Thursday, February 9, 2012

He Loved Me {Guest Post :: Christina}

Christina is a Relevant {now Allume} blogger friend, which is funny actually, because we did not even meet AT Relevant. We met afterwards, as she was the host of Recovering Good Girl series that I participated in last fall. Ever since then, we have become closer and closer friends. If she ever wins a million dollars, she would spend it traveling around the world. Sounds like my kinda girl, right? Christina is a pastor's wife, mommy of two, and music teacher writing out her heart at her personal blog, Momma Day by Day as well as a contributing writer at both Must Love God and Sisters in Bloom.


He Loved Me

I don't have a major mind-blowing testimony to share. No alcohol. No divorce. No drug use.

So when sweet Lindsey asked me to write on God's Relentless Love for me and how it has been shown in my life, I kinda freaked out. In what radical way has God showed me His love?

And so I thought for days. I didn't write. I just thought. And you know what God showed me? His Relentless Love is just the fact that He Loved Me.

And so I recount the ways that He Loved Me.



For as long as I can remember, I have had this clear picture of me and God. I am a little girl, about 7, with my hair in pigtails. I am holding onto Jesus' hand as we walk through a bright, green meadow. We come upon a big tree with long branches that almost makes you feel protected when you sit under it. And Jesus and I would talk. We would carve our names together in the tree. We would laugh and run. This picture would often come back to me in the dark of night, when life was tough and Mom was sick. He was becoming my Father to me.

He Loved Me.

In middle-school, I was not very popular and was not a part of the "elite field hockey" group. When I wasn't invited to sleepovers, it would hurt so bad. I felt unwanted.

He Loved Me.

Also in middle-school, a boyfriend dumped me for another girl. The pain of that rejection stayed with me for awhile as I wrestled with why I wasn't good enough or pretty enough.

He Loved Me.

In high-school as I strived to get the best grades possible so I could achieve great things, I started forgetting God and looking to myself for all things.

He Loved Me.

In college, every January would roll around and it would be time to decide your roommates for the following year. Every year, without fail, I would be without roommates and would have to scramble to find a good group. I came to dislike the whole winter housing process so much for fear of rejection or of being alone.


He Loved Me.

And as a young, new mom who had her rosy expectations of what it would be like to be a mother completely dashed by giving birth to a child who didn't sleep, lashed out at everyone and almost hated being a mother,


He Loved Me.

And today He loves this extremely flawed wife and mom of two precious girls who need her so incredibly much. He loves this woman who still watches the wrong TV show now and again and who still seeks for approval of humans more then the approval of God. He loves this woman who time and time again rejects Him for another way to be fulfilled.

He Still Loves Me.


So at the end of the day, I don't have an amazing conversion experience or an unbelievable story. My story of God's love has been through the little moments here and there...the moments that have shaped me. The trials, the tears, and the daily grind. But the fact that He still holds my hand and loves me through it all, makes His love...

Relentless.

This month I have asked some of my fellow bloggers to join me here at The Little Missionary Girl All Grown Up to share how they have seen the Relentless Love of the Father in their lives in moments of brokenness, heartache, and valley-of-shadow moments. This post is the 3rd in the series of that exploration into the passion of the Father for us across the miles, across the generations, across the hearts that are His.
To read more of the posts, click here and here.



337 comments:

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Annie | annieathome.com said... Best Blogger Tips

I think this is beautiful, Christina - the looking back and seeing grace in all those places creates such a deep appreciation for His relentless love. 

alwaysalleluia said... Best Blogger Tips

Beautiful!! Absolutely beautiful!!

Christina Gilliland said... Best Blogger Tips

Thank you, Kris! His story of love is so beautiful!

Christina Gilliland said... Best Blogger Tips

Yes, friend...I so deeply appreciate Him and His love that never leaves me :)

Jennifer Camp said... Best Blogger Tips

Oh Christina, you move me to tears. His love -- your testimony to His relentless love, tireless presence, everlasting grace -- makes me rejoice and my heart sing.  Thank you. So beautiful.

Christina Gilliland said... Best Blogger Tips

Jennifer! You are so sweet! It's all about Him and that He still loves me through it all, big or small :) Thankful for you! 

annasjoy said... Best Blogger Tips

I read this and thought "Crap!" See, I'm reading through these blogs to get an idea of what I'll write about for my own Relentless Love guest post, and you just took the words right out of my heart. Have we lived the same life? But, seriously, thank you! This is beautiful!

Christina Gilliland said... Best Blogger Tips

Anna!

You are hilarious! Well you can write the same thing :) Probably different people will read it, right? Ha! Thank you for reading! and it sounds like we have lived the same life :) Let's be friends!

Katie said... Best Blogger Tips

I can relate to so many of your experiences...  What a great reminder to look back and see God's love and direction through it all.  

Paulette said... Best Blogger Tips

Great post, Christina!  I, too, grew up in a Christian home, became a Christian at a young age, no big drama in my life......but God's love and grace is still as dramatic as any other person's story.  I came to recognize how He kept me from alot of what was going on around me (I am a child
 of the 60s!)  I am so thankful for that!  It's so good to look back on God's love and faithfulness in our lives.  He is always so faithful.  Thanks for your honesty and open heart that you share with us....when we open up our lives, we allow others to open up to us as well.
 

Christina Gilliland said... Best Blogger Tips

Yes, Paulette! It is a wonderful thing to recount the ways He has loved us! And your story is just as amazing :) He is so good, isn't He! Thankful for your presence in my life!

Christina Gilliland said... Best Blogger Tips

Yes, Katie! Praising Him with you tonight! Thanks for reading :)

Amy Lee Ellis said... Best Blogger Tips

Oh, this is so so true.  God pursues us through the everyday ups and downs.  Somehow it's easier to remember needing him when there's high drama going on, but a little harder when we deal with "normal" stuff.

Christina Gilliland said... Best Blogger Tips

Yes, Amy :) He is the same whether there are really tough or really good things happening...and also when it is just life! Thankful for Him and thankful for you reading :)

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