He Loved Me {Guest Post :: Christina}

Christina is a Relevant {now Allume} blogger friend, which is funny actually, because we did not even meet AT Relevant. We met afterwards, as she was the host of Recovering Good Girl series that I participated in last fall. Ever since then, we have become closer and closer friends. If she ever wins a million dollars, she would spend it traveling around the world. Sounds like my kinda girl, right? Christina is a pastor's wife, mommy of two, and music teacher writing out her heart at her personal blog, Momma Day by Day as well as a contributing writer at both Must Love God and Sisters in Bloom.

He Loved Me

I don't have a major mind-blowing testimony to share. No alcohol. No divorce. No drug use.

So when sweet Lindsey asked me to write on God's Relentless Love for me and how it has been shown in my life, I kinda freaked out. In what radical way has God showed me His love?

And so I thought for days. I didn't write. I just thought. And you know what God showed me? His Relentless Love is just the fact that He Loved Me.

And so I recount the ways that He Loved Me.

For as long as I can remember, I have had this clear picture of me and God. I am a little girl, about 7, with my hair in pigtails. I am holding onto Jesus' hand as we walk through a bright, green meadow. We come upon a big tree with long branches that almost makes you feel protected when you sit under it. And Jesus and I would talk. We would carve our names together in the tree. We would laugh and run. This picture would often come back to me in the dark of night, when life was tough and Mom was sick. He was becoming my Father to me.

He Loved Me.

In middle-school, I was not very popular and was not a part of the "elite field hockey" group. When I wasn't invited to sleepovers, it would hurt so bad. I felt unwanted.

He Loved Me.

Also in middle-school, a boyfriend dumped me for another girl. The pain of that rejection stayed with me for awhile as I wrestled with why I wasn't good enough or pretty enough.

He Loved Me.

In high-school as I strived to get the best grades possible so I could achieve great things, I started forgetting God and looking to myself for all things.

He Loved Me.

In college, every January would roll around and it would be time to decide your roommates for the following year. Every year, without fail, I would be without roommates and would have to scramble to find a good group. I came to dislike the whole winter housing process so much for fear of rejection or of being alone.


He Loved Me.

And as a young, new mom who had her rosy expectations of what it would be like to be a mother completely dashed by giving birth to a child who didn't sleep, lashed out at everyone and almost hated being a mother,


He Loved Me.

And today He loves this extremely flawed wife and mom of two precious girls who need her so incredibly much. He loves this woman who still watches the wrong TV show now and again and who still seeks for approval of humans more then the approval of God. He loves this woman who time and time again rejects Him for another way to be fulfilled.

He Still Loves Me.

So at the end of the day, I don't have an amazing conversion experience or an unbelievable story. My story of God's love has been through the little moments here and there...the moments that have shaped me. The trials, the tears, and the daily grind. But the fact that He still holds my hand and loves me through it all, makes His love...

Relentless.

This month I have asked some of my fellow bloggers to join me here at The Little Missionary Girl All Grown Up to share how they have seen the Relentless Love of the Father in their lives in moments of brokenness, heartache, and valley-of-shadow moments. This post is the 3rd in the series of that exploration into the passion of the Father for us across the miles, across the generations, across the hearts that are His.

To read more of the posts, click here and here.