Wordless Wednesday: Beauty in Ruin

Linked up with Wordless Wednesday, Live and Love Out Loud, Project Alicia, Woven by Words, Better in Bulk, & Our Homeschool Reviews

The Joy of Counting {Multitude Monday #161-#190}

As I have been reading through a plethora of blogs here in cyberspace, I have repeatedly come across women blogging and praising Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts. I haven't read it yet, but I AM convinced by the rave reviews that I must. I was challenged by one blogger in that she decided that week to take the time to write her gifts down, and not just trying to remember them on Mondays, which I, too, have been guilty of.

So....

This past week.....

I opened up a new journal {oh how I love new journals!} that was a birthday present from one of my bffs, Natalie, and decided to start a gratitude journal...once again! {I had written in one pretty often years ago}

It IS truly amazing how MUCH MORE you appreciate the moments and days when you stop to just reflect on them and what GIFTS they hold, even when things are difficult.

PLUS

I have found that I have MANY MORE gifts to list & share on a Monday because of thinking about them every day.

So this week, I continue to count my gifts....with EVEN MORE excitement than usual....

Gratitude - a feeling of thankfulness or appreciation, as for gifts or favours;

the state of feeling grateful

#161 - Ann Voskamp {her humble heart for Jesus just touches me SO much}

#162 - her tweets that remind me to take notice of my gifts

#163 - a new love song for me and Arno {"You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream...."}

#164 - cuddling in the morning before work

#165 - Patches staying close to me or in the same room with me whenever I am home

#166 - the anticipation of snow {makes me feel like a little girl}

#167 - quality time with my sister {getting to fill her love language}

#168 - blogging women who inspire, challenge, & encourage

#169 - seeing Arno walk through the door after a long day

#170 - Breyers ice cream {Mmmmm...my favorite}

#171 - freshly popped popcorn

#172 - walks with my man

#173 - capturing beautiful moments on camera

#174 - bedtime rituals

#175 - Red Dress Club

#176 - The world of Twitter

#177 - getting a revelation from the Father

#178 - spending time with Betty C {83 year old lady) gleaning wisdom

#179 - hearing her say, "God sent you here to me today!"

#180 - friendly ladies at the post office

#181 - Morris & Patches cuddling

#182 - the gift of the written word

#183 - the fun of taking pictures

#184 - seeing old friends

#185 - meeting his new wife and "clicking" with her

#186 - talking about TTC stuff with a new friend who has "been there" but is now on the other side WITH TWINS {my secret desire}

#187 - playing mini golf

#188 - sharing our marriage experiences with newlyweds

#189 - the night time view of the beach from the 12th floor balcony {breath-taking!}

#190 - a new journal to write down & remember my gifts {YAY!}

I have joined The Gratitude Community -- a place to be inspired by others and what God is doing in their lives, a chance to share my own journey of gratitude, and an opportunity to REMEMBER to be grateful in ALL things. So on Mondays, I will add to my list of 1000 gifts of all the graces God has provided in my life. Would you consider joining me? Even if you don't blog, you can join the gratitude community by starting a gratitude journal, mentionning your gifts on Facebook, or sending e-mails to your friends. Let's work together to help in creating a more thankful, joyous world!!

Silver & Gold

There is something so great about catching up with old friends

and hearing & seeing what is happening in their lives

and meeting the "special someones" that God has given to them

and leaving with new friends to cherish and love!

Make new friends, but keep the old;

Those are silver, these are gold.

Brow may wrinkle, hair grow gray;

Friendship never knows decay.

~Author Unknown~

And as great as that is, I ALSO get to go home with this man every night.....

{sigh} What a life! ;)

Five Minute Friday: Crazy Love

Fridays are the days where I take 5 minutes to share on a topic/prompt from beautiful Lisa-Jo @ The Gypsy Mama. She is a traveller like me and married to a man of another culture like me...just in reverse! (ie: she is from South Africa and her hubby is from America)

BUT before I share today's story. I want to take a few minutes to announce the winner of the first giveaway here at Little Missionary Girl.

