Unwrapped :: Open-Handed Love

Most days it sounds more like the booming bass of an African drum than the steady ticking of a reliable timepiece.

Thirty-four years of tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock....resounding louder and louder as each day passes.

I have always believed that God has a plan, His own timing for our lives.
Sometimes it just seems CRAZY slow.

I try to focus on the positive, 

but it is hard when little things derail me,

Especially the knowledge that so many friends my age are attending middle school concerts or at the very least kindergarden ones.

My friend, Holley, says we are all on a one lane track, not competing against each other, measuring mile markers at the same checkpoints.

I love that.
It reminds me not to focus on that "I'm getting behind!" feeling.

Which I do.

A LOT.

Yet. The pounding, booming pulses in my head reminding me that I am getting older every day. That my body is not what it used to be. That my curves have not yet held life and time is slowly but surely moving to the point on the scale where the hours are not on my side anymore.

I think that is what I appreciate about my friend, Emily.

I work for her.
She is a Mary Kay director, and I assist her a couple of afternoons a week -- office work, graphic design, babysitting, car pooling, getting dinner prepped, basically whatever she needs during those hours.

Her kids have crawled their way into my heart. 

Jake Ray is 6, almost 7.

Olivia will be 3 in two weeks.

There is play and laughter.
Negotiation and discipline.
Imagination and discovery.
Games and tears.

They know me well now...enough to push the boundaries to see how far they can go...we have our "moments" together.

But they love me.
And I love them.
Very much.

You see, Emily and her husband, Wayne had to wait a long time for these two gifts, so they do not take parenting lightly, and the most beautiful thing, they do not hold it selfishly.

She lets them love me and have a relationship with me
And not just me
But others too
Whom they both love JUST as freely.

Today
as I danced with them in front of the spotlights in the yard, making monster shadows on the house as their parents put up Christmas decorations, I felt thankful to be given this gift from two grown ups who themselves know the deep anguish in waiting in a world that is seemingly leaving you behind.

And I want to remember this open-handed holding in which they love their kids
Inviting others into the joy.

This is how I unwrap the gift of today...

Project 365 :: Day 315-328

Outdoor walks, a movie date, visits with old friends and little goddaughters,

 an 80th birthday, Black Friday shopping and more!

Happy holiday month!

Day 315 :: My boys chillin' together 

Day 316 :: Hanging with my Gran-Gran Betty Lou 

Day 317 :: We all need a little Paris in our lives, right? 

Day 318 :: Yeah. We own this place. :-)

Day 319 :: Movie Date with my favorite man!  

Day 320 :: Yeah it was just this kind of the day -- 

the-finish-the-ice-cream-right-out-of-the-carton kind of day!   

Day 321 :: Love her -- little Mace girl

#OurGoddaughter 

Day 323 :: Yay! A visit from "Bames"

It had been over 5 years!

#CollegePalsAreTheBest 

Day 324(1) :: Skyping with my mom in Haiti for Granny's birthday 

Day 324(2) :: Granny with ALL her grands and great-grands 

on her 80th birthday 

Day 325 :: A fall walk 

Day 326 :: Happy Thanksgiving Day from the van Niekerks! 

Day 327(1) :: A 3 am Black Friday photo opp during my first time

Black Friday shopping ever

#SisterFun #NoWeDidNotBuyThisChocolate

Day 327(2) :: I'm always saying what great teeth he has.... ;-) 

Day 328 :: A little more shopping with two of my favorite people!!

I'm on a journey, chronicling my life with a picture a day for a year. I am nearing the end of my journey {less than 40 days left!} and have delighted in the consistent discovery of the world around me in my day-to-day life in a uniquely different way as well as learned more about my DSLR to better capture those precious moments. 

{Update: Currently taking the 2nd of two photography classes 
with my sister this fall/winter 2012...very exciting stuff!!}

Project 365 :: Week 5

Day 29 :: "Dancing in the Moonlight"

Day 30 :: What I Wore - hot pink thermal long sleeved shirt,

brown suede cotton fur vest, army green shorts, diamond plaid tights

and {again} my favorite army-style lace up brown boots

Day 31 :: Shopping at Walmart on the way home

Day 32 :: Camera Love and "my" view

Day 33 :: My cousin Wendy's oldest, Meghan's 12 birthday party

Day 34 :: Chillin'

I'm on a journey to chronicle my life with a picture a day for a year. I hope to discover the world around me in my day-to-day life in a uniquely different way as well as learn more about my DSLR to better capture those precious moments. Linking up with my friend Paige and others who are taking this challenge too.

What I'm Into These Days

Listening ... In Christ Alone performed by Adam of Owl City seems to be what I press repeat on the most these days. I cry almost every time.....

