Must Love God :: The Scarlet Thread

I am so excited, thrilled, ecstatic, ENTHUSIASTICALLY ready to share with you one of the beautiful new doors God has opened this year.


Must Love God is a brand new space where women can share their hurts, struggles, weaknesses, and brokenness together, as we learn daily to drink deeply from the living well. This site is meant to be a home away from home where you can bring your dirty "laundry", throw it in with ours, and we will wash together.

No judgments. No staring. No finger-pointing.

Just living water.

Changing water.

Life-giving water.

To this broken girl, in desperate need of His daily grace, on a relentless journey to stay submerged in His heart, I was SO IN to being a part of that.

So I am getting to write there today! Yay!

Won't you come on over and not only read my post, but stay there for awhile and meet some of the other REAL LIFE, BROKEN YET REDEEMED women?

Check out the forum where you can openly share your heart in a safe place and find others who struggle with the same things -- emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual -- or at least FEEL the same desperation.

A friend in college used to say, "Different circumstance; same emotions."

You are not alone.
Together.
We find our purpose in His love.

#MustLoveGod

So what are you waiting for? Let's go there together......shall we??

Coming Home

Walking through the sea of faces in the crowded airport luggage claim, I search for that familiar face, one that reminds me of laughter and Gilmore Girls, deep talks and code names, late night antics and long distance phone conversations into the wee hours.

And suddenly there she is. I would know her anywhere. This friend of my heart, kindred spirit for many a year now.

We hug. We smile. We set off on our weekend of adventure and mirth.

We travel to the top of the world.

We set off on our own personal dragon.

We rely on our new chauffeur - GeePerS - to guide us through highways and city streets.

We re-live the atrocities of war, hate, & violence through the eyes of the 6 million souls silenced less than a century ago.

We meet Lincoln, Washington, and host of long ago quiet voices that shaped this great nation.

We sweeten our palate with delectable treats from the sisters.

We watch Raising Hope, Once Upon A Time, and The Imaginarum of Doctor Parnassus; eat peanut butter crackers, Fruit by the Foot, sweet and salty bars; and GeePerS our way to two different Wal*Marts two nights in a row.

But mostly, we laugh.

And laugh.

And laugh.

From the most mundane to the deepest secrets, nothing is off limits, nothing is left unspoken.

Being with a girlfriend, a best friend can make you feel -- safe, loved, accepted, understood.

Kind of like coming home.

Five Minute Friday: Unexpected

Have I mentioned how much I love The Gypsy Mama?

She is from my husband's homeland and understands what it feels like to live in places outside of the country of your birth.

She is a word weaver, and I adore the way she paints a picture using those beautiful colors. I got to meet her and share heart morsels with her at Relevant, and that was pretty fabulous!

Five Minute Friday has long been my favorite writing party, and it is even MORE special now that I not only met Lisa-Jo, but also so many super cool ladies who link up there! It is a pretty special place, and if you haven't visited, you SO should.

So on with the 5 minutes....

Today's topic is......UNEXPECTED {heehee}

GO.

When I began my 31 day journey last month, I wasn't sure what would happen what I would discover. I only knew that I HAD to do it. I had to write. I had to {RE}discover. I had to know that there was MORE to this journey than "just because". I wanted to find the purpose or at least A purpose.

I could never have imagined that 25 days later, I would be living a dream -- to rub shoulders with writers, dreamers, artists who are also Godly, compassionate, loving women, wanting to change the world, THEIR world with the gift and talents that God gave them -- their words.

To pour out one's heart and brokenness on paper or screen, with fear & trepidation that actually defines strength and character is not something that I comes easy, and yet in this beautiful place, we call Relevant, there were many of these brave & mighty warriors.

I didn't know when I started rediscovering that I would find women after my own heart.
Women after His heart.
So beautiful.
So awesome.
So broken.
So like me.

STOP.

The Journey of Being Found

"The best part of hiding is being found."

~Emily Freeman

Hi. My name is Lindsey

And I'm a good girl.

{Hi, Lindsey}

A little over 6 months ago, I stumbled across this blog post by Emily Freeman talking about her book to be released in September. I had "discovered" her amazing writing voice a month or two before when she discussed the art inside of us, living it, breathing it, and much more.

Well, then there was this crazy amazing post that she wrote for (in)courage, which was the first post where I ever cried, and it just rocked my world!

But when I listened to this video and how she talked about letting go of the life where you try SO HARD to get it "right" and just cannot seem to make it happen, my heart leapt with the satisfaction of FINALLY being understood. I wanted to shout at my computer screen, "You get me! You get me!"

I even wrote a post about it a couple months later, how God is taking me from being good to being graced.