Julie Ann at Whimsical Words

{Winner chosen via random.org}

Yay! Julie has won a $20 gift certificate from DaySpring. Thanks again to (in)Courage & Dayspring for my Mr. & Mrs. Love Collection for review and allowing me to host this great giveaway.

AND thank you to all of you who visited and entered.

Don't forget to pop over to Dayspring before the end of this month for all the great "Month of Love" discounts! 4 more days to go!

So now back to our previously scheduled program....hehe

5 Years Ago....


GO.

5 years ago, I was a newlywed, just testing the waters.

We were newlyweds but we hadn't even been "together" for a year yet...five years ago from today.

But we loved each other in that crazy-I-know-that-God-brought-you-into-my-life-and-no-matter-what-happens-I'm-all-in kind of love.

It was hard. That first year.

And not because of what people say -- the shoes in the living room, the socks on the floor, the toilet paper up or down, the shower button left on when the water is turned off.

Those things didn't really matter so much. "Don't sweat the small stuff" and all!

The hardest part was ME. LETTING. GO.

It was me yielding my heart and soul and life to this man.

This beautiful man whom God brought from the other side of the world. Literally.

But I had to learn how to surrender to this new season. How to let go of the past. Let go of mistakes. His....AND....Mine.

And the journey was tough, but now, I am his and he is mine in that wonderful I-want-to-hold-hands-with-you-and-only-you-for-the-rest-of-my-life-NO-MATTER-WHAT!
STOP.

Do you have 5 minutes to share today? Comment below or link up with me at The Gypsy Mama.

The Day a Letter Set Me Free

It was 1999, and he was my best "guy" friend.

We hung out mostly in a group of 8-12 friends. We were a tight crew. But he & I had a special connection. He was witty & sarcastic & boyishly charming. I was analytical & strong-willed & intellectually-challenging. Everyone knew we had a unique friendship, but it was "purely platonic."

No. Seriously. It was.

Was, that is, until that summer.
The summer after he broke up with his girlfriend from back home.
The summer we hung out in Maine with our friends.
The summer that everything changed.

We crossed the boundaries of friendship, and things would never be the same again. At first it was thrill-me-to-my-toes exciting. We were "us" but now MORE, and it was fun!

But then, real life happened.

We went back to college, back to classes, back to our normal routine.

But she came too -- his ex. She was now a part of "our" world.

Suddenly, he pulled away from me. He needed "space" from "both of us" to "figure things out". It was hard, but he was my friend, right? So I wanted to give him room to grow and to know his own heart & head.

Then one day the bottom fell out of our relationship. In one day my heart broke.

He knew my schedule, so he had been avoiding me, although I hadn't realized that at the time. He didn't count on my meeting being cancelled that night. He didn't plan for me to be in the cafeteria a little later then usual for supper.

That's when I saw them.

The two of them.

Together.

I couldn't understand. My mind did not want to register. Why would he lie to me? He is my friend. He WAS my friend.

I'm not his choice.
I'm not good enough,

pretty enough,

smart enough,

I'm not ENOUGH!

And HE LIED TO ME!!

That is the moment the darkness crept into my soul, my very being. As the days passed, I would wake up each morning in such agony and pain and HATRED. I felt betrayed, abandoned, stupid, faithless, ignorant, unwise, alone. The feeling in my gut was like someone was daily twisting my intestines. I know that sounds intense and dramatic, but I felt like I was walking in a fog. I would read Scriptures almost mindlessly to just "stuff the Word" into me. I would get ready for the day and just beg the Holy Spirit to help me.

But nothing seemed to work. I would cross paths with him. Or her. Or him & her together. I tried to face things. I tried to let it go. I tried to "get over it!"

But the anger seemed to just build and build and with that the shame. How could I let this happen? How could I be so stupid? And the bitterness just increased.

Months passed, and one day, I went to a revival service. I don't remember what the message was about or anything that was said in particular except the invitation to the altar at the end. I went forward and I felt that tugging at my heart strings.

