Thursday, August 19, 2010

What is Your Obsession? - Part 1

Just like most little girls (from my generation) I loved Barbies, playing dress up, putting on makeup, twirling in my new Easter dress (with matching gloves & socks, no less, thanks to Mom Moms and Aunts), watching love stories (LOVED Gone With The Wind from the time I was 8), giggling with my girlfriends over silly secrets, crazy crushes, and daring dreams. I LOVED pretending to be the princess in the fairytale (sister, Kasi - Cinderella; cousin, Wendy - Snow White; Me - Sleeping Beauty).

However, for me, even greater than the love for all things "girly" was the love of books -- to travel to new worlds, to achieve successes I could only dream of, to become the hero or heroine, to save the world, to be crushed by the tragedies as if it were myself and to soar to the highest heights with each victory.

When I started school, I just loved, loved learning -- I KNOW -- I was a nerd!! What am I talking about -- I still am!! Ha!! But I can't help! I have always loved knowing things, just ask my PATIENT mother. I think my first 3 words were, "Mama," "Dada," and "WHY?"

In knowing & learning things, I loved to compete. My family encouraged healthy competition in games and fun things at home -- not crushing the opponent but teaching us by giving us the opportunity to grow through defeat as well as victory.

In elementary school, it wasn't enough for me to just get an A; I wanted to get the HIGHEST grade in the class. In high school, I relaxed "somewhat." There were others in the class with a consistently higher GPA than me so I carved out a NEW identity for myself. I became a peer tutor, I took on a part-time job with my school, and I wrote an article or two for the local paper.

Once I got to O.R.U., there were so many people with SO many gifts and talents that at first it was quite daunting. However, the Lord began changing my heart and I began to go full force into all kinds of extra-curriculars--tried out for being a wing chaplain & eventually became one after first being denied; tried out for the ORU worship team, but didn't make that; got asked to try out for Head Chaplain but only got accepted after applying the second year; tried out for a school play and made it; took all the classes that I wanted to take except one; worked a variety of part-time jobs for experience; travelled to a different place almost every Fall & Spring Break; and made friends from not only all over America, but also all over the world.

I enjoyed the journey and grew up in the process. In my classes, my professors collectively named me "The Sponge" because I truly loved to learn and I approached every situation and activity with that same passion and desire.

When I finished at ORU, I began contemplating my next step: job, ministry, Master's degree, etc, and I came to a crossroads & face-to-face with myself. I really LOVE learning so getting a Master's degree was the logical next step especially since my BA was in Psychology. However as I began to seek the Lord about it, the Holy Spirit was so clear to me:

Don't set up a kingdom for yourself, Lindsey.

Now, I am not saying that higher education is wrong -- not at all -- and one day, I may still get my Master's and even my Doctorate. But this was the thing for me, you see since I was a little girl, I didn't care about being the prettiest, but I really wanted to be the smartest, the most successful, or the one who had acheived this HIGH accolade. And although, at this point in my life, I didn't care about being the best anymore, I still wanted to make a SIGNIFICANT mark on the world. I wanted to BE something!! However, I realized the GREAT, BIG, HARD TRUTH in the Lord's words to me so I received His words and guidance for my life, trusting that AS ALWAYS, He has the BEST plan worked out.

I have never regretted my decision and I have seen God's hand in my life over these past 10 years. The world that He has created FOR ME has been beautiful...

Come back tomorrow where I will share more on "My Obsession."


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