But I had yet to read her grace-filled words in the book package of Grace for the Good Girl until now....and since Christina suggested we read and link up posts together from what we learn, I thought it would be a good idea to get over any "good girl" qualities left in there by being open and free to share here....with you! And while overcoming "the good girl" will probably be a life long goal, being honest with my journey is MORE than half the battle, right?

Being a good girl does not look the same for every woman. You may have grown up in the church and always done the right thing, or you might have been the rebellious teenager in youth group that made the leaders quake with fear, speculating as to what trouble you might be into next. You might have only discovered Jesus when you were a grown up and now spend your days trying SO desperately to make up for lost time by being a good girl in every way possible.

For me, being the good girl, looked like loving Jesus from the time I was a little itty bity girl. I only knew life with Jesus. I really cannot remember before that. I always wanted so desperately to please Him in every area and to be a "good" Christian girl. I think maybe that is because people applauded and patted you on the back. Words are my love language, so I lapped them up like a love-starved puppy, feeling "good" about myself and thinking that my value was found there.

Emily connects it to wearing a mask:

"Life behind a mask may feel right and may even be fun for a short time. After a while, though, recycled air become stale and the effort it takes to continue trying to be someone you aren't become a burden rather than a game. Only in returning home, taking off the mask, and being you again will you find relief."

Coming home to the Father, to my Heavenly Daddy, basking in the knowledge of His love, reminding myself of it over and over again, realizing that it was real for me no matter how I performed or looked or acted became the new processes in which my mind had to work through.

But it didn't come easy.

It still doesn't.

"I want to let go, rest, and believe, so that he can hold, refresh, and redeem. But what if I do and he doesn't? To read between the lines of faith is to see Jesus. But reading between the lines takes work and invisible trust and the disregard of feeling.

I feel fear.....even for those to whom truth has been revealed, fear can be a loud and abusive motivator.

Fear drives

But Love leads."

I was working so hard to be a good girl, to be obedient, to be humble, to be submissive that I forgot to be truly authentic. Even though I prided myself with being REAL, I was lying to myself while telling everyone else the truth for THEIR lives.

"Maybe you are hiding from your dreams because to face them would mean admitting they are there. And to admit that they are there would mean you aren't living them after all."

This journey of grace

of discovery

of being found BY HIM

of living the life HE destined

stirs in the innermost being the desire to be....

"....A true you. An authentic, accurate expression of himself. A woman who is more than just a watered-down version of good."

Question from Emily:

Do you agree that that the best part of hiding is being found? Why or why not?

{RE}discovering Him :: Day 30 - The Disappointing

It hit me like a sucker punch.

"Your writing is not good enough.

What made you think you belonged here?

You are not a writer. You're just a poser."

I gasped for air, barely able to find enough oxygen to take my next breath
A plethora of emotions flooded my mind, my heart, my soul, my being.

Just moments before, I found myself thrilled, delighted even, to share my 5 minute memory with this group of blossoming writers. But as I listened to their words, flowing beautiful and free, running softly & delicately over the recesses of the mind and heart, provoking memories from my own senses in the way they wove their words, I found my own story falling flat. The voices around me, sharing and encouraging, uplifting and loving, grew quieter and quieter, and his voice - the one whose purpose is for me to fail - loomed large in my head, booming with its intensity and rhythm.


I slowly tilted the screen, slightly more with each passing moment, until it closed with that tiny click of finality, building a wall around me so no one would ask me to share my once happy memory.

Aching with physical ailing, mental fatigue, & emotional heart break, I stumbled through the next few hours, wanting to hide, to run, to bury myself away from these amazing women.

Time, space, rest, and then these words became a balm to my aching soul....

"God appoints people who disappoint to point

to a God who DOES NOT disappoint."

She said the Farmer told her these words when she was ready to quit, to back out, to hide because....who am I? What do I have to say?

The Enemy hates when we find our "true voice", when we find the place where passion & skills intersect, where we find His pleasure. And he is so angry at the potential that lies there that he will do absolutely anything to stop us dead in our tracks, paralyzed by fear or pride or comparison or failure or missing the mark totally.

Her words reminded me....we need to make thunder....because thunder reminds others that the rain is coming....He is the rain, come to heal, to refresh, to bring forth new life.

{RE}discovery :: I may disappoint - myself, others....but never Him.

Why?

Because He holds my heart in the palm of His great, big hand, ready, willing, waiting for me to declare His majesty through my frailty, through my brokenness -- pointing others to His love, His grace, His sacrifice for.....US!

#MakeTHUNDERsistas

Source

Previous - Day 29 :: The Becoming

Next - Day 31 :: The Pursuit

{RE}discovering Him :: Day 20 - The Value

I had a great night tonight meeting new friends and getting reacquainted with old ones.

My cup runneth over.....

I have been {RE}learning a lot about personalities and how they affect relationships

{thanks to another new friend -- love you, Kamille}.

