His Love Pursues {Guest Post :: Jen}

Jen is a friend that I have never met {in real life} but I feel like I have. Does that make sense? We made a connection over our time in Africa, and then in the choice to sabbatical. It seemed like the Lord brought her into my life at JUST the point when I needed a friend who understood the hard place and decision we were having to make. Jen makes her house a home with husband Jeremy and her two blonde-haired beauties {1 boy, 1 girl} in Texas. The way she has made space for God to use her in her artistic endeavors has and continues to inspire and challenge me. From photography to knitting to trying out new & healthy recipes, it seems that there is not much that Jen cannot do when she sets her mind, heart, and hands to it. Her blog home is I Believe in Love where she shares all of her artistic ventures. You can also find her kind, heartfelt, and practical words at Today's Mama.

His Love Pursues

Relentless love... The word that comes to mind is pursuit, God's pursuit of us, because of His love. Welcome to my story of God's relentless love for me...

I've been in the non-profit, full-time ministry world since 1996. What an amazing journey of traveling to 17 nations with my husband and kids! In 2005, my husband and I, along with another friend, founded Ten Thousand Homes whose aim is to bring HOPE and HOME to orphans in southern Africa. However, by 2009, I was spent. After 13 years, I was exhausted in every possible sense of the word. I knew I needed some sort of break, but there was a tug of war going on in my heart. I (and my husband) thought that if I just changed some things up, it would be ok. After all, there were children with no parents and they needed people to love them, and I was tired? Come on. God's love for those kids is relentless, but so is his love for me. That's when I heard it....

"Come away and rest."

I was truly ignorant on what a sabbatical meant but after coming through to the end, my heart swells and tears pool thinking about His love for me. It was in that year and a half of sabbatical that God showed me my passions. He brought healing to relationships and gave me space to dream. I'm not a natural dreamer, but as I tore down the walls of why I couldn't dream, they came. Some of them were small, like having one of my photos published in a magazine, and others were big, like traveling the world with my camera and telling the stories. I know dreams are just dreams. They're not necessarily goals and just because you dream them, doesn't mean they will happen. But God, in His incredible, relentless love for me, allowed them to happen.


Within a few months, my blog was published in Artful Blogging and I was asked to go to India and use photography to tell the stories of girls rescued out of prostitution. I was blown away to see dreams coming true right before my eyes, and all I could say was, "Thank you, Jesus."

As I've come out of sabbatical, I've realized that the kids in Africa were taken care of despite me stepping away (smile) and that the dreaming and understanding more of how I'm wired and what my passions are, are all helping me to be more effective now. He sees the bigger picture, and it's His love for us that drives Him to pursue our highest good. For me, it was admitting that I needed to rest...

This month I have asked some of my fellow bloggers to join me here at The Little Missionary Girl All Grown Up to share how they have seen the Relentless Love of the Father in their lives in moments of brokenness, heartache, and valley-of-shadow moments. This post is the 7th in the series of that exploration into the passion of the Father for us

across miles, across personalities, across hearts that are His.

To read more of the posts, click here and here.

Five Minute Friday: The Colors of My World

Five Minute Friday

Stop.

Drop.

Write.

No major editing.

No big fuss.

Topic :: Color

Ready?

Set?
GO.

My world has always been filled with color

From the golden sunsets over Hispaniola

To the white crest waves of my Eastern US home

From the amber waves of grain in my midwestern college days

To the Rainbow Nation that I married into

I love color.
Red and yellow, black and white
They are precious in this sight.
Seeing the world in the many hues is the advantage of growing up with the title "missionary kid"

But the colors of life are vaster, wider, deeper, even now than my little girl eyes ever knew
The deep dark black and blue waters of pain and sorrow
The radiant yellow and orange sunrises of new love awakening
The deep, warm, & mysterious greens of the inner psyche of the ones around me.

Pause.
Deep Breath.
Sigh.
I'm glad for the God of the multi-colored-dimensional world.

