Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Stand

I have been kind of quiet around here over the past couple of weeks, and I guess that is because I feel a bit stuck.

Stuck in my own head....in my own thoughts, plans, dreams, realities.

It seems like I have been in this season for a long time.

In fact, when I started this blog almost a year and a half ago, I already felt that way.

So in many ways, this space here has chronicled my journey in a way that I can quantify....

And oh how the Lord knows that I LOVE to categorize and to strategize everything in my life from the earth shattering to the minute...

But I can't quite get my mind around the "reason", the "point", the "purpose" of...

ALL. OF. THIS.

Not yet anyway.

So let's just get down to it.

I admit it.

I am a little confused right now.
A little scared.
A little hurt.
A LOT tired.
Okay...maybe A LOT of {all of the above}.

And yet, this blog in SO many tiny little ways represents my life...

Some days are quiet & reserved.
Some days are full of revelation.
Some days I pull away.
Some days I am big & bold.

But overall, here I am pressing on.

Not quitting,
Not throwing in the towel,
...even when I maybe looks like it not only from the outside {to others} but also from the inside {to myself}.

Nonetheless, I am standing.
Well, figuratively speaking anyway...
Because some days just feel like I am a big puddle in the floor...

But I remind myself,
"You are still in this, Baby. You are still in this."

I am not strong or tough in the standards of the world, popular opinion, or quite frankly, even myself.

But HE said...
"....having done all, to stand. Stand!"
Ephesians 6

So that is what I am doing....
standing...

Sometimes quiet.
Sometimes scared.
Sometimes brave.
Sometimes bold.

But really....mostly scared.

....and yet....

....I'm still here.

6 comments:

Bonnie said... Best Blogger Tips

Thanks for sharing, Lindsey! You words are always inspirational and I appreciate your honesty. There are many times in my life when all I could do was stand, but thank God standing was enough! Love to you!

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

Oh...Bonnie! Thanks so much for your kind words! I really appreciate it, and it encourages me to keep writing....and STANDING, of course!

Katy said... Best Blogger Tips

oh how i hear you! just gotta keep standing even when it's really more like falling, but thank goodness He holds onto us!  love you..

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

Thank you, sweet one! Yes...if He wasn't holding onto ME in spite OF me....I don't know what I would do! Love back atcha!

Brittany said... Best Blogger Tips

I. am. in. love. with. this. post!

I don't know what else to say except that I totally hear you on this, and I love that you were brave and real enough to share it here. This has encouraged me more than you know---to stand! Yes, STAND! Even in the scared and hurt and tired. to stand.

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

Brittany, the fact that this means so much to you encourages me beyond what words can say!  I appreciate you giving that back to me!

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