When You Just Cannot Make Sense of it All

Maybe you just lost someone.
Someone you loved with all of your heart.
Someone who meant the world.
Someone whose presence the world is now oh-so-empty without.

Maybe the dream that you have longed for
The one you imagined as a little girl
The one that would make life just perfect
Has all but broken your blooded hands
As the doors have slammed over and over again.

Maybe you just feel desperate
The walls are closing in
The bills are piling up
Your health and mind are not what they should be, what they used to be
You wonder if healing and breakthrough will ever come

The kids have destroyed the house, the car, the yard, the neighborhood.
The man you loved, and to whom you gave half your life, walked out the door
The woman who pledged I'll-keep-your-secrets-and-you-keep-mine friendship just broke your heart
The believers, the brothers and sisters of His body, turned their back on you in your hour of need.

When life is just so hard
And you wonder how to make sense of it all.

Cry.
Cry hard and deep and long and good.

Run.
Run fast and strong.
Beat your chest.
Raise your fist to the sky.
Shout up at the heavens
and scream, "Why?"
Fall into a puddle.
and cry some more.

Sit with your grief
Your questions
Your anger
Your heartbreak
Feel them deep
Deep into your soul
In the place where deep cries out to fathomless deep

Embrace your sorrow
Your should-have-beens
Your wish-it-could-haves
Your want-it-back-that-way

And cry.
Cry some more.

Let yourself mourn.
Give space to be broken
Let go of perfect
Release the noisy pressure of "Its-time-to-let-go!!" pounding in your head
Breathe deep again.

Grieve hard and strong and long, if needed.
Throw out the timelines.
Forget the try-hards.
Abandon should-bes.

Let yourself be human
Real.
Raw.
Afraid.
Honest.
Broken.

Scream into the pillow
Or punch it.
Let the rage run its course.

Walk out into the crisp cold night.
Let the tears come
Draw ragged breaths over and over again
Let your soul mourn.

Cry again.
A lot.
Until you think there are no tears left to cry
And then ...
Cry some more.

And day-by-day
As you let the anger and hurt and disappointment and frustration out,

Breathe in grace and truth and love and mercy

Let it wash over you

Let the contours of your soul find rest

A 

little

more

each 

day.

Exhale hurt.

Inhale grace.

Exhale heartache.

Inhale joy.

Exhale injustice.

Inhale mercy.

Exhale brokenness.

Inhale healing.

And one day...

you will begin to see

that the grace....

....outweighs the sorrow.

May it be well with your soul

As you plumb the gaping depths of your brokenness.

May the warrior be the child

As you crawl into the arms of the Father.

May your scars remind you that you are real

As you see the miraculous signs of healing.

May you be patient with your heart in the process.

May you find refuge in the shelter of His wings.

May you know how desperately you are loved.

May you feel Him wipe every tear from your eye.

Also linking with Jennifer, Mary Beth, Ann, and Duane 
and the encouraging communities they have created here on the web.
So thankful for places like these to share our words...

Five Minute Friday :: Stay

Will you sit with me here for awhile, My child?
Stay here beside Me.
Crawl up into my lap.
Quiet your heart.
Rest in the questions.
Embrace the unknown.

For you are safe.
Safe in My arms.
Safe in My heartbeat.
Safe in the shelter of the wings of My almighty arms.

Come to Me.
Stay for awhile.
Quiet your heart and soul
To the rhythms of Me
and my plans for you.

Rest in the knowledge
That I have you
I want you
I know you
I long for you.

You.
Are.
Safe.

You.
Are.
Wanted.

You.
Are.
Whole.




Will you stay?

Will you allow Me to share with you
the unspeakable things that the universe cannot contain,
the secrets of a world beyond this one,
the understandings of the place where deep calls out to fathomless deep?

If only you will stay for awhile,
close,
safe,
sheltered,
warm,

Trusting in My promise

To never leave
To never forsake
To never abandon.

Always to stay.

