Five Minute Friday: Every Day

I am getting ready to go for a "LONG" weekend trip to Florida with my love to visit his brother and sister-in-law, so I thought I would join up in the "wee" hours of Friday to share my 5 minutes as the weekend promises to be full and whirlwind-ish.

This week, The Gypsy Mama asks us to share our thoughts on....

EVERY DAY

GO.



Every day my life changes a little. It shifts. It moves. Like the tide, I see the ebb and the flow of the waters, like time passing. What is left behind is different with each passing day, much like the beach transforms with each tide. The beach, the sand, the rocks, the shells -- all of the components are still the same, but...yet not....because the face of that landscape has been transformed and tomorrow will bring something new.

Sometimes that is scary to know that EVERY DAY will bring such radical change. I don't like change. I don't like "different." I like steady and certain.

And yet....

I don't....all at the same time.

I want every day to be filled with wonder, excitement, new-ness....

And there is the paradox.

So...I serve a God who is higher and wiser than I, who takes my EVERY DAY and turns it into something beautiful...even in the moments that feel LESS than lovely...He makes all things beautiful in HIS Time....

Every day....

STOP.

So I guess "the beach" was on my mind...LOL!

Have a GREAT weekend, wherever you are, wherever you go!

***Would you like to join in? You should...it's fun and well....JUST 5 minutes!!

Writer's Workshop: Those "6" Little Words

Joining up with Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop with the following prompt....


Six Word Memoir: Write about a significant time in your life in just six words.

Heartbroken and alone; He loved me.

What is your six word memoir? Link up to Mama Kat's OR just tell me in the comments below. I would love to hear yours!

Pregnant with Hope

We were driving back from the beach on Memorial Day, and I had a silly fit hit me. Now if you have ever been or are ever in the future "privileged" to preview one of those - it is QUITE a sight to behold {if I do say so myself}. And this one was definitely over the top.

Ice cream or ANY version thereof {frozen yogurt, gelato, frozen custard, etc} is my ABSOLUTE favorite thing to eat! BAR NONE! So at the beach, we found a place where you take an empty cup/bowl and self-serve any and all flavors and/or toppings that you want - LOADS of toppings. So, I filled up TO THE RIM - literally. My sister said she kept wondering HOW MUCH more I could fit on there.

Once I bought my creamy delight {and realized that I was paying by weight - OOPS!}, the reality of HOW much frozen yogurt that I had actually just purchased to consume in a short period of time hit me! Oh, boy! But....every bite was so delicious and varied that I TRULY felt like a kid in a candy shop...what am I saying???...I was the kid in the candy shop who got every single thing she wanted.

So as we rode home, I was so delighted with my delectable treat that I felt overwhelmed with ridiculous jokes and contagious laughter, so much so that on the hour long ride home with my sister, her husband, and mine, I slowly sucked each one of them into my Pied Piper world, quoting line after line from whatever movie popped into our brains, and ending the ride with my sister and I singing, LOUDLY, songs from childhood, teenage years or whatever, with God Bless America topping off the evening just before we pulled into our driveway.

I have always LOVED to laugh. That childhood delight in the little and BIG things of life has always been mine. In fact, my grandmother gave me the nickname of "JOY", when I was a teenager, because the WAY I loved life was infectious.

But that girl had all but disappeared over the past two years. She would make momentary appearances or special showings, like a retired athelete or movie star, but I wondered if she would ever come again.

And suddenly, there she was...in ALL her former glory...pulling out ALL the stops!

My husband was driving, and I would hear him laugh at my antics or random humor or simple delight with my own wit, and it made me think about how "the girl" he married had been in hiding for awhile. As I was driving to work yesterday, my mind & heart soaked in the remembrance of the real joy in his laugh, the true mirth in mine, the genuine play with my sister, and I tearfully & thankfully basked in the overwhelming realization that God is SO faithful.

I have always loved Anne of Green Gables. I have read and re-read and re-read all 8 books in the series over and over again since elementary school. Each time that I read I learn new things about life and grace and character. This excerpt is taken from Anne's House of Dreams after she has lost her firstborn daughter during childbirth....

Oh, Marilla, I don't see how I can EVER be happy again--EVERYTHING will hurt me all the rest of my life."

"It won't hurt so much always, Anne."

"The thought that it may stop hurting sometimes hurts me worse than all else, Marilla."

Sometimes it is hard to hope in the face of heartache because what your heart is broken over is SO desperately important to you, and you don't want to forget. Somehow forgetting makes is seem small or less important, so you hold on and stay in this place of limbo -- unable to heal, unable to move forward, unable to grow.