It's time to forgive. It's time to let go.

And instructions followed.

Write him a letter. Write her a letter. Ask them for forgiveness.

WHAT, LORD? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!! There is NO WAY! I didn't do anything wrong. He blatantly lied to me, and she rudely ignores me. I am the one who has a RIGHT to be angry.

And the quietest of whispers....

Haven't you held anger, resentment, & bitterness in your heart against them?

Well, yeah, but THEY don't know that! I have been nice.

My child....Forgive.....

That night, I sat down at my computer and typed out my apologies.

{Photo Credit}

It was hard.

It was real.

It was honest.

The next morning, I went and dropped them off at the campus post boxes.

When I walked out of the CPO that day, I am convinced, the sky was bluer, the clouds were fluffier, the bird-song was sweeter, and there was a spring in my step.

There was something amazing about accepting God's forgiveness and requesting it in return from others with NO AGENDA!

Forgiveness set me free!!

Linked up with Bonnie @ Faith Barista and A Lesson Learned @ Mama's Losin' It

When God Writes Your Story

This post is inspired by Sara Markley writing at (in)courage today about trusting God to write your story, even when it doesn't turn out like YOU thought it would.

I have had a very angry-at-times-but-mostly-keeping-at-arms-length connection with God over the past year or so, as I realized that if I was honest with myself, I am NOT where I thought I would be at 32.

I remember thinking one day, "I would hate to have to talk to my 21-year-old self because I think she would be disappointed."

I do realize that other people looking at my life, might not think that. I am married to the love of my life AND I have travelled to quite a few countries AND even lived in a couple of them long term. I have worked in full time ministry for over 10 years and loved people until it hurt. Just to name a few of the amazing blessings in my life.

And yet.....

In the past two years, Mom & Dad were in the Haiti earthquake of 2010, my health has been a MAJOR issue, my husband & I have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years, and we are taking a "time-out" from full time ministry among other "things" that I could list.

Some days.....well, honestly....every day, I have to remind myself that HE doesn't make mistakes. He is not abandoning me OR punishing me. He doesn't love me less than the next girl because I am not a biological mommy yet or because I am not ministering full time at the moment.

But am I happy with MY STORY?

That is a loaded question for me. I have realized this past year that happiness is overrated, and that my joy is ONLY made complete in Him, through Him, by Him, & ultimately FOR Him.

So no, I am not "happy" but I HAVE TO/MUST DO/CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT daily looking into His face and finding where the source of my "joy" rests - HIM and ONLY HIM.

At the end of 2010, I realized that there was a message that my Father was so desperately trying to speak to me.....GRACE! GRACE! GRACE!

Grace for the journey.

Grace for my weaknesses.

Grace for the world around me.

Grace to see WHAT HE SEES when He looks at me, when He looks at people.

So when those words of doubt, failure, regret, shame come....EVERY DAY.....I just remind myself to accept his grace all over again!

And IF He is great enough, faithful enough, merciful enough to give me such unmerited favor, how can I NOT trust HIM to keep writing my story?

How do you feel about where your story is NOW? Do you trust Him to keep writing your story?

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world,

the master calls a butterfly

~ Richard Bach

Wordless Wednesday: Baked by Bonnie

{My Aunt Bonnie bakes REALLY well and has a side business

called Baked by Bonnie.

The above pictured are some treats

that she cooked up for Valentine's Day for some hungry clients}

Linked up with Wordless Wednesday & Live from Waterloo.

Friend Makin Mondays: 100 Million Bucks

Kenlie @ All the Weigh is hosting a linky party, Friend Makin Monday, and each week you answer a question on your blog and then, well, LINK UP, and check out fellow bloggers answers. Feel free to join me!!

Friend Makin Monday Question of the Week:

What's the first thing you would do for yourself if you won 100 million dollars?

Note: this question is specifically for you...

what would you do for fun

after the family and the bills

and the obvious stuff was taken care of?