Welcome to my (in) This Season pals and ANY fellow bloggers really...would you share YOUR 5 minutes with me or maybe just a recent post that really speaks to your heart or a lesson that Jesus has been teaching you? I would love to read along...

When You Realize Your Dad Understands You

My dad taught me how to drive.
And that was no easy feat let me tell you.

My first time behind the wheel at fifteen years old, we started in a parking lot. With drivers' ed looming, I felt terrified at my lack of ANY skills behind the wheel, so my dad decided to ease me in. His dad tagged along too, so it was a multi-generational driving lesson.

Did I mention I was terrified?
Yeah.

Well, the way it played out, my fear became QUITE obvious as I would stop IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD for cars coming the OPPOSITE direction, but my dad was SO patient with me and somehow we made it through the day.



Dad understood that I needed time to find my place of calm.

A few months later, my friends and I, working together doing a church internship, took our break times to study for our permit exam. I was nervous, of course, so my friend, David, and I were just helping the other two study, but my dad was our driver to the test, so in his laid-back, no pressure, you-can-try-ONLY-if-YOU-want-to way, I decided to take it. All FOUR of us walked out that day with shiny badges of newbie drivers. As much fun as it was to achieve this milestone with my good friends, I love the fact that my dad was the one who orchestrated the day for us all.

Dad understood that just "being there" made all the difference in the world.

So then one day I had my full-fleged license.
Oh joy of all joys!
Independence and Freedom!

Except for the whole one year of that Cinderella, mandated-by-law, be-in-by-midnight thing-y...but that is plenty of time for a sixteen year old, right?

Right?

Well....it should have been...but then I got a boyfriend and liked to hang out at his house until the LAST POSSIBLE SECOND....and one night I creeped into the house about 5 minutes after midnight.

And there was my Dad.
Waiting. On the couch.
Grilling me with questions.

Where were you? 

Why are you late? 

Don't you know that you could have gotten in a lot of trouble? 

And then a lecture.

I listened with angst and frustration and then quickly excused myself to my room as tears began to pour down my face, while I ranted to the stuffed animals, "I'm a good kid. I don't drink or smoke or run around with lots of boys. I can't believe I am getting in trouble for being 5 MINUTES LATE!!"

With anger and indignation, I stomped around my room putting clothes away with a viscous passion, until suddenly I heard my dad's baritone voice from my bedroom doorway, "Lindsey?"

"Come in," I said, with my back to the doorway, unwilling to look at him face to face.

"Come here," he said. And with great effort, I forced myself to turn around and walk over to where he stood.

"I'm sorry for getting so upset with you about being late." Now my tears were truly rolling.

"I just do not want you to get in any trouble. If a cop stopped you after midnight, you could have your license taken and I just do not want you to take any chances. I don't want you to have to go through that. I do trust you, and you are a good kid."

I cried. We hugged.
It was one of those Hallmark moments.
But....FOR REALS.

Dad understood that I needed the affirmation AS WELL as the correction.

It's kinda funny because my dad is a man of few words and especially as a teenager, I often felt like he never quite "got" me or at the very least did not know what to do with my sensitive heart.

But one day, in my twenties, I overheard him saying, "Lindsey doesn't care about being right, she just wants to be understood." 

And in that moment, I felt such validation.

From teaching me to drive, helping me {AND my friends} get our licenses, challenging me to be and do my best in every circumstance and a hundred other little things over the years, that my dad saw through this little Anne-of-Green-Gables heart to the woman who wanted to connect with other's hearts.

My dad REALLY understands me.
And THAT too....is no easy feat.

I love you, Dad!
Thank you for well....

.....EVERYTHING!!!!

A daughter may outgrow your lap, 

but she will never outgrow your heart. 

~ Author Unknown

Five {and a 1/2} Minute Friday: Brave

I want to be brave.
Brave enough to swim the English channel
Climb Pike's Peak
And travel around the world on a wing and a prayer.

