginning??

Click here to read the entire 31 day journey

Happy New Year!

I have been thinking this past week about what I would like to share, to encourage, to evaluate, to analyze on my New Years' post. What profound thoughts or deep ponderings could I share with the world wide web? And, I felt like I came flat.

How could I encapsulate the ups and downs, the joys and tears, the laughters and sorrows that this past year had held for me?

How could I express in a different way the desperation of January 12, 2010, when an earthquake rocked the nation of Haiti and communication was cut off for agonizing hours?

How could I put into words the immense joy when I saw my mom's chat box on Facebook light up with a message after 18 hours of waiting?

How could I explain the frustration of the physical struggles that my body has been experiencing that seem unending and hold no clear answers?

How could I relate the inner paradox of leaving Africa and embarking into a season of the unknown, leaving so many loved ones behind?

How could I express how amazing it felt to hold my sister, my mom, my dad in my arms after 10 long months of separation after the earthquake?

How could I articulate the very real heartache of going through yet another year of empty arms for those Mommy desires deep in my soul?

So I began reading....other blogs...other posts....other women....other men.....their journeys....their discoveries....their challenges.....their advice....

And I thought, "Why not share that??" These amazing people whose beautiful words are like arms lifting up my inner being -- would YOU, my friends, find encouragement in some or all of their words too?

So that is what I will share with you today, and in their words, I find pieces and soundbites and snippets of life and heartache and joy that I too have experienced OR encouragement and tenacity and perseverance to move forward into the unknown future.

May their words hold your hand and your heart as they have done to mine!

Check out this New Year's retrospection by Gitzen Girl, Sara Frankl, who struggles with a debilitating disease yet is learning to live a life on purpose.

"Imagine if we all went about our lives remembering the core of who we are… a Spirit born in the image of Christ… who is sent here to fulfill a purpose before going back home."

Oswald Chambers writes here, "Leave the broken, irreversible past in His hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him," as we look forward to and embrace this new year the Lord has planned for us.

Want to set goals and plans for the upcoming year ahead? Tsh Oxenreider shares twenty questions to ask yourself to evaluate last year for the purpose of helping you walk IN PURPOSE for the future that God has set out for you as you look into next year and maybe even set some goals (please don't feel overwhelmed or pressured by this or the list...haven't done it yet myself, but my "goal" is to at least try...hahahaha)

And with that being said and/or done, Jo Myles reminds us to put "our plans" back into the hands of the Father, trusting that He has the best for us.....

We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." -C.S. Lewis

And finally, at Heart to Heart with Holley, she blesses us with a prayer filled with the Word that we can make our own to pray for this upcoming year filled with promise and trust in Him "who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly...."

I am LEARNING!

Wow! So I have REALLY neglected my poor little blog over these past few weeks, but with great reason...so I hope you will indulge me in a little life review.

In the last 6 weeks we have packed up our belongings and moved out of our South African home, travelled to Cape Town for a beautiful week with Arno's parents, flew the LONG 18+ hours to arrive in Maryland, spent a week visiting with friends and family, flew, AGAIN, this time, to Haiti to arrive in the loving arms of Mom & Dad, rested & visited & worked for two weeks while there, and have FINALLY now just arrived back from my birthplace two days ago.

We were literally on the soil of three DIVERSE countries in 10 days and while I LOVE travel, I am glad to stay put for a time to hear from the Lord about this next journey & season.

I have so many thoughts and learning experiences that I would like to share, but as I am still LEARNING and EXPERIENCING in many ways, please bear with me as I sort through my thoughts to share this aspect of my journey. It is exciting and SUPER scary, but I know the Lord's hand continues to be heavily upon us!

Thanks to so many of you for your words of encouragement, your prayers, and your love. While invaluable in any season of life, it is a lifeline to me during this time!

Just a little teaser for upcoming posts.....

The 5 senses delight in Capetown

I am 3 people.

Cleaning off the ashes

Rediscovering my identity

...just to name a few!

WATCH THIS SPACE!!

What is Your Obsession? - Part 1

Just like most little girls (from my generation) I loved Barbies, playing dress up, putting on makeup, twirling in my new Easter dress (with matching gloves & socks, no less, thanks to Mom Moms and Aunts), watching love stories (LOVED Gone With The Wind from the time I was 8), giggling with my girlfriends over silly secrets, crazy crushes, and daring dreams. I LOVED pretending to be the princess in the fairytale (sister, Kasi - Cinderella; cousin, Wendy - Snow White; Me - Sleeping Beauty).

However, for me, even greater than the love for all things "girly" was the love of books -- to travel to new worlds, to achieve successes I could only dream of, to become the hero or heroine, to save the world, to be crushed by the tragedies as if it were myself and to soar to the highest heights with each victory.

