Maybe Hope

Today has been a melancholy day.

I sort of woke up that way.
I may have gone to sleep with those feelings last night, but tiredness reigned and the morning dawned with a sadness in my soul, even as I swept the cobwebs from my sleepy brain.

For the momma who may lose custody of all five of her children due to extended incarceration.
For those young hearts and minds who WILL find a forever home, but at a deeply emotional cost.
For the boy whose past has been a whirlwind and finds himself in trouble...AGAIN...today at school.
For my own body, aching intensely for the third morning in a row.
For the vulnerability that my heart feels when my physical weaknesses are exposed to new ears and I wonder, "Do they really understand?"
For the feelings of trepidation that making new friends and wondering if I can really be myself brings.
For the future of my granny, her care, and how that affects my mom, my whole family.
For a hundred things that my mind and my heart and my soul cannot grasp and contain.

I know that tears are just brimming below the surface and they are felt more deeply than words can truly capture. Although I have shared reasons and potential whys, the deep that cries out to deep senses that I have only scratched the surface of this gloomy reverie.

So here I sit, in my favorite cafe, writing out my heart....squeezed in the minutes between going here and there to purge the recesses of my soul believing for resolution, absolution, or maybe just peace in the convolution.

Maybe the brokenness in my own soul is making me more aware and alive and in tune to the cries of the downtrodden.

Maybe the weakness in me today is necessary to move forward in this haphazardly beautiful journey like Much-Afraid in her pilgrimage of "becoming."

Maybe my heart's tenderness is causing me to smell deep as I walk out my door and pause to remember, "Spring is coming...it's almost here...don't give up....wait a little longer."

Maybe...just maybe....
Hope is here.
Hope is alive.
Hope will come again.

Project 365:: Week 15

I am truly enjoying this photographic journey. I am challenged to try to gain more skills and knowledge, and I hope to take some classes soon. In spite of all the free online insight, I am much more of a hands-on girl in my learning experiences. But I hope you are enjoying the art that I am creating along this pilgrimage, and I am enjoying sharing my daily life here with you!

Join me this week for house chaos & triumph, spring delights, and time in chill town....

Day 99 :: Last day of recovery from the yucky flu.

Morris was a very constant companion.

Day 100 :: The beauty of spring at sunset

Day 101 :: Arno and I on a little sunset "constitutional"

Day 102 :: Continuing to pack in faith...just two more days til closing

{crossing our fingers}

Day 103 :: I love the shadow and light here in this

view from my window

Day 104 :: We finally signed for our house, 5 months after the initial offer.

Our agent Sarah showed us dozens of houses

for a year before that so I think she might have been just

as excited as we are! Oh, happy day!

Day 105 :: Tired from all the anticipation of the week

as well as a night of cleaning

I'm on a journey to chronicle my life with a picture a day for a year. I hope to discover the world around me in my day-to-day life in a uniquely different way as well as learn more about my DSLR to better capture those precious moments. Linking up with my friend Paige and others who are taking this challenge too.

Project 365 :: Weeks 13 & 14

Day 85 :: My favorite flower and signs of spring

Day 86 :: This is how I spent my weekend,

working on mailing the Save the Date

for Evangelistic World Outreach's Summer Gala

40 Years, Baby!!

Day 87 :: Indoor Water Play

Day 88 :: More of my favorite flower {tulips} from my sister's garden

Day 89 :: Visiting my love at his work

Day 90 :: Tired :(

Day 92 :: Spent the weekend sick and hibernating.

I even forgot to take a picture on Saturday (Day 91)

The kitties enjoyed the extra snuggles.

Day 93(1) :: NEW purple tights. I'm kind of in love.

Day 93(2):: Arno pumping up his new kite for the first time.

Day 94 :: Time to get my hair done...I LOVE going to the salon

Day 95 :: Straightening out the lines...

this kite boarding is some serious business

Day 96 :: I have a bit of a love affair with the moonlight....

Day 97 :: A little present from incourage for (in)RL -- YAY!

Day 98 :: A few of the aids to help me get on the mend

I'm on a journey to chronicle my life with a picture a day for a year. I hope to discover the world around me in my day-to-day life in a uniquely different way as well as learn more about my DSLR to better capture those precious moments. Linking up with my friend Paige and others who are taking this challenge too.