I want to be brave
Brave enough to say I'm sorry
I forgive you
I love you
I need you



I want to be brave
brave enough to lay down my guard
to open up my soul
to boldly go there

I want to be brave
to be WHO HE created me to be
to write
to sing
to dance
to work
to play
to love

I want to be brave
Brave enough to be still
Brave enough to search deeper
Brave enough to cry without reservation

I want to be brave
Brave enough to demand answers
Brave enough to accept waiting
Brave enough to rest in the tension of the two


I want to fly higher
I want to dream bigger
I want to love better
I want to know the depths of me
and you
and Him

I want to face my own fears
knowing that I cannot change them
tame them
shape them
guide them
into a place where I am comfortable

But I can stand here
shaken to the core
wishing to be anywhere but here
And somehow
because He is with me...

I will be brave.

There is something about these Five Minute Fridays that....{shew}....just blow me away sometimes...plumbing the depths of my heart. I read the prompt but did not have time to write immediately so I let the word....brave...marinate in my soul...and this is me...so much of the REAL, RAW me in a way that I have a hard time doing because the analytical, incessantly-demanding editor in my head often demands his own way.

So I hope you will join me for my favorite writing time of the week and BRAVELY write your own 5 minutes...or at the very least...visit some amazing women over at

Lisa-Jo's...some of them I am even privileged to call "friend."

The Chase {Guest Post :: Holley}

It's the end of February and the Relentless Love series is winding down, and I am happy to share the final guest post writer with you -- my friend, Holley Gerth. I have said it before and I will say it again, Holley, besides my mom of course, is one of those people that I would like to be when I grow up. She is a published author, counselor, life coach, Dayspring card writer, co-founder of {in}courage, Squee! business entrepreneur, dream weaver {and builder}, lover of people far and wide and so much more. Oh and by the way...she's MY age!! I have looked up to her since the first words I read of hers on her website months ago. When we met at Relevant, imagine my delight when she carved out time for us to sit together and connect for a few hours. What a treasure! Holley makes her home in Arkansas with her sweetheart, Mark. Her blog home is Heart to Heart with Holley {I mean doesn't THAT name in and of itself just tell you WHO she is and why I think she is so fabulous?!?!?}

The Chase

I’m born into a home that believes.

I start a relationship with Jesus early.
I’m the good girl in high school.

But somewhere along the line,
I confuse relationship with rules.
I weary of the legalism and when college comes, I rebel.
I’m the prodigal daughter who talks at parties about missing God,
who mistakes affection for love, who tries to fill the hole inside her
with anything but the only thing that can.

I imagine God running from me.
But instead, in that impossible way of His, he pursues me.
He sends people into my life that teach me about grace.
He forgives again and again and…again.
He whispers to me in the middle of the night
and tugs on my heart in the middle of the day.

He is relentless.

But I will not relent.

Until my choices break my heart wide open
and all the hurt pours out.
“Now, I’ve done it," I tell myself.

But God isn’t done with me yet.
It seems He takes all that hurt
and washes my feet with my own tears.

How?
How can God love like this?

I keep trying to earn my way back.
I want to show that I will be a good girl for good now.

But God will have none of it.
Instead he simply wants all of me—just as I am.

And, finally, I begin to believe it.
I slow and let that love-that-never-stops-pursuing catch me.

When I do, I’m surprised at what comes with it too.

JOY

What I thought I had to chase out there in the world
turned out to be what was chasing me all along.

I’m so glad God never gave up.

(And that he never will.)

**photo credit**

This month I have asked some of my fellow bloggers to join me here at The Little Missionary Girl All Grown Up to share how they have seen the Relentless Love of the Father in their lives in moments of brokenness, heartache, and valley-of-shadow moments. This post is the 11th and final in the series of that exploration into the passion of the Father for us across miles, across personalities, across hearts that are His. To read more of the posts, click here and here.

{RE}discovering Him :: Day 27 - The Belonging

My journey is not over.
My heart has not been crushed forever.
This season will not last.
The life song will resound again.

This is MY story.
HE is THE author.

He brings me into high places, greener pastures, rivers of living water.

How do I know this?

Because He was with me in the valley of the shadow. He was there when I was broken, lost, scared, hurting.
HE. WAS. THERE.

