Thursday, July 14, 2011

A Journey towards Childlike Faith

This week, I felt really challenged by Bonnie Gray's prompt to look up and write on a Scripture about faith.

So I pulled out search engined a concordance and found a Scripture that really spoke to me.

But then I was stumped???

How do I put into words WHY this Scripture speaks to my personal journey of faith?

Over the past year, my faith walk has been filled with tremendous ups and downs leaving me reeling, replaying, rethinking, and wondering who I am, what my specific purpose is and how the choices I am making & people I am connected(ing) with are shaping my destiny.

Leaving full time ministry, even for just this extended sabbatical period, has been ridiculously scary.

My desire to simply "work with people" and to serve in a full time ministerial capacity has been my heart and in essence, a big part of my identity for the past 10 years. In many ways, even my relationship with God has found itself wrapped up in a life of service, giving, & discipleship.

In the face of all of these changes and questions, some recurring themes have consistently emerged.





Childlike faith.

I realized that in an effort to be "obedient" and in striving to "lay my life down," I sacrificed part of ME, part of my very nature.

My mom has often said to me, "Lindsey, be true to yourself and to the Lord. At the end of the day that is all the Lord asks of you."

Somewhere along the way, "doing the right thing," "following God's plan for my life," and "being true to what HE made me" got mixed up. Striving to find HIS plan/purpose in ME and through ME define this phase of my journey in the simplest way.

And yet, I am not simple. Far from it, in fact.

I don't think I ever was.

Even as a little girl. Just ask my mom.


One thing that marked my childhood was....

....a sense of hopefulness

....the wonder of a dreamer

....a daily life filled with excitement attitude joyfulness in life...especially in the little things

So I don't understand all of the whys, the whats, or the hows of the 30-something years thus far, but I do know that as I muddle through the complexities of this world and my own weaknesses, I desire to do so with the heart, the faith, the wonder of a child.

So today, that's what faith is to me.

Psalm 116:5-7 (NLT)
How kind the Lord is! How good he is!
So merciful, this God of ours!

The Lord protects those of childlike faith;
I was facing death, and he saved me.

Let my soul be at rest again,
for the Lord has been good to me.



Chelsea Brown said... Best Blogger Tips

Love your honesty here. 
Thank you for the kind word you left over on my blog. 
Nice to 'meet' you :) 

Rosarymom said... Best Blogger Tips

Hi Lindsey, I think we've all been where you are now.  We can get so caught up in serving Jesus in the way WE think we're supposed to and then stop listening to soft whispers of God and ignore the nudging of the Holy Spirit.  We all need to be reminded to stop, grow still and listen to God.  God bless!

Jen said... Best Blogger Tips

I LOVE hearing how God is moving in your during your sabbatical.  Good stuff!

Jeri Taira said... Best Blogger Tips

The beauty of God's heart intertwined with your heart is in every word I read in this post. I love the things that marked your childhood. That's what life is finally like for our family now. 

I can tell you've carried them into your every day even now.


Bonnie Gray said... Best Blogger Tips

"I realized that in an effort to be "obedient" and in striving to "lay my
life down," I sacrificed part of ME, part of my very nature."

Oh, yeah. Sounds like we've been walking on the same path... you and me, girl.  GOd still preserving our childlike faith --- since we were little girls. Let's shine for Jesus... as we rediscover what it is to be a little girl in faith again! :)  *hugs* 

psst.  I see such much light and joy in who God has made you, girlfriend.  Such a blessing you ARE! :)

Related Posts with Thumbnails