Watching ... I love watching a whole series at a time, so I spent time in the late 90's WB shows for awhile -- shows that I missed while I was busy studying in college. As of late, I have watched {and caught up completely, I might add} Downton Abbey, which I can honestly say shot a thrill of excitement through me from the musical intro of the first episode. There is a reason it has been named by Guinness Book of World Records as the "most critically acclaimed English-language television show" for the year 2011, becoming the first British show to be so recognized. And finally and currently, another British drama, Lark Rise to Candleford has captured my senses.

Reading ... I seem to do most of my reading online lately -- blogs and such, but I am finishing up Grace for the Good Girl, and then I plan to dive into The Ragamuffin Gospel. I am a bit late to that party since it was released over 25 years ago, but I think it is the right time for me to be diving in. Fiction is my favorite, and I seem to have a backlog of book waiting for me. I will have to carve out some time for them soon.

Pinning ... I found all of these lovely bucket list items on Pinterest last and had a blast pinning over 150 items. Some I have done and some I haven't. It encouraged me not only to remember thing that I have done but to remember that I have a lot more life left to live!

Eating ... I am pretty well addicted to Multi Grain Pringles. I buy 3-4 cans at a time so that they will last me for awhile. And lest you think I am SO healthy -- Hot Tamales and Twizzlers Filled Twists are, too, a great weakness of mine currently.

Drinking ... I am always drinking Clear American Sparkling Water, preferably in Key Lime, but also in Lemon. I started over a year ago, and I try to drink at least 2 liters a day.

Wearing ... With the variety of part-time jobs I have, doing personal/virtual assistant work, most of them take me either TO someone's home or working at my own home, so there is not always a lot of incentive to "fix" up. However, I try to at least half of the week. So on any given day you will either find me in one of my artistic, random outfit creations, or Arno's T-shirt and yoga pants. LOL!

Feeling ... I have been feeling quite anxious during January. I think between unresolved health issues, pending house closing that keeps getting put off, and my perfectionistic need to have a schedule, even when impractical, I have to learn to give my self a break!

Weather ... The weather has been unseasonably warm around here, which is so nice for the chronic pains to be lessened.

Wanting ... Primarily for our house to close soon...but also to go to 1 or 2 blogging or writing conferences this year. My mom just told me today that she would like to go with me this summer! Eeee! How exciting -- as I get my love of the written word from her. Praying that the right doors, place, timing, finances all work out for these things to happen.

Needing ... to find a balance between my left-sided schedule orientation and my right-sided need to breathe deep and just enjoy

Thinking ... about the future...house, children -- foster & biological, dreams that the Father has for me...for us.

Enjoying ... this season of life -- scary as it may be sometimes, I realize I am walking in the middle of a HUGE step of faith and I am not sure how I got here, but I am finally learning to just enjoy the ride.

What about you? What are you currently up to?

Thanks to my friend, Sarah Styles Bessey, for the inspiration to do this list! She will be joining us here on Valentine's Day during the Relentless Love series....so you will not want to miss that!!

{MY} 12 Days of Christmas

Day 12 :: This book has really been changing my life in all kinds of ways.

You can read my journey HERE.

Day 11 :: Mom had laparoscopic gall bladder surgery

and her & my buddy, Morris snuggled up

on the recliner together afterwards.

Day 10 :: Arno & I shared a Christmas tree

posing moment at his office party dinner.

Day 9 :: Ever since I was a teenager, we would all go together

to pick out a REAL live tree. It is truly a highlight of the year for me.

This year was no different. I promise....we DID help out my dad

eventually....after we snapped our pics! ;-)

Day 8 :: I felt such a joy in celebrating Christmas at church the Sunday before.

Reminded that NEVER ONCE did I ever

walk alone through every heartache and trial

Day 7 :: My boss' {and friend's} son LOVES photo shoots.

THIS is one of his many self portraits with my camera.

He's 5. ;-)

Day 6 :: I haven't talked about it much online, but we are hoping to close

on a house mid-January. Here is a sneak peek into the Great Room.

Day 5 :: Lunch with my parents {grandmother was there too}

Loved capturing this moment filled with loads of laughter!

Day 4 :: This pic is kind of a miracle pic -- my grandfather

with ALL of his children and grandchildren. Years of shame & secrecy

transformed into healing and restored relationships!!

Day 3 :: While shopping with my Dad and Sis for my mom, we stopped

at my friend, Jamie's, who designs hand made jewelry pieces.

You can find them on her Etsy page at Whimsea Designs.

While there, I made a new friend.

Day 2 :: Watching one of my all time favorites {and annual Christmas tradition}

It's a Wonderful Life

Day 1 :: Christmas Day spent with family doing one of my

all-time favorite activities -- BOARD GAMES!!

Those are my 12 Days of Christmas.

Thanks for letting me share them with you!

What were some of your highlights??

Hope yours were special and dare-I-say-it.....relaxing???

Happy 4th of July!

This patriotic weekend....

We laugh

We eat

We play

We make memories

We enjoy friends

and family

We remember

As we celebrate, picnic, & party this weekend, we are so thankful that we CAN actually celebrate all that makes us American, all that makes us free.

Happy 4th of July!