I am finding Him in ways that I didn't expect. He is restoring what the Enemy thought to take from me forever.
I belong to Him. He is my lover and I am His.

Yes. Tonight I rest in that awareness. How much I am His.

{RE}discovery :: Oh, how I pray that as you read this, you will know it too...whether in the valley or the high place....He is with you to sustain you, to lift you up, to hold your head up high, to remind you that you are not alone.

You Are His.

Previous - Day 26 :: The Dream

Next - Day 28 :: The Relevant

{RE}discovering Him :: Day 19 - The I AM

"When is this season going to end?"

In nature, about every 3 months or so, the seasons change -- fresh spring, balmy summer, radiant fall, and chilly winter -- unless, of course, you grew up in the Caribbean like I did and it is summer all year long or in the Arctic where...well....you get the idea.

Photo Credit

Seasons are a part of life, and sometimes seasons are never-ending and excruciatingly long and other times, they zip by causing you to lament their passing.

So you can imagine what season I am in, right?

"Daddy, are we there yet?"

For the past 2 years, personal heartache, natural diaster, chronic physical pain, difficult interpersonal issues, cross-Atlantic moving, delayed dreams, and an overall sense of "Who-the-heck-am-I?" have dominated this season, and while some things have moved forward and small changes have happened, I have wondered OFTEN how long this interval of life could possibly last!

And yet....
{There always seems to be an "and yet...." with God, right?}

And yet, in these past two years, I have learned SO much that would most likely have been impossible without this season.

I have been REDEEMED by An Amazing Man.

His Grace is my anthem.

The Love of the King holds me up every day.

How I got this place has many layers and many blog posts to truly tell the full story, but somewhere along the way, I learned this....

My Christian walk is less about proving my love for Jesus as much as it is about acknowledging that....

HE.

Loves.

ME.

Amazing!

I attribute a big part of that to podcast teachings by Joseph Prince that I began to listen to.

One, in fact, really stands out to me,

"You are loved by the Beloved. When you walk into a room, no matter what others think or say, it doesn't matter, because you can say and remind yourself, 'The beloved of Christ has just walked into the door......and that's me!'"

It's funny because when you change your thinking {which I have to CONSTANTLY do, by the way}, it transforms how you see the world. Suddenly what others think or say doesn't REALLY matter because the Creator of the universe who just so happens to know me by name and be acquainted with ALL of my ways....LOVES ME!

So yeah, like I said, I have to remind myself ALL-THE-TIME to walk in this assured confidence, to stop repetitively proving myself, to yield daily my trust in Him and His perfect plan and His unwavering love NO-MATTER-WHAT, even when all I want to say is....

"When is this season going to end?"

***********************

{RE}discovery :: This post is reposted from August 23rd -- almost 2 months ago, and I can already see how God has done an amazing work in my heart, drawing me closer and closer to His heart. What I am {RE}discovering is how His heart is SO for me that he never gives up, never lets go, never gets "put off" by my hesitance or impatience. He loves me. I am His Beloved.

And. SO. ARE. YOU!

Previous :: Day 18 - The Hard

Next :: Day 20 - The Value

{RE}discovering Him :: Day 17 - The Strongest

You Are One of the Strongest Women I Know.

The title of the card my parents gave me for my birthday a few weeks ago proclaimed.

It went on to talk about how strong women know there will be obstacles but they go forward anyway. They make mistakes along the way, admit them, and learn from them.

Strong women get hurt easily but still reach out, risking the pain anyway. They get beat down, feel afraid, and even fail, but that doesn't stop them from getting back up, moving forward, and trying again until they DO succeed.

Strong women face trials, experience tears & even doubts, but they continue to face each day with heads held high.

I was pretty in awe that this is how my parents saw me. I mean, they are the strongest people I know.

And then I was even more amazed when I found out my stoic, logic-minded dad picked out the card. I mean he is my "tough-guy" dad.

And I am one of the strongest women he knows?

