Thursday, June 21, 2012

Dare To Write

Can I be honest?
No, I mean really and truly honest?

Life has been a little overwhelming lately.
And scared
And intimidating.


Wow. That felt good to get that out.

A couple of months ago we finally bought the house we had been waiting for. We packed, we cleaned, we moved in. And then we started a foster care home study process TWO WEEKS later. No seriously. We really did. We kept unpacking and organizing and finding a semblance of order in our home, little by little by painstakingly little. We filled out paperwork and more paperwork and then, you guessed it, even more paperwork.  We put locks on scary attics doors and random closet cubbies and changed our water temperature setting {Who knew you could do THAT?}. We engaged in interview after interview after gut-wrenching, soul-baring interview.

Our lives have changed a lot and not so very much all at the same time.

And I kind of slowed down my writing and posting
Aaaaa....Whhhhoollle.... Loooot.
Not really on purpose.
It just kind of happened.

And somehow in the past week or so, as I have tried to jump back in, I have felt so very far behind -- in relationships, in opportunities, in writing skills, in confidence, in grace to simply be me.

While I so just want to stay here in this space of darkness and indecision and fear, {Oh there is that ugly word again!}, I know that I simply cannot. So with Intimidation shouting in my ears, "What do you have to say?" or "You know that someone else out there could say it better and stronger and with more impact & eloquence than you ever could," I dare to write anyway.

Not because it's perfect.
Not because it's beautiful.
Not because I have all of the answers.

Not because I'm smart.
Not because I'm eloquent.
Not because I know I can weave words to change the world.

I dare to write because His heart and soul and Spirit inside of me scream softly and whisper loudly with unrelenting purpose and destiny,

"You were made for this and so much more.
Don't stop the dreamer.
Don't silence the artist.
Don't stand in the way of the sinner 
working her way through grace 
on this writing journey."

Now my soul breathes a little deeper as life-giving CPR fills my dried up soul.

"He who began a good work in you 
is faithful to complete it 
until the day of Christ Jesus."
Philippians 1:6

What fears are holding you back? 

What is stopping you from daring to do the thing inside 
that you know you were meant to do
....regardless of whether you are the best or not....?

Write it girl


soulstops said... Best Blogger Tips

hi Lindsey,

Thanks for not listening to the other voices, and writing your post. I linked up behind you at Emily's and my post, I realized, after reading yours, is along a similar theme about writing...funny how that works out...sounds like you have a full plate right now...praying you sense His peace...Blessings :)

Lynn D said... Best Blogger Tips

I need to hear what you have to say, and I believe you are giving courage to women wanting children all over. Opening eyes to options and opportunities. Praying for his peace to surround you.
Lynn D

Beverly Scott Brumbley said... Best Blogger Tips

Beautiful, my daughter!  Write on...continue to be transparent.  It helps us all!  

Ro elliott said... Best Blogger Tips

Oh how the enemy wants us to shrink back in fear...but sometimes when the enemy is whispering in my ear...I can agree..yes..I am nothing...but Christ in me is everything...yes, i have nothing to say...but Christ in me does...standing on the firm foundation of Christ...sends the enemy running...glad you pressed through...blessings on your journey~

Annie | said... Best Blogger Tips

This comment box totally intimidates me because there is so much I want to say in response to this - how much I value your words and how your boldly saying them encourages my heart. Thank you for living in these tensions and continuing to quiet that voice of fear and reminding me to do the same.

Emily Wierenga said... Best Blogger Tips

i think it's important to stop sometimes and take a break. i say, good on you girl! you're living. and that's so essential to the writing process. love to you. xo

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