STOP.

My mind is in many deep waters today....all part of the color of being ME...I suppose. {smile}

Join me over at Lisa-Jo's today?

My Only Regret

When I first started blogging, I had a commenter tell me that they enjoyed my blog but that their only regret is that they found my blog as I was leaving Africa.

I had only been blogging regularly for a couple of months at that point and truly did not have a clue why or what I was doing. My life was in major transition, and emotionally, I found myself at rock bottom. Leaving South Africa was one of the hardest decisions of my whole life thus far because leaving there also meant taking an indefinite "time-out" from full time ministry, which had pretty much defined my entire existence, both as a child and as an adult, with no clue as to what and where God was taking my husband and I next.

So while I know that the commenter's intentions were not meant to hurt or to harm, the impact of those few ill-timed words ran deep into my soul.

What did I think I was doing starting a blog in this season of my life?

What did I think I would have to say?

I was in the midst of brokenness and sorrow and pain.

************************************************************************

Would you join me over at Momma Day by Day to hear the rest of the story?

20 Questions for 2010

I thought I would share my thoughts of my own reflections of 2010 to keep me accountable to do it, and I hope that you will join me either in your comments below, on your own blog, or in a personal journal. I would love to hear what last year meant to you, so would you consider sharing your answer to even just one of the questions below....??

Happy Reading, Processing, and Writing!

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

~God saved my parents and so many loved ones in the January 12 Haiti earthquake



2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

~Waiting 18 hours to hear from my parents after the initial quake

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

~Spending Christmas with my family


4. What was an unexpected obstacle?

~Still not having our own little one by the end of this year

5. Pick three words to describe 2010.

~Hard. Challenging. Milestone.

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2010 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).

~Hard. Scary. Heart-breaking.

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2010 (again, without asking).

~Tough. Challenging. Faith-building.

8. What were the best books you read this year?

~Hinds Feet on High Places, My Utmost for His Highest (partial), and my beloved, Anne of Green Gables series




9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

~My husband, my parents, my sister, Pastors Bert & Charne, some KINDRED besties (you know who you are!)

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

~Moving from South Africa to America



11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

~Discovering some of my key weaknesses and how much I "can't" do alone

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

~Revelled in the amazing grace of God in ways that I never expected

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

~Learning how to slow down, rest, listen to my body, regroup, and to stop trying to prove something to myself and/or others by how MUCH I can do (still learning.....)

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

~WOW! I value people EVEN more than I did before, and I was raised with that appreciation but it increased infinitely in the past year.

15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

~Connecting with "my people" -- disciples, co-workers, leaders -- sharing Jesus & life together

16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

~Figuring out how to balance my love for the work and the people with my physical health

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

~Probably TV

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

~Learning to spend time receiving the love of the Father, starting & working on this blog, encouraging others when I can, connecting with friends {new & old} who have encouraged me

19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?

~"I" have to stop trying to do EVERYTHING in my life and relationship with God in my own strength and ability

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2010 for you.

~My grace is sufficient for you, and My power is made perfect in your weaknesses...

Another Chapter Ends...

Since I last posted, we packed up our belongings in our beautiful house to prepare it to be an investment property, we travelled to gorgeous Cape Town (more on that in another post) with Arno’s parents, and we re-packed for the 3rd time in the last 10 days.

And now…...

Today is the day that we leave on a jet plane, not knowing when exactly that we will be back again.

I wrote a few weeks ago about how life is a bittersweet symphony, and it is true. I feel that keenly today.

My Facebook wall is filled with mixed messages…

from
“I don’t want you to pack” and “I miss you already”
to
“I can’t wait to hug your neck” and “I am counting down the days.”

And so the pages turn….

But love....love carries on. It is not quantifiable; it cannot be measured by the color of your skin, the place you are born the language you speak, or the way you style your hair.

