I Know Your Pain

I know your pain.

You just received ANOTHER wedding invitation and you dread the RSVP -- Number attending __1__.

You go out with your group of friends and you wonder, "Will I be the 3rd, 5th, 11th wheel.....AGAIN???

You hear a woman complain about her husband's dirty shoes or dishes and you think, "At least you have someone to hold you before you go to sleep tonight....", but you say nothing...you DON'T want the pity!

You wonder how to survive in a world that seems focused on couples, marriage, & relationships.

You wonder how to function even in the Body of Christ that preaches and teaches FAMILY as the MOST important, primary, and basic institution that God has established.

I know your pain.

You see, I, too, have been there. I know what it feels like to cry yourself to sleep and wonder, "Father, have you forgotten about me? I have tried so hard to wait on Your time, Your plan, Your purpose? Am I still not good enough? When will someone love ME?"

I feel embarrassment in my questioning, yet I know that He holds my fragile heart and catches my tears....and then I hear Him whisper to me...."Remember the cross..."

"Father, why have you forsaken Me?" - Jesus

Jesus spoke those words? He was human? Like me? He was real. He was raw. He felt heartbreak. He felt pain.

He felt MY pain. HE KNOWS MORE PAIN. He not only holds my heart and catches my tears, but HE walked a mile in MY shoes and farther and farther and farther until every pain I would faced was walked out. NOW, He is prepared to walk the distance with me, to comfort me, to pick me up, to prod me forward, to challenge, and to encourage because HE KNOWS.

HE KNOWS!!

HE KNOWS YOUR PAIN!

And as I now feel another, deeper, harsher, more ravaging pain (for me personally) -- a greater longing, a chasm filled with unfilled promises -- MOTHERHOOD.

I remember. He reminds me.

"I have walked miles farther so your path would be lighter and your burden would be easy....REST, my child.....REST...."


"I KNOW YOUR PAIN."

How to Stay Young

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

- John Barrymore

{Wow! That challenges me!}

Just For Fun!! (Appreciating Nature)

What a GREAT and SUPER FUNNY way to appreciate God's Creation!!

Transformed

Mom & Dad left for Haiti today. They traded in their gala attire.....



....for their "regular" missionary clothes....


and I think they rather like their "normal"!

With Love, Haiti Gala 2011

In honor of our first annual With Love, Haiti gala event, here are a few words of reminiscence....

....from Evangelistic World Outreach (Facebook page)....

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Hahahahaa.....as if we didn't tire you out with those two words last night! What a FABULOUS night at With Love, Haiti gala event!! Thank you WHOLEHEARTEDLY to the many of you who have prayed, labored, served, given, donated, and loved, loved, loved! Haiti is FULL of lives that have been changed by YOU!!

WHAT A BLESSING!!"

....and from the friends & supporters of EWO....

What a wonderful night so thankful for the people that God is using to help rebuild EWO.

~Bonnie Townsend

Wonderful evening! You did a great job! Looking forward to the next one!

~Laurie Bireley

A Beautiful Night, with Beautiful People, for a Beautiful Cause....HAITI!!! All for the Children! We are honored to be a part of what God is doing through Bev and Tom in Haiti!!!

~Melanie Devine Gladden

....and from my family....

Celebrating life and love on the one year anniversary of such devastation was made more precious by the people that surrounded me! Grateful for all those who were able to be there and have supported my family throughout the past year! Words can never express my thanks to the hearts of those who continue to walk along side my family

through this unexpected life journey!

~Kasi Lyndaker (my sis)

Wow, we feel so blessed tonight! Thank you, friends and family for standing together with us at EWO in Haiti. We enjoyed! so much connecting with so many of you at the Gala....

"With Love, Haiti"!!

~Bev Brumbley (my mom)

....and from me....

Oh my word! What a GLORIOUS night! Ha! Thanks to all of you who donated, attended, participated, volunteered, & prayed for the @With Love, Haiti gala event! It was awesome & fun while precious & powerful all at the same time! Thank you, Lord, for your continuous work in & through people to bless those on a little island not so far away!!