When I started school, I just loved, loved learning -- I KNOW -- I was a nerd!! What am I talking about -- I still am!! Ha!! But I can't help! I have always loved knowing things, just ask my PATIENT mother. I think my first 3 words were, "Mama," "Dada," and "WHY?"

In knowing & learning things, I loved to compete. My family encouraged healthy competition in games and fun things at home -- not crushing the opponent but teaching us by giving us the opportunity to grow through defeat as well as victory.

In elementary school, it wasn't enough for me to just get an A; I wanted to get the HIGHEST grade in the class. In high school, I relaxed "somewhat." There were others in the class with a consistently higher GPA than me so I carved out a NEW identity for myself. I became a peer tutor, I took on a part-time job with my school, and I wrote an article or two for the local paper.

Once I got to O.R.U., there were so many people with SO many gifts and talents that at first it was quite daunting. However, the Lord began changing my heart and I began to go full force into all kinds of extra-curriculars--tried out for being a wing chaplain & eventually became one after first being denied; tried out for the ORU worship team, but didn't make that; got asked to try out for Head Chaplain but only got accepted after applying the second year; tried out for a school play and made it; took all the classes that I wanted to take except one; worked a variety of part-time jobs for experience; travelled to a different place almost every Fall & Spring Break; and made friends from not only all over America, but also all over the world.

I enjoyed the journey and grew up in the process. In my classes, my professors collectively named me "The Sponge" because I truly loved to learn and I approached every situation and activity with that same passion and desire.

When I finished at ORU, I began contemplating my next step: job, ministry, Master's degree, etc, and I came to a crossroads & face-to-face with myself. I really LOVE learning so getting a Master's degree was the logical next step especially since my BA was in Psychology. However as I began to seek the Lord about it, the Holy Spirit was so clear to me:

Don't set up a kingdom for yourself, Lindsey.

Now, I am not saying that higher education is wrong -- not at all -- and one day, I may still get my Master's and even my Doctorate. But this was the thing for me, you see since I was a little girl, I didn't care about being the prettiest, but I really wanted to be the smartest, the most successful, or the one who had acheived this HIGH accolade. And although, at this point in my life, I didn't care about being the best anymore, I still wanted to make a SIGNIFICANT mark on the world. I wanted to BE something!! However, I realized the GREAT, BIG, HARD TRUTH in the Lord's words to me so I received His words and guidance for my life, trusting that AS ALWAYS, He has the BEST plan worked out.

I have never regretted my decision and I have seen God's hand in my life over these past 10 years. The world that He has created FOR ME has been beautiful...

Come back tomorrow where I will share more on "My Obsession."

30 Days of Hope: Day 18 - Discipline of Meditation

I am a relationship girl. I like communication -- the give and the take. I like connecting with people. I like laughing with my family. I like hanging with old friends. I like making new friends. I love being married. I love discipling people. I like discovering things I have in common with people. I love learning about the differences in others. I like having parents I can look up to and rely on. I like loving and being loved.....I love the journey that knowing people unfolds.

In my last post, I talked about how knowing WHO God is, is the place where hope truly springs from, not in the changing of circumstances alone. So since I find such value in relationships, I realized the my relationship with the Father needs to grow in such a way so that I can understand WHO He is more and more each day. The more that I understand Him, the greater my capacity to hope, to dream, to believe in what HE has in store for me.

In my research and study lately, I have been drawn towards meditation as a form of drawing closer to the Lord so I have began to re-read Celebration of Discipline (at the least the portions on meditation). As Christians,
we sometimes shy away from meditation because we think of the Eastern philosophies where you need to empty your mind and/or find peace within yourself. This is what author Richard J. Foster says about Biblical meditation:

"Christian meditation, very simply, is the ability to hear God's voice and obey His word. It is that simple. I wish I could make it more complicated for those who like things difficult. It involved no hidden mysteries, no secret mantras, no mental gymnastics, no esoteric(confidential) flights into the cosmic consciousness. The truth of the matter is that the great God of the universe, the creator of all things desires our fellowship."

So hope is taking me on a journey to re-discover the Father through meditation. David spent MUCH time meditating on the precepts and principles of the Word. His psalms and songs came from that place of meditation and discovery of WHO he belonged to:

Psalm 119:27 - Help me understand the meaning of your commandments,and I will meditate on your wonderful deeds.

Psalm 119:48 - I honor and love your commands.I meditate on your decrees.

Psalm 119:52 - I meditate on your age-old regulations;O Lord, they comfort me.

Psalm 119:117 - Sustain me, and I will be rescued;then I will meditate continually on your decrees.

Psalm 145:5 - I will meditate on your majestic, glorious splendor and your wonderful miracles.

Have any of you utilized the discipline of meditation in your personal walk? What did you learn about the nature of God during meditation? How has meditation on His Word and who He is changed your relationship with Him?