While America is the country of my passport , my accent, & my immediate heritage, Haiti is the country of my birth & my original “people” and South Africa is the country of my husband, my adult maturing, & some of my BIG TIME grace learning. So no matter what country I find myself in, there are people that I will miss and others that I will hug and have coffee with (figuratively since I don’t actually drink coffee). :) :)

So here’s the thing: When you truly love people, saying goodbye is NEVER easy.

And while tomorrow, I will hug my sister for the first time in 9 months (and I can’t wait), there are “sisters” (and brothers) here whose embraces I may not feel for just as long or longer and my heart truly feels that sorrow.

I will miss biltong and pepperdews and fresh avocado MOST of the year
I will miss no humidity basically year round.
I will miss the diversity of cultures and languages all in one place.
I will miss living in our God-given house.

But mostly I will miss the faces…..
…the faces of the children greeting me on Sunday mornings

…the faces of my disciples walking through the door of our house on Monday nights

…the faces of my leaders challenging me in the Word and laughing at LIFE

…the faces of “my boys” as I walked into the office every day, into the sanctuary they called the Wisdom Academy

...the faces of friends JUST happy to see MY face

...the faces of diversity & culture, of laughter & sorrow, of joys & fears….

So today, I say, “Goodbye, Rainbow Nation!”

But just for now…..

I will see you again soon!

You can count on that!

Farewell to the Faces of South Africa

During this week, while we are packing up to leave South Africa, I would like to share a few "faces" of this beautiful country that have graced my life in special ways over the past 3 years and make this Rainbow Nation SUCH a unique place to live....

Isabella

Baby Ethan & his new friend :)

Uncle Jakes & Auntie Gloria


....and my favorite of the week for Sweet Shot Tuesday and Communal Global where I am linking up to both for the first time this week. These two faces are coming with me on the next step of the journey....it's nice to take a few familiar things with you...:)

My Bokkie and my baby girl, Patches

A Bittersweet Symphony

"Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life...." The Verve

Being a missionary kid, change & transition came with the territory. From the day I was born in L'hopital Canape Verde(The Green Couch Hospital) in Haiti, there were people who loved me in another culture & place who actually shared genes with me whom I wouldn't meet for 3 more months.

And so it began.

I would forever live away from someone that I loved.

As a little girl, I hated this. I would walk through the airport on our way to board a plane back to our little tropcial island, holding my grandmothers's hand and say, "I don't want to go, Granny."

My heart would ache with every goodbye and rejoice in every hello. I learned quickly that when you are loved and love people around the world, one person's sadness at seeing you leave is another person's joy in holding you close.

And since I was born into this, you would think that I would be used to it by now.

I'm NOT!

And now it is that time again, time to move forward, time to make changes, time to say MORE goodbyes.

We are leaving South Africa.

In 3 weeks time, we will be packing up our things and flying back to Salisbury, MD, to pursue the next season of our lives.

What is that you would like to know? So would we.....HA!

We have been feeling the urging of the Holy Spirit for the past couple of months that our season here was over, but it was just so hard to get to that final decision.

But decide we have...after MUCH, MUCH prayer and trepidation.....

In 1999 our pastor at Oral Roberts University once told us that sometimes the Holy Spirit leads you as much from a lack of peace as a peace in situations. That is where we are now -- knowing it is TIME to go, but not QUITE knowing what is next.

So since we don't want to just jump into the next thing JUST to do "something," and we truly want to hear from God, we will be going back to Maryland and maybe to Haiti for a little while to hear clearly the leading of the Holy Spirit.

We realize that to many this will be a surprise and/or a shock. We realize that some may not understand or agree. We realize that some will be happy and some will be sad. And we realize that many of you will hold us up to our BIG DAD -- we hope that will be all of you....

Thus the strains of the bittersweet symphony sound again...

Will you consider joining with us in prayer ESPECIALLY during this transitional season that we will be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit, that we will ONLY do the Father's will, and that we will do the purpose for which we were created in the way HE has planned?