I See Their Faces....

I was going through my foreign country souvenirs today as I helped to prepare for the 1st annual gala event that my family is hosting for their organization, Evangelistic World Outreach. We are holding this event on the anniversary of the earthquake one year ago to continue to help with rebuilding the rubble...turning the ashes into a thing of greater beauty.

As I was looking through my souvenirs, I could remember exactly where each one came from -- the photo album from Thailand, the leather mirror from Columbia, the wicker purse from the Philippines, the monkey balls from South Africa, the hand carved pencil from Malaysia, the $40 guitar from India, and my beloved, Haiti -- paintings, shells, tap-tap (public transportation), hand painted boxes, etc.

I was in awe of the fact that in spite of the struggle with my health this past year that has also affected my memory at times, I could clearly remember almost every item numbering in the dozens from these precious countries. It excited me and amazed me!

And I realized why....the souvenirs represent the faces to me -- the faces of the children laughing, the faces of the mothers weeping, the faces of the fathers softening to the words of Jesus, the faces of God's beautiful people around the globe.

So as we remember what happened in Haiti today, I remember how God's hand is so poignantly poised to move and work not just IN THE NATIONS but TO and FOR THE FACES.

I like that.

Haitian Proverb: Bay kou bliye, pote mak sonje.
Translation: The giver of the blow forgets, the bearer of the scar remembers.

Nou sonje.....We remember (the faces).

We Remember You, Ayiti Cheri!!

Wherever you are tomorrow, will you take some time to remember those who lost there lives one year ago tomorrow in Haiti......AND to celebrate for/with those who survived and continue to move forward and thrive!

Click here for a reminder of the devastation that struck this island on January 12, 2010.

Thanks for your prayers and support!

Focus on Haiti (Multitude Monday - #67-80)

When the earth quakes and its people live in turmoil, I am the one who keeps its foundations firm - Psalm 75:3

This Wednesday marks the 1 year anniversary of the devastating earthquake that rocked the Caribbean island of Haiti. A few months ago, I wrote about how the quake affected my family as missionaries, how I felt as their daughter living in Africa at the time and ultimately about the people. You can read that here in part 1 and part 2.

For today's gifts, I would like to focus on that little island, my birthplace, my Haiti and what God has done in this past year in many areas surrounding that.

Gratitude - a feeling of thankfulness or appreciation, as for gifts or favours;

the state of feeling grateful

#67 - 365 more days that I have had to love on and to grow closer to my mom and dad

#68 - an EVEN deeper appreciation for the fragility of life

#69 - the tenacity of the Haitian people in the face of their greatest foe/event yet

#70 - the world-wide awareness of the impoverished condition of the Haitian people

#71 - the precious people who have given of their finances to clothe a child, build a school, or feed a family

#72 - the powerful prayer warriors who lifted up not only Haiti & its people but also our family

#73 - the teams/groups who have given up their vacation time and invested their personal money into going to Haiti to build, to sort, to give, or to JUST be a blessing in whatever way possible

#74 - for the churches who have rallied behind the missionaries (Mom & Dad included) in prayer, in financial support, in fundraising, and in love

#75 - for great businesses including but not limited to our local Rotary Clubs who donated over 1,400 Christmas present shoeboxes for school children in Haiti as well as others who gave in numerous ways - financially, publicity, awareness, support, etc.

#76 - the brainchild of people like my husband and others who have championed behind the 1st annual With Love, Haiti event to commemorate the 1st anniversary of the quake

#77 - the many donors, including our host site, who are making this event a reality

#78 - my sister & her husband who worked SO hard for SO many hours helping to get supplies and funds in to help towards the earthquake relief, especially in those first 6 months of "survival living"

#79 - the support of an AMAZING extended family who has rallied behind us in prayer, in finances, in video, in raising awareness, in baking, in packing and unpacking and loading and unloading -- YOU GUYS ARE THE BOMB!!

