When Peace Looks Like Leaning In

The house we bought 5 months ago was built in 1980.
Two out of three of the bedrooms carry the trends of a decade later on their floors.
Magenta and hunter green.
{trust me...the green is MUCH "greener" than it seems as this photo was taken at night}

I remember a youth group banquet proudly wearing those same decor colors.
That was 1994.

Now in 2012, not so much.
But the budget does not allow for changes so we deal with the-blast-from-the-past in whatever ways we can.

Right now that is white paint, polka dot bedspread, stripes, and a chalkboard wall {I have ALWAYS wanted to have a room with a chalkboard wall} being painted by our friend who is a professional painter. He's 72 by the way and has the strength and endurance of a man half his age, maybe even two put together. And amazingly, an artistic eye. We're planning a painted tree with leaves and who knows what else. But it is gonna be so much fun!

This is the room for our foster kids.
No. We do not have any yet.
And I do not know their names.
But I am preparing and planning and painting with love like an expectant woman filled to the brim with hope and anticipation of the life that Jesus is entrusting to her.

It has been a hard road -- this foster care journey -- and yet, here I am nesting and planning like I can only imagine a first time mother does as she welcomes her first child.

It is different, of course.
But maybe not so different.

Different circumstances, same emotions, same heart...that is what my friend, James, always said.

And I believe him.

It is not the story I planned.
Not the way I thought I would be "preparing the room"
but convention has never been a part of my dynamic
so why start now?

So I am stepping out, a little afraid, but with amazing peace, which almost rattles me right there.
But I lean into it anyway.
That peace.
I have learned nothing else will do.

God never asked me if I could, 

He used me 

because He knew I trusted 

that HE would. 

- J.D., writer at Compassion Can 

{Beyond Measure}

 

Also linking up with these great communities....