Today I RE-realized that His -- my Heavenly Father's -- strength is made perfect in my weakness. I am not strong in myself, and He knows how weak I truly feel, but the weaker I have felt, experienced, become, the stronger HE IS in my life, my soul, my heart, my being.

That makes me strong.

That makes me brave.

That gives me the ability to climb mountains,

even when I have scraped my knees, slipped down, and fallen to the bottom after the last climb.

{RE}discovery :: In life's journey, the trials, the heartaches, our weaknesses, our failures are proving to ourselves and the world that HE is REAL. HE is strong IN ME!

Previous - Day 16 :: The Breathtaking

Next - Day 18 :: The Hard

Walking with His Stride

It was that time again.

Time to pack our bags and travel to "foreign" soil, except it wasn't so foreign to me. My skin might be different from "the locals," like if I stayed in the sun too long, my freckles would throw a party that couldn't help but turn into a rager with a pink glow left as a memorial, but I was still a native.

It was NEVER easy though....

Packing up, choosing what to take and what to leave behind, and most of all saying good bye....

I remember walking through the airport with a huge lump in my throat, trying desperately not to cry, not to upset everyone else. It is funny what you learn as a little girl. I would make it to the airplane, buckle my seat belt, and then the floods would come. And finally after comfort and hugs from my mom, I would settle in, read my newest book, look out the window, and maybe take a nap.

And wait.

Wait.

Wait for my favorite part of the trip....

Making the connection in the "stop over" airport.

For us, that was usually always Miami. So, I would gather up my belongings, strap on my backpack or purse or rolling suitcase, and I was on a mission. A mission to keep up with my dad in the airport.

And my dad was fast.

I think it started when I was about 8 years old.

It was an adventure to see if my little legs could keep up with his long ones.

We would leave Mom and my little sis, Kasi, in the dust, and I would rejoice in my success. Our success.

It's funny how much little girls look up to their daddies. I wanted to be tall and proud and well...let's be real...I was 8....I wanted to be FAST...QUICK...AHEAD of everyone else! It was a game for me, but that game helped me with my homesickness...at least for a little while.

I think I did this so much that as a teenager, I had a friend tell me, "You walk like your dad." And she didn't mean it as an insult or that I walked manly. She said, "You walk with confidence, like you know where you are going."

Yeah. I learned that from my dad.

"Don't let anyone walk all over you."

"You can be anything that you want to be -- don't let ANYONE tell you any different."

"Be aware of your surroundings."

And this one that he didn't so much say in words...but he exuded this in WHO he was...

BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU CAME FROM.

NEVER MAKE APOLOGIES FOR BEING YOURSELF.

It is amazing how when the strides you are following are GOOD....the person you become in the process is one who "knows where she is going."

I mean, yeah, life is still scary and making decisions is STILL never easy for me, but I had a dad who said...you can be WHATEVER you want to be...but BE YOU!

And then as a GOOD DAD, there comes the moment when you have to let go, which was never easy for my dad, and probably STILL isn't, but because He was always working to follow in the strides of HIS Heavenly Father, and teaching me the same....he has...slowly but surely given me room and space to BE the girl, the woman, the individual that he believed in for so many years.

Today, on Father's Day, I am thankful for the strides I had to follow.

The strides of strength, character, confidence, and purpose.

The strides of my dad....



The strides of Our FATHER.

Getting To Know You

I am in awe of people who are able to share random facts about their lives on Twitter and/or Facebook and actually makes them sound interesting.

And when I say "in awe", I am not being ironic or using literary passive-agressive terminology. I, truly, am literally amazed.

I wonder how people can take their day-to-day life information and turn it into a window, a sneak peek, into their personality, their nature, their home, their heart.

It makes me wonder at how people like that are wired because I don't think I process quite the same way.

And I am detailed person.

Trust me.

It just makes me realize afresh how unique and different we all are and how much I have to learn from people.

As a newlywed blogger, I learn from the others out there who are navigating their way through this world, in their way, in their own space.