#80 - And certainly, most of all, to the Father in Heaven who kept His hand so graciously upon my parents and this island, proving once again that HE is NOT a man that he should lie.

I have joined The Gratitude Community -- a place to be inspired by others and what God is doing in their lives, a chance to share my own journey of gratitude, and an opportunity to REMEMBER to be grateful in ALL things. So on Mondays, I will add to my list of 1000 gifts of all the graces God has provided in my life. Would you consider joining me? Even if you don't blog, you can join the gratitude community by starting a gratitude journal, mentionning your gifts on Facebook, or sending e-mails to your friends. Let's work together to help in creating a more thankful, joyous world!!

Head to Higher Ground

Today in church we were challenged to approach this new year with this one phrase foremost in our minds:

I NEED JESUS!

This has inspired and challenged me to incorporate this idea into my blog writing, and I am going to dedicate a set period of time to do so but as I am still pondering, praying, and allowing the words of the Holy Spirit to "marinate" in my spirit so I can share what He chooses, I would like to share a post with you from a woman who speaks with such grace and love from the Father at Heart to Heart with Holley. Today she spoke on "heading to higher ground" as the "wave" comes...you HAVE to check it out! It connects DIRECTLY to connecting to Jesus first in the middle of our circumstances--just what the pastor was talking about today!

Link over to her and come back and let me know what you think! I would love to connect you to others who help to encourage your day!

Thanks for reading and staying connected....

Oh Christmas Tree!

I have always hated taking down the Christmas tree, ever since I was a little girl. Sometimes as a teenager or college student, my parents would do it on a night that I was out with friends because I hated it so much. It seems like such an end to me of the holiday that I SO look forward to plus my whole family always goes together each year to pick out the tree at a tree farm, so I have to say goodbye to our time-consuming, hand-picked beauty. Also after all the time decorating and making it perfect, who wants to have to put it away and go back to REAL life!! HA!

This year wasn't any different. My parents are home for Christmas from Haiti, and next week we are hosting a gala event commemorating the one year anniversary of the earthquake last year. Then they leave once again for Haiti two days later. So this weekend the tree HAD to come down. Of course, Arno & I could do it AFTER they leave, but that just seemed SUPER sad.

So we worked on it today -- me & Mom & Dad, and although I still loathe doing it, it wasn't so bad! I decided to organize all of the boxes and categorize them with all the various Christmas items. Somehow creating order in chaos made things seem better.

It made me think about the Lord and how He works with us. The process is often messy just like with our tree.


It was REAL dry this year(and YES, we did water it!) so when Dad took off the ornaments and lights, the needles just fell off and it created this green carpet on the floor. Mom and I had to sweep and vacuum twice, but eventually the carpet was clean again. Organizing the boxes and getting things straight was MUCH messier WHILE the process was happening, but in the end, all was righted. And best of all, next year, finding exactly what we are looking for will be simple.

So back to how God works with us.....sometimes it is so messy and when He is getting rid of things that are dying, the process is painful and leaves us feeling barren and exposed. However, once He has removed the junk and sorted out all the "stuff" in our lives, the work He has done carries over into our future. We then see that His deep and thorough threads, weaving bolding through our lives, are not in vain but makes our lives much easier in the long run.

"....His yoke is easy, His burden is light...."

Happy 21st Birthday, Cuzzy Jared!

My cousin, Jared, who is like my little brother turned 21 today. This is what I wrote for his birthday party roast/toast:

I was 11 years old when Jared was born. I still have strong memories of when he was born, like “He is the prettiest baby I have ever seen!” from like EVERYONE or “He is the prettiest baby in the family!”....not sure how I am supposed to take that one....hahaha!

But one of my favorite memories of that first year is when he was 3 months old and made his first trip overseas to visit us with his parents & Justin to Haiti. I was holding him and feeding him his bottle and I remember these HUGE brown eyes just looking me in the face. He wasn’t scared even though he hadn’t seen me that much before. He looked at me like he was memorizing my face, and there was something that clicked with us then.

