Thursday, December 13, 2012

Unwrapped :: Still Faithful

My week has been filled with snot tissues and pine needle throat and hacking up a lung coughing
A lot.
Of all of the above.

I have been inside of these four walls for days now.
Life has felt very small.
And slow.
And still.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this yuckiness, I spent an hour on the phone with my dear pal, Annie, cause after all there is only SO much quiet an extrovert can take pine-needle throat and foggy-bottom head notwithstanding.

Saying no to the things on my plate this week were not easy.
I am too hard on myself apparently.
That is what my dad always told me.
And he is right.

But I feel like I am still learning how to give myself grace.
Even when I know I probably let some people down or disappointed them or slacked on my "duties."
This years-long journey of listening to my body and not being superwoman often finds me frustrated with my own inability to cope with the changing seasons of this life.

"What do you mean I cannot say yes to everything and everyone all the time? 
Is there something TRULY wrong with that?"

I am daily letting go of perfectionism, only to...and let me be REAL honest here...turn right back around and pick it back up two seconds later. C'mon. The fact that it is two WHOLE seconds now is a miracle in itself. I used to have Olympic gold medal winner speed in grabbing that perfectionism close to my breast.

I am a work in progress.

A song and verse come to mind swiftly as I type those words...

♫ He's still working on me.
To make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week
to make the moon and the stars
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
He's still working on me. 

He who began a good work in me is faithful to complete it...
Philippians 1:6

I have been thinking a lot about what next year holds.
The horizon looks long and wide and while that should be is exciting,
to tell you the truth,
I am terrified.

I feel underprepared and that is never happiness for a girl like me.
But this week reminded me that sometimes I have to be alone and still and quiet to remember who He is even when I am not actively seeking to know. He is faithful to show up and to change me and to complete the work He starts and to give me the tools I need when I need them.

So I am tenderly, with trembling hands, unwrapping the gift of His faithfulness in the smallness of my week.

Linking up with Tuesdays Unwrapped, Imperfect Prose, and Thought-Provoking Thursday.


Sylvia Robertson said... Best Blogger Tips

Oh, my! I guess we have something in common this week! (See what I posted right before today's blog post.)
Getting sidelined and making no "progress" comes hard with me, too, but God has been teaching me there's blessing in the stop-and-wait times, if I'll just reach out and accept it.
Hope you're well soon (and me, too! ;)
Sylvia R @

Amy said... Best Blogger Tips

Oh, girlfriend, so sorry you've had to deal with the ick and the cold weather and shorter days all at the same time. Your self-awareness is so vital to help you keep this on track. Saying no will only enable you to say yes to the right things. Btw- I'm going to have that dong in my head all night now. Thanks for that. ;)

Erin Elizabeth said... Best Blogger Tips

Your heart is so beautiful! I just found you through the Chatting at the Sky linkup. Now following and excited to read more :)


Mary Bonner said... Best Blogger Tips

Lindsey, this is beautiful! And as for laying it down and picking it back up...learning to lay it down and LEAVE it is a process I think. I love your heart here...thank you for sharing.

Denise said... Best Blogger Tips

Thanks for sharing your heart! I can so relate! Get well soon!

Karrilee Aggett said... Best Blogger Tips

Beautiful! Praying you feel better soon - but thankful you were able to rest a bit this week! Sometimes saying No is the best thing for us... and for Him... and for 'them'!

smoothstones said... Best Blogger Tips

Hope you feel better soon! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

holley gerth said... Best Blogger Tips

Hope you're feeling better, friend! XOXO

Emily Wierenga said... Best Blogger Tips

immanuel. God with us. even in the small spaces. oh friend, may you know healing, and grace. love you.

Kris Camealy said... Best Blogger Tips

ph sweet friend! How sorry I am that you've been sick! Praying you are healing nicely now, and know I am only a phone call away! :) I too had a fantastic chat with Annie last week. I miss you both so much! Praying for you!! XOO

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lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

Thank you so much...I feel like I am FINALLY coming back to the land of the living! ;-)

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips beautiful! Your words are poetry to my soul!

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

Thanks, girl! FINALLY getting there! LOVE YOU!!

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

Thank you!! Hope your Christmas was beautiful and your New Year is fresh and hopeful!

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

Isn't that the truth? And sometimes the hardest too....{sigh}...glad I can finally get back with the program a little this week...I pray!!

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

Thank you, Denise, on all counts!

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

That is GOOD encouragement! Here's to the process and staying the course on the slow days! Thank you, Mary! You are ALWAYS a treasure!

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

Oh, Erin! You rock! Thank you so much for your sweet words and kind heart!

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

Oh how are you feeling? I feel like I am still taking to TOTALLY shake has hung on for dear life even as I tried to kill it!

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