And I will probably write more on that before this series is over, but for today, because I am a bit tired from the spending of words tonight, I am going to share others' words that make me remember what I love about friendships, meeting people, connecting

....and well...you get the idea!

Enjoy!

I know I did!!

{RE}discovery :: The value that friendships add to our lives cannot be put into words. They challenge us. They teach us. They stretch us. They encourage us. They show us HIS heart, another aspect of His nature lies in each person. I think that is pretty beautiful, don't you?

Previous - Day 19 :: The I Am

These Are The Women....

Last August, on Women's Day in South Africa, I highlighted some of the amazing women who have touched my life over the years. You can read about that HERE. I love these women!

Today, in honor of International Women's Day, I wanted to highlight/feature/honor the women who impact/encourage/challenge me in this new world I joined almost one year ago - the blogosphere. I, actually, read every post that these women write...even if I miss it the day of the post, I always go back and catch up!

These are the women....

These are a snapshot of their stories....

{in no particular order}

Jen @ I Believe In Love

Jen and her husband have been on a sabbatical from the mission field for the past year and are currently living in Texas. We met because of our connection to South Africa and because of making mutual HARD decisions to take that time away. Her blog is filled with recipes, photos, book reviews, mama related topics and REAL open heart posts. She is getting to go to India in just a few short weeks to take pictures with a ministry close to her heart. I am proud to call Jen...a friend...and look forward to the day when we will meet face-to-face.

Stephanie @ Metropolitan Mama

In Stephanie, I have TRULY found a kindred spirit. We are at different places in life, but at the same place in heart. Steph & her beloved husband, Tim, are traveling all across the country with their two little girls to Give Every Day. They are both jacks-of-all-trades so the content of her personal blog as well as their Give Every Day blog are filled with variety and fun. What I love about both blogs is that they are short, sweet, to-the-point BUT content-packed, fun-filled, and personal. My favorite thing about Steph though, is her heart towards people. She has a lot of accolades in the blog world, but she REALLY takes time to answer every tweet, comment, etc. She really cares. REALLY. I can't wait to meet in person. I have a feeling that our husbands will have to MAKE us stop talking! ;)

Holley @ Heart-to-Heart With Holley

Holley is who I want to be when I grow up {next to my mommy, of course ;)}. She is an author, a blogger, a counselor, a DaySpring card writer, and so much more. Holley and her husband have also been TTC {trying to conceive} for a number of years. Her posts are SO real and SO encouraging. She speaks in a way that you can just picture her looking you in your eyes and reminding you of Jesus' words over you. She is LITERALLY His mouthpiece in such a REAL way. Her words are like a healing balm to a hurting soul. She is the kind of person you can imagine yourself letting down your guard with and crying on her shoulder.

Lisa-Jo @ The Gypsy Mama

Lisa-Jo is, well, SO MUCH FUN! Lisa-Jo is a South African, married to an American. {Sounds a little familiar, right? Well, sort of!} She writes about kids, travel, women, homesickness, family, and much more. Her writing style is one of my VERY FAVS. She visually makes a point in the way she writes -- the perfect combination of poetry and prose. She has two little boys that she adores and is getting ready to welcome her little girl into the world. She is the social media manager for DaySpring and the community manager for (in)courage. She is a #MUSTFOLLOW on Twitter - @thegypsymama. Just check her out...you'll see why and won't be sorry.

Anna @ Anna's Joy

Anna is a "real life" friend as well as a blogger friend. She and her husband, John, just welcomed baby Ayla into their lives after TTC for 3 years. Anna and I met at ORU, and she became an integral part of my story through her job in the chaplain's department. She "talked me up" to the women's pastor, and the next 3 years I had the opportunity to lead and to empower other young women on campus. I am forever grateful to her for her role in my story. Her blog is full of fun and variety. She pulls the ironic out of life and is lots of fun to dive into!

Paige @ Becoming Paige

Paige is another "real life" friend. We ALSO met at ORU. Paige is one of those people that just oozes kindness and compassion. When you meet her in "real" life you will see this about her, but you will also find this on her blog. Paige is a missions pastor in Texas as well as mentor to a number of college-aged girls. Her favorite people are her husband, Josh, and her sweet Selah, who just turned one. Paige's blog is filled with musings on motherhood, missions, & miscellaneous adventures. She is a TRUE story teller, and you don't want to miss her weekly blasts-from-the-past!!

Tara @ The Livesay [Haiti] Weblog

Tara is truly the whole reason that I decided to start a blog in the first place. She took her life and documented it on virtual pages filled with stories, prayers, hard stuff, fun stuff, photos, Scriptures, life lessons, and just plain raw Tara. Her & her husband, Troy's, legacy is captured in this blog for their 7....yes, 7....children to cherish for years to come. Tara and her family are missionaries to my beloved Haiti, and the while the way we met was not a pleasant one {earthquake in Haiti 2010}, the connections we have made in the past year have been so poignant in my life. I look forward to actually "seeing" them face-to-face one day. I mean how many people are willing to go search and rescue for someone else's parents when they don't even know you?? Their "presence" on the internet & in my life during that season will not be quickly forgotten.

