Friday, February 11, 2011

Five Minute Friday: Imperfect yet Redeemed

To take 5 minutes{and then some--maybe?}...to write about "my week"......to share "my story".....to open a window into my soul....in just five minutes.

This is my mission.

GO.

I am scared.

Scared to share this week, this crack in my armor, this season of my story.

Oh, yes! I write here, but I filter that story. I write when I HAVE learned the lessons {mostly}. Yet, to share when I have nothing revolutionary to share, to open up when my words are not beautiful and precious and thought-provoking and life-changing......

This scares me.

"I am cerebral," I say to the man who holds my heart these 5 years now.

He chuckles at me, not to mock or to malign my heart, but because he knows that I MEAN every word and my word choices ALWAYS amuse him. And yet, he knows....he gets me. He SEES me and I feel safe.

Yet, if I let others {you} in, what will the reaction be? Will there be the side-long glances full of "I-know-better-than-you-but-I-won't-tell-you-because-you-wouldn't-listen-anyway? Or will there be grace?

STOP.

AND THEN SOME.....


That smooth-flowing, heart-healing, soul-renewing grace that says, "I know you are hurting. I can see your pain. I may not understand it all, but I will love you in spite of my understanding. I will look inside of you and remind you of who you are even when you forget. I will reach into your heart and life even when you seem to close the door. I will not be afraid because I know the ONE who loves you best and I will remind you of that. I will just BE there to hold your hand or to hug your neck or to pray His words over you."

So I am scared. And yet, today, I still write. Heart-pounding. Chest-thumping. Anxiety-driven.

Am I safe? Are these words that say nothing and EVERYTHING, are they safe in your hands, your screens, your hearts, your thoughts?

Can I be imperfect and flawed....and this is really.......OKAY?
{sigh}

{breathe}

I pause in this story. I re-read my words. I wonder at their impact. I grieve in this veiled honesty.

And then I am reminded by the ONE who truly loves me best and longest and eternally.....

YOU ARE REDEEMED!!

Rest.

(I want to edit this so desperately....to explain....to qualify....to quantify.....but I will not! I am giving this to faithful hands to sift the chaff and keep the grain....)

{What is your story this week? What are some fears
-- transparent or veiled --
that have overwhelmed you this week?}


In His Grip,



Linking up with:


Weekend Bloggy Reading

15 comments:

Imperfectpeople.net said... Best Blogger Tips

Would you be interested in sharing your testimony on my blog www.imperfectpeople.net?

Hyacynth said... Best Blogger Tips

First time visiting. I love the way your words flow even when you don't feel like they are beautiful and perfectly formed. Glad to have found your space here.

Mr. Roberts' Neighborhood said... Best Blogger Tips

Yes, little cousin, you are unimaginably, irretrievably, and unspeakably safe to express your imperfections and flaws. You are safe because those of us who read your words suffer the same malady; an imperfect heart captured and forgiven by a perfect Savior.

Lindsey V said... Best Blogger Tips

@Hyacynth
Oh, thank you, Hyacynth! I truly appreciate and receive the encouragement.


@Mr. Roberts' Neighborhood
Thank you, Keith! I appreciate the affirmation. Sometimes you wonder, even though you know, "Am I alone in this place of imperfection and pain?" I appreciate you stopping by!

Renee Ann said... Best Blogger Tips

Love your blog! I'm following and will be back to read more posts. Thanks for visiting me at Doorkeeper. Blessings!

Lindsey V said... Best Blogger Tips

@Renee Ann
Thanks, Renee! I look forward to doing the same with your blog! I, too, am following you! Thanks for the return!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said... Best Blogger Tips

I just love the honesty with which you write. :) This week, I've wrestled with trusting God instead of myself. :s

Our Homeschool Reviews said... Best Blogger Tips

Thanks for visiting my blog! I'm glad my couponing tips helped!! Love your blog...can't wait to read more!

Lynda said... Best Blogger Tips

What an amazing post. I have definitely been feeling the same this weekend. It is a very vulnerable feeling to open up like this. I am following, and thank you for linking up to NOBH. Have a blessed week.

Lindsey V said... Best Blogger Tips

@Amanda @ Serenity Now Thank you so much for the sincere compliment. It is SO easy to trust in ourselves instead of Him. I am so thankful for HIS grace when I falter.

@Our Homeschool Reviews Thank you so much! It was great to have you stop by!

@Lynda
Thanks so much, Lynda, for your encouraging words! I have been enjoying the connections through NOBH. Thanks for starting that with the other ladies!

Tracy said... Best Blogger Tips

I can relate to this post of yours whether we are struggling with the same things or not....thanks for sharing from your heart in blogland and thanks for linking this up to NOBH! It's been great "meeting" you through NOBH. Have a blessed day!

Lindsey V said... Best Blogger Tips

@Tracy
I really appreciate it! It is great to be connected!

Lindsey V said... Best Blogger Tips

@Tracy
I really appreciate it! It is great to be connected!

Our Homeschool Reviews said... Best Blogger Tips

Thanks for visiting my blog! I'm glad my couponing tips helped!! Love your blog...can't wait to read more!

Hyacynth said... Best Blogger Tips

First time visiting. I love the way your words flow even when you don't feel like they are beautiful and perfectly formed. Glad to have found your space here.

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