Over the years, we have had lots of fun memories. When he was 3, I used to fix his hair like the boy that I had a crush on....then he told on me...! When he was about 10/11, we (with Michaela) saved a chicken on the side of the road, and I made him hold it....what? I was driving! When he was about 14, he tried to figure out who my “secret admirer” flower sender was....and by his face, when he found out, I could tell if the guy was “the right one”.......OR NOT!

During high school we talked about girls (wink, wink) and travelling the world together...or at least Europe for a summer :)......and reaching the world for Jesus! When he did move to Africa for a one year internship, we had talked about travelling SO MUCH that Aunt Paula said it was my fault that he wanted to go there because he was following me!!

Jared, what I love most about you is your psalmist heart like David - one of my favs in the Bible -- the man after God’s own heart. In every season, weakness or strength, David’s heart was ALWAYS focused on the Father, and that is how I see you.

I am so excited for you as you go into this next season of life - adulthood, marriage, ministry, and more!

It’s like......loving you like you were my own little brother GOOD!!

(in honor of the old Yoplait commercial)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JARED!!! I LOVE YOU!!

(Jared & I wearing our dingle hoppers -- Little Mermaid, anyone?)

One Word 2011

One word.

One theme.

One focus for the year.

After reading quite a few blogs about choosing prayerfully one word to represent and/or focus on for the upcoming year, I thought, "Yeah...I want to do that too!"

I am a perfectionistic planner, but last year through a series of MANY things (previously blogged about), I found myself in a position that I couldn't plan like I wanted to.

So this One Word concept....one word to guide my year, my blog, my choices, my relationships, etc....

It's......well.......simple!

And, I need simple. I need lite. I need smooth. I need uncomplicated.

In this process of asking the Lord His word theme for my life for 2011, I realized that I will be letting Him guide my year in a way that I haven't before because when I focus around a concept, - that He gives me - He truly can take my life and make the plans....FOR REAL!

Does this mean that I won't have any set goals or concrete plans? No, probably not. However, I think the goals will be more focused on my ONE WORD and in THAT I find peace even in the wide unknown.

I was nervous about choosing a word because I didn't want to be directing my own days like I feel I have been so guilty of in seasons past. But then in the process of reading and perusing others' blogs, I came across this line by Alece of Grit and Glory

He is making all things new in me. Not just fixing them. Not repairing, rebuilding, or even renewing. He is redeeming. And making me new.

And I felt it then....the quiet whisper of the Holy Spirit...I am making you new.....

I decided to let it marinate inside of me to "make sure" it wasn't just ME, and the today I came across another quote from a song.

"Life breaks and falls apart, but we know these are the places where grace is soon to be so amazing. They may be unfulfilled, they may be unrestored, but when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord – just watch and see – it will not be unredeemed." - {Unredeemed by Selah}

Again His still small voice....You, my daughter, are redeemed.

My OneWord2011 is REDEEMED.

Dictionary.com uses the following definitions for the word redeem:

re·deem [ri-deem] –verb (used with object)

1.to buy or pay off; clear by payment: to redeem a mortgage.

2.to buy back, as after a tax sale or a mortgage foreclosure.

3.to recover (something pledged or mortgaged) by payment or other satisfaction: to redeem a pawned watch.

4.to exchange (bonds, trading stamps, etc.) for money or goods.

5.to convert (paper money) into specie.

6.to discharge or fulfill (a pledge, promise, etc.).

7.to make up for; make amends for; offset (some fault, shortcoming, etc.): His bravery redeemed his youthful idleness.

8.to obtain the release or restoration of, as from captivity, by paying a ransom.

9.Theology . to deliver from sin and its consequences by means of a sacrifice offered for the sinner.

I look forward to diving into these definitions and much more. I found another blogger, Hannah, who also chose this word. I loved her post about this and her take and thoughts were so different from mine that I realized that the Father has much to show me....

....and I am excited.....!