I would book round-the-world tickets for my husband & I to take off for a year or more and see the WHOLE WORLD or at least as many nations as possible.

I would invest LOADS of the money so that it would work for us while we were gone.

I would buy the BEST DSLR camera to capture the world in pictures.

I would buy my husband the Apple products of his choice to do all of the editing, programming, web designing to his heart's content.

I would invest in real estate after I bought us {and my parents} our own home.

Now it's YOUR turn!

Go to All the Weigh and link up OR just answer in the comments section below. I would LOVE to hear your 100 million dollar dreams!

Multitude Monday - #141 - 160

Continuing to count my 1,000 gifts....

Gratitude - a feeling of thankfulness or appreciation, as for gifts or favours;

the state of feeling grateful

#141 - Celebrating 2 month old birthdays (Love you, Macy Hope)

#142 - fresh & new, blue eyes

#143 - peace that comes from within

#144 - trust in Someone bigger than me

#145 - having someone believe in you

#146 - learning to be comfortable in my own skin

#147 - honest, hard, "bloggy" words; grace-filled responses

#148 - beautiful Valentine memories

#149 - Tulips!

#150 - Never-ending HOPE

#151 - The Love Bandit

#152 - Looking with Faith-eyes

#153 - time spent with my husband

#154 - playing mini golf & arcade games

#155 - discovering a new restaurant

#156 - getting mutually choked up at a movie about seeing dreams come true

#157 - my strong, steady, supportive dad

#158 - Mr. & Mrs. Love gifts

#159 - a giveaway from Dayspring

#160 - Love - true, real, eternal, forgiving, no-record-keeping

I have joined The Gratitude Community -- a place to be inspired by others and what God is doing in their lives, a chance to share my own journey of gratitude, and an opportunity to REMEMBER to be grateful in ALL things. So on Mondays, I will add to my list of 1000 gifts of all the graces God has provided in my life. Would you consider joining me? Even if you don't blog, you can join the gratitude community by starting a gratitude journal, mentionning your gifts on Facebook, or sending e-mails to your friends. Let's work together to help in creating a more thankful, joyous world!!

Five Minute Friday: Kindred Spirits

It's that time of week....time to take 5 minutes without OVER-editing and OVER-analyzing and just.....well....write.

This week is all about friendship.

GO.

Our times together have been few & far between lately...this friend whose heart I have connected to almost a decade ago.

"Re O Bama. Re E Kumba. Na ho sa...Oh, Jezu...." she sang at a women's retreat. Words from the Passion song, We Fall Down, fell off of her tongue.

I joined in.

I, too, knew the words.

In that moment, an indelible friendship was formed.

We were younger then.

A little more foolish. Definitely less wise.

We had the world at our fingertips....ready to save the whole planet.

Time has weathered us, grown us, matured us.

We have loved HARD and lost BIG.

Yet still, my friend, is there beside me to weather life's storms.

Yesterday, I held her long-awaited promised one in my arms.
It is a different season for her....for me....everything has changed....and nothing all at once.

There is safety in the words that pour out between us.

We are committed to separating the chaff from the wheat in each other

....and remembering ONLY the wheat.

STOP.

Thank you, Alison Kinlaw!

Click over here to be entered in my Dayspring-sponsored giveaway.

{open til Thursday, February 24th at 11:59 p.m.}

Linking up with

In His Grip,

Spring is Coming!!

A week ago, this was the scene outside of my house......

And today was 67 degrees.....

Spring is coming!!

{My Valentine's Day present from Arno - Tulips - my favorite flower}

Mr. & Mrs. Love (and a GIVEAWAY!)

There is always something really exciting about getting something in the mail, especially when it is a gift OR a surprise.

So last Tuesday, when a package arrived for me, I was THRILLED.

Now it wasn't a surprise, but it was a GIFT!

YAY!

Dayspring via (in)courage sent me the Mr. and Mrs. Love Collection.

And I couldn't wait to use the collection so I could tell YOU all about it!