Proudly South African

Well, today, South Africa fought hard and strong and while it was an amazing win against France...the points were not enough to take us to the next round! But I wanted to SHOW you what the game was like in my house!

First Arno comes bursting into the house with HIS version of the "diski dance"....okay maybe not....but I was in such shock that I don't have pictures of that dance....but he effectively scared the kitties upstairs to the bedroom....he was wild! This was the closest that I got to recording his crazy excitement!






Throughout the game, I don't think he sat down longer than 2 minutes...INCLUDING half time! He was a PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN supporter the whole time!!












At the end, Arno was QUITE sad.....!!
And wanted some comfort!
Bafana, Bafana, we are proud of you!!! Way to fight hard and beat France!! We are still behind you 100%!!

The Morning After

So the morning after brings up all kinds of negative thoughts....and thoughts that you would NOT associate with my life....well, you would be right.

Today is the morning after the opening day of the World Cup here in South Africa. For anyone who doesn't know which sport I am talking about....like I would have probably had I not been living here....it is soccer.

Growing up in a country (Haiti) where soccer is the national sport, soccer has always been a part of my life and I played (with the boys usually) throughout my childhood. However watching the game was never really big on my list. I sort of just rejoiced if others did.

I have been hearing about the World Cup coming to South Africa in 2010 since I moved here in 2007. The government started building a new transportation system called the GauTrain for Johannesburg. The road works haven't stopped since we moved here. The hotels/B&Bs/motels and even private citizens homes were preparing to welcome guests. Businesses -- small & large -- furiously planned to received customers and revenue, of course! :)

Now I have realized the economic UP potential for South Africa due to so many nations coming here. To a country working to establish itself as a future 1st world leader, the World Cup coming here was an EXTREMELY positive event!

But I don't think I fully realized until yesterday, the full magnitude of what THIS World Cup has the potential to do in South Africa.

Driving from Pretoria to Johannesburg yesterday morning was quite an event. About 10 days ago, the cities finished decorating the highways with flags of all the nations participating that spanned miles/kilometers. That was already exciting....but yesterday a new excitement hit me. Hitting a bit of traffic where the highways merge, the cars began to slow down. That's when I heard the sound that is not only synonymous with soccer in South Africa, but with South Africa as a nation: THE VUVUZELAS.

So, not to be left out....of course!.....I pull out MY own vuvuzela, conveniently in the back seat and begin blowing out the window (oh, by the way, Arno was driving!). Other passengers in cars/taxis blowing their vuvuzelas smiled and waved to me....it was such an exciting feeling.

Now for any of you who do or have EVER lived in any city, you know that you do NOT, especially as a woman, just wave at strange men....but there was no hesitance in people's hearts or spirits......In that moment, that is when it hit me....the significance for this nation, for this season, for this time.....the unity of the people!


In 1995, when South Africa won the World Cup for Rugby, it changed the face of this nation and turned the tide from the potential civil war that most certainly would have been a reality.


Now the FIFA World Cup 2010, is bringing to the nation of South Africa a level of cross-cultural togetherness that will cause the world to stand up and take notice. In fact, I think one day, world leaders will come here to take NOTES....

In both situations, a sport seems to have brought this rather uncanny spirit of unity. Nelson Mandela said when questionned about his dogmatic support for rugby (a pre-dominately WHITE sport at that time) in 1994/1995 that this was not a political calculation but a HUMAN calculation.

I stand in awe of our God today. We often see things that are marked up to chance....but it doesn't matter WHO or WHAT situation brings the change in the natural, what we see with our eyes. I take Madiba's (Nelson Mandela) words one step farther -- THIS is a GOD calculation!!

He knows what He is doing....so watch out South Africa!! And, look out world.....the tides are shifting.....we are excited for what is coming!!

KE NAKO -- It's Time!!

Ayoba!