I think in the end, I am thankful for how these social media outlets, while they cannot in any way replace face-to-face, hold-your-hand, cry-on-my-shoulder connections, offer a window into the minds and the souls of people who we might otherwise never have a chance to know.

I have always believed that every relationship shows us another aspect of who The Father is.

And I am pretty excited for all the many ways that I have to learn about who my Dad is!

We'll Be Okay! {Happy Birthday, Dad}

"Although, for a father there is no difference between a daughter and a son, still there exists something that makes the relation between a father and his daughter very special.

So many men and women have tried to imprison the essence of this relationship in words and the result was some very remarkable father daughter quotes and sayings.

A father knows that his mirror image i.e., son can, somehow, survive in the harsh world that exists on the other side of the doorstep. Father, being a man and once a child, knows through his personal experience, what is waiting for his son. However, he can not fathom and understand, being a man, how his little daughter is going to fare and face the realities of life. This makes him insecure and this feeling overshadows his relationship with the daughter. It makes him protective towards his daughter. For him, she never grows up and is always, the small girl who depended on him to fix a broken hand or a leg of her doll and fought with her brother to sit on his prized lap."

~Buzzle.com

Growing up in Haiti, the political climate there was always somewhat tumultuous. At the age of 8 years old, my understanding of that, albeit limited, was keen. We lived in Port-au-Prince just off of the main drag, close to the heart of the city and near to "the action" that often took place.

One particular day, there were boisterous demonstrations happening on that main road about a quarter mile from our house. Wanting to ensure our safety, my dad walked to the top of the hill to find out the nature of these demonstrations. We lived at the mission compound on the 3rd floor of the 3 story building, which also held a church & a school. The grounds were our personal playground, and we would often spend hours there. In the midst of our play, we became aware of the noisy demonstrations and that my dad was going to check it out, leaving the safety of the secure complex.

We ran to the gate of the property, but the security guard wouldn't let us past the gate because of course we WANTED to follow my dad and be where he was.

My sister was 4 at the time, and she was quite scared.

She kept asking me, "Where is Daddy? Where is he going? Why is he going up there?"

It's funny to me reflecting back on that memory because I can remember feeling NO fear in that moment.

Thus, putting on my big sister hat, I put my arm around her and said, with complete confidence, "Don't worry, Kasi! He'll be okay. He's Daddy!"

I think, like many little girls, I believed that my dad was invincible, like Superman.

As I got older and real life awareness kicked in, I still always knew that when my dad was around, we'd be safe. The reason I think that I knew this so well, is because my dad trusts in HIS Heavenly Dad for his life, my mom's, and for ours as well as the people God has called him to.

My dad knows that we'll be okay because HE {God} is the BIG DADDY!

Happy Birthday, Dad!

I love you,

The Love Bandit - My Favorite Valentine's Day Story

6 years ago, I walked into the office of the church where I was working. It was Valentine's Day, and I was STILL single.

Now, I was never one of those single girls to "sit around and feel sorry for myself."

What was the point?

What would THAT accomplish?

In college, I would get together with a couple of other girls, and we would plan elaborate schemes for our entire dorm floor -- balloons in the hallway, bags of chocolates by each door, and personalized heart-felt notes tucked inside, so that when our dorm mates woke up in the morning, before they walked into a lobby filled with candies & flowers WITHOUT their names on any of the gifts, they would know they were loved.

Those were beautiful memories that I cherish always.....

A few years later, at the age of 25, I found myself single AGAIN on Valentine's Day having experienced a heart-breaking break up 6 months before from an almost-3-year relationship.

There again, I had a decision to make.

Will I wallow?

If anyone had a reason to wallow on THIS Valentine's Day, it was me right? I mean, I thought I was going to marry the guy. I wasn't in it for 3 years for NOTHING!

But again, what would that really accomplish?

Sorry. Angst. Feeling-sorry-for-myself.

NO, THANK YOU!

I called up my girlfriends and cooked up some plans. We decided to book a table at a fancy restaurant, dress up real classy & elegant, and celebrate love in friendship. We did that for a couple of years, and I think we often had MORE fun than lots of couples seated around us!

