Thirty-four years of tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock....resounding louder and louder as each day passes.
I have always believed that God has a plan, His own timing for our lives.
Sometimes it just seems CRAZY slow.
I try to focus on the positive,
but it is hard when little things derail me,
Especially the knowledge that so many friends my age are attending middle school concerts or at the very least kindergarden ones.
My friend, Holley, says we are all on a one lane track, not competing against each other, measuring mile markers at the same checkpoints.
I love that.
It reminds me not to focus on that "I'm getting behind!" feeling.
Which I do.
Yet. The pounding, booming pulses in my head reminding me that I am getting older every day. That my body is not what it used to be. That my curves have not yet held life and time is slowly but surely moving to the point on the scale where the hours are not on my side anymore.
I think that is what I appreciate about my friend, Emily.
I work for her.
She is a Mary Kay director, and I assist her a couple of afternoons a week -- office work, graphic design, babysitting, car pooling, getting dinner prepped, basically whatever she needs during those hours.
Her kids have crawled their way into my heart.
Jake Ray is 6, almost 7.
Olivia will be 3 in two weeks.
There is play and laughter.
Negotiation and discipline.
Imagination and discovery.
Games and tears.
They know me well now...enough to push the boundaries to see how far they can go...we have our "moments" together.
But they love me.
And I love them.
You see, Emily and her husband, Wayne had to wait a long time for these two gifts, so they do not take parenting lightly, and the most beautiful thing, they do not hold it selfishly.
She lets them love me and have a relationship with me
And not just me
But others too
Whom they both love JUST as freely.
as I danced with them in front of the spotlights in the yard, making monster shadows on the house as their parents put up Christmas decorations, I felt thankful to be given this gift from two grown ups who themselves know the deep anguish in waiting in a world that is seemingly leaving you behind.
And I want to remember this open-handed holding in which they love their kids
Inviting others into the joy.
This is how I unwrap the gift of today...