I chose these items from the selections given because I wanted to contribute to my Valentine's Day events with hubby to give him a little surprise as well {except he saw the box when it arrived and was TOO curious for me to keep it a surprise until Valentine's Day--oh well!}.

We started our sweetheart day in the early afternoon so we could spend more hours together.

Hubby's idea. *swoon*

We took the fun to Ocean City {about 30 minutes away}, so, of course, the trip wouldn't be complete to Arno without a little venti latte for the road. As for me, I am still LOVING my lime water}.

We took a walk on the Boardwalk.

We played mini-golf and arcade games.

We actually WANTED to be spontaneous and didn't make reservations anywhere. So we drove around for a bit, and since grace & favor seemed to be on our side, we got a table at the first restaurant we walked into. It was beautiful, on the water, live music. PERFECT!

We, then, went to the movies and watched *blush* Justin Bieber's movie Never Say Never. We chalk it up to the years of being children & youth pastors. WE LOVE TO SEE KIDS/YOUTH/PEOPLE WALK IN THEIR DREAMS/TALENTS/CALLINGS. It EXCITES us!! It was really an inspirational movie to encourage people to never give up on their dreams.

And then we went home to savor our NEW GIFTS!

Yay!

The first thing that I loved about the collection is the actual design itself. The black, white, & red color scheme is so classy. I also love the contrast of the lines on the mugs and journal with the paisley pattern on the coupon book and gift bag.

Arno made us hot chocolate in our sweet mugs, painted red inside and detailed with a heart as you tip the warm liquid to your face as well as delicately displayed on the inside rim, "I found the one my heart loves. Song of Solomon 3:4 NIV"

We browsed through the coupon book and decided to let the other choose their coupon of choice for the day. My choice: a massage. His choice: {that's easy} a kiss {or two} hehehee.

We "planned" to write in the journal, set up with one side for HIM and one side for HER, but since I am a "words" girl, hubby did his rough draft on his computer {isn't he cute?} and hasn't transferred it yet. And, I, well...blogger, aspiring writer that I am.....have no excuse...! But I LOVE that idea, and we plan to utilize that for the years to come(AND still for this "past" V-day)to memorialize our heart song for each other.

We had a LOVE-ly night! I guess I can't give this collection ALL the credit, but it did seem to create an environment that gave us time to catch up, to connect, and to chat about our lives and our future.

I am looking forward to more evenings and connections JUST LIKE THIS!

Thank you, Dayspring!

YOUR TURN TO WIN!!

Would you like a chance to win the Mr. and Mrs. Love Collection OR anything of your choice from Dayspring?

I heard that YES!

Dayspring is sponsoring a giveaway RIGHT here on my blog. You could win a $20 gift certificate to use on any item of your choice. (shipping charges will apply)

So here are few ways that you can enter:

1) Write a comment below telling me what you and your "someone special" {spouse, boyfriend, kids, friends, etc) did for Valentine's Day. Please no generic comments like "Enter me!" or something of the sort.

2) Follow me on Twitter.

3) Follow me here {on this blog} via Google Connect.

4) Follow me {also here} via Networked Blogs.

5) Tweet, update your status, or blog about this giveaway. You can EVEN utilize the easy to use buttons at the bottom of this post.

You can do ONE or ALL of the above, but just remember, PLEASE enter a separate comment for every action you take including links back to anything posted on Twitter, Facebook, or your blog to have a BETTER CHANCE of winning.

This contest will be open until Thursday, February 24th @ 11:59 p.m. EST.

The winner will be chosen by a random number generator and announced on my blog on Friday, February 25th as well as contacted via e-mail.

As a bonus, for the month of love, Dayspring is ALSO giving 25% off everything in their online store with the code LOVE25.

I received the Mr. & Mrs. Love Collection free from Dayspring. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

Proverbs 30:18-19 (New Living Translation)

¹⁸ There are three things that amaze me—
no, four things that I don’t understand:
¹⁹ how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman.