And off we would go across the field, grasping, reaching to touch the chain link fence on the other side. Twelve year old bodies move with rhythm and motion to the beat only they can hear in the recesses of their mind.
My mantra, "Beat the boys, Lindsey. Beat the boys."
Very fast actually.
I could beat all but one, okay maybe two, boys in class.
I was proud of that.
I only raced to win.
Or at least to place high, in the winner's circle.
This striving became my life.
My very own song played in steady beats.
Run faster.
Strive more.
Reach higher.
Go bigger.
Until the twelve year old girl inside of me cried out....
There is nothing left to give.
You spent it all.
But the race is not over, the voice inside rails.
PUSH.
PUSH.
But I cannot.
I have nothing left.
Until I yield to His mantra, His dance, His rhythm, His song.
And I am learning...
...this is a one woman race. {thank you, Holley Gerth}
I don't really have to "beat" anybody.
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10 comments:
Lindsey - it's funny our thoughts were running along the same lines :-), besides the word 'race'. You described the picture of a race well - the being tired, not yet at the end and needing to push. So thankful for a Heavenly Father we can lean on. Thank you for your words.
I love this, Lindsey--"a one woman race" I'm taking that away with me today. Yes indeed.
PS: Can NOT wait to see you in a couple of weeks!!
I can really relate to this - the striving, the competing. It's especially hard to let go of if you are accustomed to winning!
Enjoying connecting with you again this week. The facebook page is a little big huge at the moment, am trying to get my head around it! I'll get there, i'm sure...
Oh...i have known the race...race ...race...thanks for the quote...it is a one woman race...we are not in competition with others. Always a good reminder. have a blessed weekend~
Great post... great reminder that it is not - in fact - competition outside of ourselves! Learning His dance, His rhythm, His song... that is the desire and what we 'push' on towards! Thanks for sharing!
Oh, what a sweet perspective, Lindsey! Thank you!!!
This so reminded me of my years in Southern California - out in the desert playground behind our school... I would run until I dropped... Good memories, confusing memories... Then one day I met the Lord and he said, "Stop!"... Bless you girl!
A one woman race…yes, I need to remember that every single day. Loved this!
Lovely Lindsey - oh I love particularly how you ended it. "This is a one woman race, and I don't have to beat anybody." Hmmm, oh I needed that wisdom today. :) Thank you. I missed you last night! I hope you have a terrific week.
Lindsey, so nice to be back here after a while and visit you. Dropping by from FMF. I love the message here--yes! A one-woman race. Holly Gerth--pretty amazing lady, huh? His mantra, his dance, his rhythm, his song....this is how I want to run this life too. Blessings, fellow runner and sister.
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