The Little Missionary Girl All Grown Up: friends

Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Sunday, December 30, 2012

20 Questions for 2012

20 Questions for End of the Year Reflections

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

We bought a house and then I fell in love with it, for this nomadic missionary kid that is quite a feat!

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

For the first time in three years, I actually had to think about this question because no obvious answer came to me right away. Such a beautiful miracle! I suppose the most challenging thing has been the journey of becoming certified to be foster parents. The paperwork and inspections and interviews are the EASY part. The part that I did not expect was the emotional and mental roller coaster that I would feel preparing to step into this. I am still scared silly!!

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

I had almost 6 months of the year where I had more "good" days than "bad" days with my health. I do not talk a lot about the chronic pain issues that I have here on the blog, but they do overshadow a lot of how I live my life, unfortunately, not by choice, so the fact that this has been the "best" year health wise in 3 years is just amazing!

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?

1) The EXTRA 3 months that it took to close on our short sale.

2) As mentioned above, the overwhelming emotions in processing what it would mean to be foster parents, to have the first children we would be "raising" for a time not be our "own."

5. Pick three words to describe 2012.

His Relentless Pursuit

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2012

(don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).

Healthier. Happier. More-like-yourself-again.

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2012 (again, without asking).

Chilled. Transforming. Revealing.

8. What were the best books you read this year?

Grace for the Good Girl is on my list again this year as I continued reading into 2012. I did quite a few fictional reviews this year, but my favorite of them all was Breath of Angel by Karen Henley.

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

Arno, my life-long friends {college & local}, my parents, my sister,

Blogging friends who are IRL friends, Libby and all my (in) This Season ladies

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

Finding the desire and passion and drive to dream again

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

I learned that I wait TOO long before I ask for help because it is so hard for me to ask so I am SLOWLY learning NOT to do this, even with those closest to me

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

The more I learn about how and who God wired me to be, the closer I feel to Him and His heart. The more I live the life HE created me for, the more I feel alive in my purpose on this earth.

That is the lesson that has come alive for me this year.

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

As mentioned above, I have seen significant improvement in my chronic pain issues this year. While I am not back to my "old" self yet, I am SO VERY thankful for the healing the Lord has/continues to do in my body!

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

As I am more fully embracing who I am, I am embracing that uniqueness in others around me. The past few years, GRACE has been like an anthem to me. I feel that the Lord is constantly teaching me not only to have grace for myself and my own story but for others and their journeys too.

15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

The flexibility and the variety of working various types of jobs

16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Finding the balance with how to manage my time the best, especially with the health limitations

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

Probably TV/Internet

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

Taking photography classes with my sister. Connecting with ladies at (in) This Season. Taking time to write more and more strategically. Connecting with others who have like-minded hearts and passions.

19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?

What I have learned the most goes along with my OneWord for 2012 :: Relentless. The Father has shown me that He is relentlessly pursuing my heart. He is relentless in seeing the dreams He has placed inside of me come true. He is relentless to heal me and to renew what the devil tried to steal. He is relentless so I do not always have to be. He IS on my behalf.

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2012 for you.

Weeping may come for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

Check out my 2010 Reflection Q & A.
Check out my 2011 Reflection Q & A.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Project 365 :: Day 294-306 {For Your Weekend}

Wrapping up basic photography class, a bloggers' conference,

Hurricane Sandy, and more!

Over 300 days and counting in my photography journey this year.....

Day 294 :: After church photo opp with my sis

Day 295 :: Practicing in photography class

Day 296 :: Blast from the past

Day 297 :: Last night of Photog Basics

with treats courtesy of one of my classmates
{Color Your Word :: Brown}

Day 298 :: Allume {blogging conference} Reunion

with some of my favorite bloggy chicks

Day 299 :: "You know you are at a blogging conference when...."

Day 300 :: All our amazing speakers!!

#TheyDontTakeThemselvesTooSeriously

Day 301 :: A quick photo session on my way

home from Allume

#LancasterPA

Day 302(1) :: Arno & Patches checking out the

beginning of Hurricane Sandy

Day 302(2) :: Arno mimicking the weather reporters

Not quite the same effect without tumbling waves

behind him, right?