Embracing the Merriment of May

"The world's favorite season is the spring.

All things seem possible in May."

- Edwin Way Teale

"You are as welcome as the flowers in May."

- Charles Macklin

"What is so sweet and dear

As a prosperous morn in May,

The confident prime of the day,

And the dauntless youth of the year,

When nothing that asks for bliss,

Asking aright, is denied,

And half of the world a bridegroom is,

And half of the world a bride?"

- William Watson, Ode in May, 1880

"Oh! that we two were Maying

Down the stream of the soft spring breeze;

Like children with violets playing,

In the shade of the whispering trees."

- Charles Kingsley

"The trees are coming into leaf
Like something almost being said;
The recent buds relax and spread,
Their greenness is a kind of grief.

Is it that they are born again
And we grow old? No, they die too,
Their yearly trick of looking new
Is written down in rings of grain.

Yet still the unresting castles thresh

In fullgrown thickness every May.

Last year is dead, they seem to say,

Begin afresh, afresh, afresh."

- Philip Larkin, The Trees

A Year of Winter

It has been one year since I have seen spring.

One year of fall, winter, and then, fall and winter again {due to our hemispheric move at the time when spring would have begun in South Africa}.

While autumn is my favorite season, it IS a season of dying, albeit brilliant, yet it still leads to death.

So to go through back-to-back "dying & death" seasons physically and metaphorically, spring, this year, holds more excitement, meaning, and purpose than ever before.

But maybe not for the reasons that I hoped it would be....announcing an addition to our family. While that isn't the promise of THIS spring, IT DOES hold lots of promise.

How do I know this?

As we commemorate Jesus being risen from the grave almost 2,000 years ago today, I was reminded of how through His death, LIFE came -- physically in His body, but in an even greater way, spiritually in US!

My cats lived in Africa with us and so were also a part of this seasonal anomaly that was our reality, and today they lavished in the warmth and sunshine.

Morris didn't even want to come in all day...literally!

As I sat outside with them, I pondered the "season" we have been through, the miles we have traveled, the stresses we have weathered....And while I certainly don't have all the answers for this current season or the ones to come......I thanked God for spring, for resurrection, for new life, for redemption {my OneWord for this year, by the way}.

Billy Graham once said, "I don't know what the future holds, but I know WHO holds the future."

And really with the future in HIS hands, what more can I ask for, right? Hahaha!

Oh, Lord, I trust in you. I know that my future is in Your hands. I know that You have THE ABSOLUTE BEST for me. I know that Your love for me knows no bounds. And yet, I know that my will falters, my heart fails, and my worries of the future get the best of me sometimes, so TODAY....AGAIN....I accept, I receive, I embrace Your AWESOME grace. And I commit to put my trust in You daily as you pour out your new mercies each morning. Thanks! You're the Best!

Wordless Wednesday: SPRING!

Linked up with Wordless Wednesday and Live and Love Out Loud

Spring is Coming!!

A week ago, this was the scene outside of my house......

And today was 67 degrees.....

Spring is coming!!

{My Valentine's Day present from Arno - Tulips - my favorite flower}

Multitude Monday - #35-42

Gratitude - a feeling of thankfulness or appreciation, as for gifts or favours;
the state of feeling grateful

~35. Change - although I hate change, I am thankful because it causes me to cling to the Father more

~36. Ability to be able to GIVE because of the change

~37. Learning to lay down the idols in my life

~38. Freshly cut flowers gracing my home



~39. Change in weather -- loving the smell of spring in South Africa

~40. The smell of freshly varnished wood (reminding me of my childhood)


~41. Receiving and giving love even in "good-byes"


~42. People who touch our lives -- for seasons, for reasons, or for a lifetime


I have joined The Gratitude Community -- a place to be inspired by others and what God is doing in their lives, a chance to share my own journey of gratitude, and an opportunity to REMEMBER to be grateful in ALL things. So every Monday, I will add to my list of 1000 gifts of all the graces God has provided in my life. Would you consider joining me? Even if you don't blog, you can join the gratitude community by starting a gratitude journal, mentionning your gifts on Facebook, or sending e-mails to your friends. Let's work together to help in creating a more thankful, joyous world.