I hope that you will stop by some or ALL of their pages. I just KNOW that you will be blessed as much as I have been.

Happy International Women's Day to ALL of you

beautiful women out there!

Five Minute Friday: The Power of a Woman

It's Friday! A time to take 5 minutes -- just 5 -- to write out a topic, an idea on my heart and mind. Writing without excessive editing or analyzation to see what comes freely, flowing from the heart and from the soul....

Today's prompt over at Gypsy Mama is The Women.


So here goes....

Ready....

GO.

When I think about the women in my life, I can't help but feel INFINITELY blessed -- my mom, my sister, my grandmothers, my aunts, my girlfriends across the globe. I think about how they have shaped me, how they have blessed me, how they have sharpened me....

How do I put in words (let alone 5 minutes) the power that a woman holds in her touch, her words, her eyes....the power to heal or to hurt, the power to shame or to encourage, the power to shun or to listen....?

So what kind of a woman will I be? Can I be counted among the ranks of these precious souls who have unselfishly poured their very beings into mine?

I remember this song...."Like oil upon your feet...like wine for you to drink....like water from my heart....I pour my love on You...." ~Jonathan Stockstill

And I remember....

To wleld the power of a woman in an inspiring and beautiful way....I have to pour my life at the feet of the Master...there I find rest, joy, peace, renewal....there I am what He made me....WOMAN....fearfully and wonderfully....WOMAN....hand-crafted and fashioned...WOMAN!

STOP.
Join me today at The Gypsy Mama and Serenity Now.

Click over here to read my post honoring specific women who have touched my life.

Joining the Gratitude Community....Multitude Monday (#1-15)

Gratitude - a feeling of thankfulness or appreciation, as for gifts or favours;
the state of feeling grateful

I have decided to join The Gratitude Community (Click on the link to find out more information) --a place to be inspired by others and what God is doing in their lives, a chance to share my own journey of gratitude, and an opportunity to REMEMBER to be grateful in ALL things. Even if you don't blog, you can join the gratitude community to help in creating a more thankful, joyous world. So every Monday, I will add to my list of 1000 gifts of all the graces God has provided in my life.

1. Finding a community of people committing to sharing and walking in thankfulness

2. Living life daily with my best friend -- my husband

3. The lady in my home cell who brings home made snacks every week "just because" she wants to (without being asked)

4. Other sweet ladies who clean my kitchen before they leave...also without me asking

5. Morris, my kitty, curling up next to me while I share my gifts

6. Daily revelations from the Father -- just what I need for the day

7. Being encouraged my other women's journeys around the world via blogging

8. Coke Zero (an excellent alternative to Coke -- made the switch almost 8 months ago)

9. My snuggly green blanket

10. Inspirational quotes - “Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all.” - Emily Dickenson

11. A heart-warming SMS/Text from a girlfriend

12. Discovery that I REALLY like biltong (South African jerky...well, sort of)

13. Worshipping God with other followers of Jesus

14. Knowing I am loved by the Father

15. Choices -- scary, but freeing too

30 Days of Hope: Day 26 - Happy Women's Day

(Warning: Lots of pictures to follow)
Today in South Africa, it is Women's Day -- a day to celebrate the impact that women have made in homes, in the work place, in arts, in science, in culture, in the world.

When God created woman, He did so differently than He did man.....

Genesis 2:21-22
So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

Immediately Adam rejoiced in the beauty of the gift that God had given to him....

Genesis 2:23
“At last!” the man exclaimed.
“This one is bone from my bone,
and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
because she was taken from ‘man.’”

There are so many beautiful and amazing women that God has placed in my life and I would like to honor them for the hope that they have instilled inside of me..

My mom - strongest woman I know

My mom-in-law - one of the MOST compassionate hearts ever

My sister, Kasi - the girl you WANT in your corner; will defend you to the death

Aunt Bonnie, Aunt Paula, & Granny - have ALWAYS been there no matter what I needed -- birthday parties, wedding planning, graduation celebration, hugs, love, laughter, etc.

My Mom Mom - taught me to keep my head up high & to be proud of who I am

Pastor Charne - who taught me to be the strong ME and not apologize for it & the 3C G12 ladies - who are a team of warrior princesses that I have been blessed to learn from

And some of my best girlfriends without whom my life would not be the same...

I love you ladies (& many more not pictured)!! My life holds more value from the lessons I have learned from your presence in my life.

Happy Women's Day!!