But still funny!!

Day 303 :: A little after effect of Hurricane Sandy
{Color Your World :: Brown}

Day 304 :: A large branch fell off of my neighbors' tree

barely missing their house

Day 305 :: King of the Hill
{Color Your World :: Brown}

For those joining from
Still Saturday, Scripture and a Snapshot,
Fresh Brewed Sundays, Spiritual Sundays,
and the Sunday Community,

this Scripture, meaningful to me in my high school days, defines some lessons the Lord was teaching me at Allume this year.

Day 306 :: A sunset drive home

I'm on a journey, chronicling my life with a picture a day for a year. I am nearing the end of my journey and have consistently discovered the world around me in my day-to-day life in a uniquely different way as well as learned more about my DSLR to better capture those precious moments.

{Update: Currently taking a couple of photography classes
with my sister this fall 2012...very exciting!}

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

31 Days of Story {Day 31} Coming Full Circle

So I could not break out of this inner quiet.
The soulful melancholy.
Not for long anyway.
{Read part 1 of this story HERE}

I would push the little extrovert out from her covered shell.

For moments.

Here.

And there.

And it was fun.

Do not get me wrong.

But mostly I felt a little off my game
A little insecure.
A LOT weird.
Kinda overwhelmed.

Until Saturday morning.
When I woke up feeling a little more settled.
A little more like myself.
I reached out to a couple of people I had not bonded with yet that I really wanted to, and we had a group lunch gathering that was just a blessing.

Then I talked to The Nester.
And cried.
For no OBVIOUS reason.
I even laughed as I cried because I felt so silly.
But she was gracious.
And kind.

But that weird up and down feeling inside returned.

So.
I stuck with my friend.
And we ended up in a room
with a couple of other ladies.

And this moment happened.
When one shared her brokenness
Her pain.
Her heartache.
And my spirit was quickened.
Because
I knew that space.
That sorrow.
That desperation.

Jesus opened my mouth
And talked through my vocal chords.
And right there in the Hilton Harrisburg hotel room.
We wept together.

We prayed.
And cried for breakthrough.
And then we introduced ourselves.
And laughed.

Because I did not know her
And she did not know me.
But Jesus knew his girls.
He planned this moment.
He had prepared my heart all weekend to be PRESENT
Here.
Now.

Not because the other ladies could not have handled it.
They are amazing.
And pastors' wives to boot.
So they were all over it.
But because His plan
Was to use me.

I could not be the Life of the Party at Allume
AND the Girl Who Could Recognize The Darkness
All in the same weekend.

Not this time.
It was not His plan.

There are seasons of LOUD
And seasons of QUIET
The quiet is not so easy for the extrovert

So I had to be pressed into THAT moment
And forcibly accepted my assignment for the weekend
even though it was lonely
even later
AGAIN.
When I found myself detached.

But then from that space.
I made two more heart connections, maybe even three, as the weekend progressed.
Right when I would feel sad and lonely and overwhelmed,
God would place me in the path of someone else
who needed that whispered attachment too.

I was coming full circle, back to the quiet little soul that had been birthed on the shores of the Caribbean Sea, back to the analytical calculations of this third-culture kid trying to understand the meaning of "belonging" and "time" and "goodbye", back to the deepest, truest, purest place where Jesus met this little missionary girl as salty breezes christened her tongue and mountain peaks eclipsed her vision, back where deep calls out to the fathomless deep, where my heart finds rest in a Secret Place called Home, in the shelter of His wings.

It was not the conference I planned in my subconscious little extroverted brain,
But it was the conference that HE planned.

Better than I could have imagined.

***

The past 31 days have been a journey in learning to tell my story.
It has been good.
And hard.

Some days I did not want to write.
A lot of days actually.
Sharing your story is vulnerable.
You give a piece of yourself away.
And it is scary.

What if no one reads?
What if no one cares?
What if I cannot do it justice with my written words?

But I wrote on anyway.
Because I knew that I must.
It was time.

