{RE}discovering Him :: Day 18 - The Hard

Sometimes life is hard.

Sometimes you wake up in the morning expecting one thing and by the end of the day you are saying goodbye to someone you love.

Sometimes your day is spent in the hospital with not one, not two, but three loved ones with ailing bodies.

Sometimes you experience "the hard" and sometimes you are there to help others through THEIR hard, even if just for a short portion of their day.

Today was that day for me.

Today was a day that I could take a step out in those callings, desires, giftings that burn my eyes with tears or simply tug at the recesses of my heart and give love to those I love, when they were hurting.

I wish I could have done more, stayed longer, loved better, but I took my first step back into the game. I did what I could, what my body allowed for today, and tried to just BE THERE, like He is for me.

{RE}discovery :: When He is strong IN me, real TO me, there FOR me, He gives me something to give into others' lives, no matter how small or insignificant....nothing He uses is every wasted!!

Previous - Day 17 :: The Strongest

Next - Day 19 :: The I Am

20 Questions for 2010

I thought I would share my thoughts of my own reflections of 2010 to keep me accountable to do it, and I hope that you will join me either in your comments below, on your own blog, or in a personal journal. I would love to hear what last year meant to you, so would you consider sharing your answer to even just one of the questions below....??

Happy Reading, Processing, and Writing!

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

~God saved my parents and so many loved ones in the January 12 Haiti earthquake



2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

~Waiting 18 hours to hear from my parents after the initial quake

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

~Spending Christmas with my family


4. What was an unexpected obstacle?

~Still not having our own little one by the end of this year

5. Pick three words to describe 2010.

~Hard. Challenging. Milestone.

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2010 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).

~Hard. Scary. Heart-breaking.

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2010 (again, without asking).

~Tough. Challenging. Faith-building.

8. What were the best books you read this year?

~Hinds Feet on High Places, My Utmost for His Highest (partial), and my beloved, Anne of Green Gables series




9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

~My husband, my parents, my sister, Pastors Bert & Charne, some KINDRED besties (you know who you are!)

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

~Moving from South Africa to America



11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

~Discovering some of my key weaknesses and how much I "can't" do alone

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

~Revelled in the amazing grace of God in ways that I never expected

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

~Learning how to slow down, rest, listen to my body, regroup, and to stop trying to prove something to myself and/or others by how MUCH I can do (still learning.....)

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

~WOW! I value people EVEN more than I did before, and I was raised with that appreciation but it increased infinitely in the past year.

15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

~Connecting with "my people" -- disciples, co-workers, leaders -- sharing Jesus & life together

16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

~Figuring out how to balance my love for the work and the people with my physical health

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

~Probably TV

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

~Learning to spend time receiving the love of the Father, starting & working on this blog, encouraging others when I can, connecting with friends {new & old} who have encouraged me

19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?

~"I" have to stop trying to do EVERYTHING in my life and relationship with God in my own strength and ability

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2010 for you.

~My grace is sufficient for you, and My power is made perfect in your weaknesses...

Another Chapter Ends...

Since I last posted, we packed up our belongings in our beautiful house to prepare it to be an investment property, we travelled to gorgeous Cape Town (more on that in another post) with Arno’s parents, and we re-packed for the 3rd time in the last 10 days.

And now…...

Today is the day that we leave on a jet plane, not knowing when exactly that we will be back again.

I wrote a few weeks ago about how life is a bittersweet symphony, and it is true. I feel that keenly today.

My Facebook wall is filled with mixed messages…

from
“I don’t want you to pack” and “I miss you already”
to
“I can’t wait to hug your neck” and “I am counting down the days.”

And so the pages turn….

But love....love carries on. It is not quantifiable; it cannot be measured by the color of your skin, the place you are born the language you speak, or the way you style your hair.

While America is the country of my passport , my accent, & my immediate heritage, Haiti is the country of my birth & my original “people” and South Africa is the country of my husband, my adult maturing, & some of my BIG TIME grace learning. So no matter what country I find myself in, there are people that I will miss and others that I will hug and have coffee with (figuratively since I don’t actually drink coffee). :) :)

So here’s the thing: When you truly love people, saying goodbye is NEVER easy.

And while tomorrow, I will hug my sister for the first time in 9 months (and I can’t wait), there are “sisters” (and brothers) here whose embraces I may not feel for just as long or longer and my heart truly feels that sorrow.

I will miss biltong and pepperdews and fresh avocado MOST of the year
I will miss no humidity basically year round.
I will miss the diversity of cultures and languages all in one place.
I will miss living in our God-given house.

But mostly I will miss the faces…..
…the faces of the children greeting me on Sunday mornings

…the faces of my disciples walking through the door of our house on Monday nights

…the faces of my leaders challenging me in the Word and laughing at LIFE

…the faces of “my boys” as I walked into the office every day, into the sanctuary they called the Wisdom Academy

...the faces of friends JUST happy to see MY face

...the faces of diversity & culture, of laughter & sorrow, of joys & fears….

So today, I say, “Goodbye, Rainbow Nation!”

But just for now…..

I will see you again soon!

You can count on that!

Farewell to the Faces of South Africa

During this week, while we are packing up to leave South Africa, I would like to share a few "faces" of this beautiful country that have graced my life in special ways over the past 3 years and make this Rainbow Nation SUCH a unique place to live....

Isabella

Baby Ethan & his new friend :)

Uncle Jakes & Auntie Gloria


....and my favorite of the week for Sweet Shot Tuesday and Communal Global where I am linking up to both for the first time this week. These two faces are coming with me on the next step of the journey....it's nice to take a few familiar things with you...:)

My Bokkie and my baby girl, Patches