So 6 years ago, I walked into my office with my girlfriend plans in place, but with a longing that had grown that year. In fact, that morning, I had wrestled with God, "Have you forgotten about ME? Some of my 21-year-old girlfriends are finding the love of their lives, and here I am, serving you, being obedient, and NO PROSPECTS IN SIGHT!!"

And then just the quietest of whispers.

That still small voice.

He's coming soon....

No qualifications. No details. No timeline.

So of course, I say, "What does THAT mean? 1000 years are like a day to you! THAT could mean anything!"

I tried to squash hope, but I could feel it growing in my spirit in spite of my heart & mind's attempt to suffocate it.

Soon....

Soon....

Soon....

So I walked into that office with hope that day.

Hope in what I could not/did not/would not see with my natural eyes.

Hope had FAITH eyes.

My pastor's wife/aunt walked into the office that day and handed me a stuffed raccoon, with a Zorro type mask in the shade of red over his face, called The Love Bandit, and she said to me half-joking, half-serious, "The Love Bandit is coming to get you soon."And much to MY surprise these are the words that popped out of my mouth.

"Yeah, by this time next year, I will be engaged or married!"

What? Did I just say that out loud? Oh, no! I am not one of those CRAZY RADICAL FAITH people! Why did I say that OUT LOUD??

Knowing ME, she looked surprised, but then HER faith kicked into FULL GEAR and she said, "Okay, then. I am going to stand in faith with you."

2 months later, the man who was to be the love of my life flew from Africa to fill the children's pastor position at our church.

A little over a month after that, he asked me to marry him.

And 6 months, 2 weeks, and 6 days from the MEMORABLE Valentine's Day, I said, "I DO!" to that beautiful man.

When God says to trust HIM, to believe in HIM, to have faith in HIM, why would I doubt? I wish I could say that because of this radical work that God did in my life that I NEVER doubted Him again, but that would not be true.

All I can say is "His grace is sufficient for me, and His power is (and continues to be) made perfect in my weakness."

Today, I want to say THANK YOU to my GREAT BIG AMAZING HEAVENLY DAD for bringing me the MOST AMAZING MAN.

It is MY pleasure to KEEP saying "I DO" to him each day for the rest of our lives.

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because

reality is finally better than your dreams

~ Dr Seuss

In His Grip,

The Prodigal

I love the parable of the Prodigal Son, and I know the story well. I have taught it many times from Sunday School classes to Women's Encounters, and I love the story of the father ALWAYS believing and hoping and longing for his son to come home.

Yesterday, I was listening again to Your Love Never Fails by Jesus Culture (I will post again since only maybe 5 of you actually read all my posts ...:)

....so I was listening and this song just encourages me every time I listen to it from the very first and my favorite line..."Nothing can separate, even if I run away -- Your love never fails."

And then my mind went back to the Prodigal Son. I suppose in all the years of teaching and studying this parable, I have never thought that I was the prodigal because I didn't have major rebellious episodes with my parents, choose a partying lifestyle, or link up with wild friends.

However, the prodigal WAS someone just like me.

He grew up in the father's house.
He watched how his father ran the farm.
He observed how his father treated the servants.
He experienced the generosity of the father.
He KNEW the father's love.

Yet...he wanted his own way. He wasn't satisfied with the Father's timing. He was impatient to do what he wanted with his inheritance.

Aren't we all that way sometimes? I know I have been. I get impatient with my Father's plan. I have complained about His timing or what seems like a "lack of timing" in my mind. I have analyzed and suggested a plan that I think is best. I have been angry and thrown "spiritual" temper tantrums or frozen Him out.

Yet His love never fails.....even if I run away.....

He is ALWAYS waiting and drawing my heart back to Him. He wants me. He longs to share His plans and His future FOR me WITH me. He wants my best. His plan has TRULY incorporated that even when I can't see it or don't believe. He truly "...makes all things work together for my good..." as the song goes on to proclaim.

Thanks, Dad! YOUR LOVE NEVER FAILS!!