I learned.
I grew.
I changed.
I am the better for it.

I hope you have enjoyed this journey with me. And if this is the first day that you are reading, I invite you to go back to the beginning and grow up along with me {quite literally actually!}.

This concludes 31 Days of Story.
But not the story itself.
Stay tuned.

With Jesus,
The best is ALWAYS yet to come.
You can bet the bank on that.

Want to read the entire 31 days of story?

Click here to see a list of all of the posts, updated daily.

If you do not want to miss even ONE day, please subscribe

at the top of this post by entering your email address.

Also linking with Jennifer, Mary Beth, Ann, and Duane
and the encouraging communities they have created here on the web.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

31 Days of Story {Day 23} When you realize that He's got you

Making decisions, especially BIG, life-changing ones, has always been hard for me.
Terrifying.
Dramatic.
Traumatic, even.

"What if I make the WRONG choice?"
"Maybe my plans will mess everything up..."
"This decision could change the ENTIRE COURSE OF MY LIFE."
"How can I be trusted with this amendment of EPIC proportions?"

Senior year was no exception.
Colleges.
Road trips.
Transcripts.
Applications.
Essays.
Financial Aid.
Scholarships.

Moving. Away. From. Home.
AGAIN.

Finally I landed on Oral Roberts University after painful, tear-filled grappling with my own inner voice of confusion.

In August of 1996, we packed up a 15-passenger van filled with boxes and things-that-make-a-dorm-life-liveable and travelled the 1,300 miles across the country from East Coast, USA to Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Somewhere around Ohio, I felt panic set in.

"Mom, how do we know this is the right decision? What if this is the wrong one? How are we going to pay for this? I didn't get that BIG scholarship we were counting on! I do not know if I should....if I CAN do this."

And my ever-practical mom, with infinite wisdom and experience at handling her dramatic, artistically, temperamental daughter AND having already kindly and mercifully fielded MANY such panic attacks ALL SUMMER LONG, said, "Well .... you are going for one semester now at least. We are halfway there."

And with that, I moved on to Claudius 6.
On the day the elevator broke.
Or at least was slower than the building of the Ark.
After my mom had sprained her ankle less than 24 hours before.

Dad, Sis, and I unpacked the entire 15-passenger van and hand-carried every bit of my belongings up six flights of stairs while my mom unpacked and began to make my room homey.

Oh, I remember those nerves, climbing the stairs, feeling every bit of the missionary kid that I WAS, running into to other students and parents in the hallways, awkwardly making connections, hoping I was not the only one who felt so ridiculous and stupid and embarrassed.

"God, what am I doing here? I do not belong here. I will never fit in. I am just a little missionary girl. People will never 'get' me. I will stand out like a sore thumb. FOUR YEARS?!? There is just NO way. I don't even know if I can do ONE semester."

And then I met her.
Doing her job in the succinct, precise way that I would come to know... and love.
My RA.

Bloodine.

The ONLY Haitian resident advisor on the entire campus.

Yes.
That's right.
Did you catch that?

THE.
ENTIRE.
CAMPUS.

Crazy, right?

I mean...what?!?!

And suddenly, I knew.
She was my fleece.
My gift.
My olive branch.
My reminder from Jesus.

"I've got you, baby girl. This whole deal is NOT random. I have planned every detail."

She became a lifeline to me in that year.
Her background.
Her major.
Her direct way of telling me what I needed to hear.
Her patience in listening to my NEVER-ending inner sagas.

I do not know WHAT I was worried about.

"When you move to the right or the left,

you will hear a voice in your ear saying,

'This is the way...walk in it.'"

Isaiah 30:22

Want to read the entire 31 days of story?

Click here to see a list of all of the posts, updated daily.

If you do not want to miss even ONE day, please subscribe

at the top of this post by entering your email address.

Also....joining Heather at Just Write.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Project 365 :: Day 282 - 293

So the past couple of weeks have been filled with photography classes, several overnight trips, college bestie hangout time, and beautiful "normal" moments of life in between.

On the home stretch...thank you for sharing this journey with me....