I know that people told me to hope, to trust in God, to know that He had a plan, but sometimes you wonder when pain and hurt have become like your own skin, if you will EVER be able to see the world with that childlike wonder again, especially to a heart like Anne's....to a heart like mine...

"....Oh, everybody has been so dear and good and lovely to me, Marilla. I'm not ungrateful--and perhaps--when this horrible ache grows a little less--I'll find that I can go on living."

....Anne {eventually} found that she could go on living; the day came when she even smiled again over one of Miss Cornelia's speeches. But there was something in the smile that had never been in Anne's smile before and would never be absent from it again.

I think that last line has held powerful meaning to me. "But there was something in the smile that had never been in Anne's smile before and would never be absent from it again." I understand that now! I really do! My smile may have changed....my laughter may be different...I may have altered somewhat in my world view....and sometimes people may not understand my choices or my pain or my silliness....

But today.....

I am pregnant with hope....pregnant with purpose...pregnant with the future that HE has for me.

No....my "eyes" cannot SEE the WHAT or the HOW or the WHEN, but my heart & my spirit are alive with this powerful hope for the future.

And that makes me smile....

....and laugh....

....and oh yeah....

....and I'm even doing a bit of a happy dance!

Hello...little girl! It's GRRRREEEAAATTT to see YOU again...I've missed ya! ;)

Linking up with....



and

Strawberry Fields

"....Let me take you down, ’cause I’m going to (too.)

Strawberry fields...."

While my mom and I did visit John Lenon's memorial site in Central Park while in New York (not on purpose -- just a part of the tour we were on)....

....and our pedi-cab driver showed us the building outside of which Lenon was shot and killed (since I like history that part was interesting)....

....THIS post is NOT about those strawberry fields.

It is about THESE strawberry fields!

In the spirit of not forgetting the little things, the special moments, the gifts that God has given to us, here is a little photo journey of my day at the "strawberry fields."

Boxes start out empty, ready to be filled

Fingers move quickly, not wanting to be stilled

Taste buds water with the desire for these juicy treats

Overflowing to the brim, see the delights that we get to eat!

Fingers show the signs of our dear labors of love

And God give us extra delights with His own special gift from above.

Loved spending the day with my family, doing something that

we have never done before....

TOGETHER

as we went down to the "strawberry fields."

**Special thanks to Oakley Farms for letting us pick in their fields! SO YUMMY!

Five Minute Friday: I Don't Want to Forget

I'm up late {as usual} so I decided to check for Lisa-Jo's Five Minute Friday prompt/post. I usually see it on Thursday night/Friday wee a.m., but I always let it marinate until the next day....usually later into Friday afternoon and evening, and then I write on whatever topic she has shot out to us for the week.

But tonight....I am just going to go for it....tired brain and body and all. Let's see what 5 minutes right now will bring. The ironic thing in my decision is the topic....

On Forgetting...{smile...NOT forgetting isn't as easy when you are tired, right? Oh well! Here goes!!!}

GO.

Remembering has always been important to me.

As a child, I wanted to count the days until I would see my extended family again. I didn't want to forget how much time had lapsed or how much time was left to wait. I would keep track of when I wrote which friend and family member on a little chart I developed as well as when they would write me back. I didn't want to forget when I wrote them or who I wrote.

I loved the database program that I worked with the past 8 years at both churches that I worked at because I could keep track of my conversations with members & disciples so that when I talked to them again, especially those I didn't know as well or whose faces I had never seen, I could remember and ask, "How did your knee surgery go?" or "Your little boy must be about 5 months old now." I wanted to remember.

Now, I take pictures....almost obsessively....I want to remember. I want to remember my grandmother's laugh, my mother's hands, my husband's eyes. I want to remember the day at the beach, the way she looked on her wedding day, the moment just before we all burst into laughter.

I love the details. I love the knowing each other. I love living life TOGETHER.

I don't want to forget.

STOP.

Won't you join me and link up your 5 minutes??

Wordless Wednesday: I'm Watching YOU!

This "LOOK" cracks me up!!

{My 2nd cousin (left) and my boss's/friend's daughter (right)}

Linked up with Wordless Wednesday and Project Alicia.

From Good to Graced

Katie at Imperfect People in love with a Perfect God asked me MONTHS ago if I would like to share my testimony on her blog. I was very excited and I said, "Yes!" immediately, but then I felt stumped about "what to share....exactly." So, 3 months later, I finally felt like I had "the words" so here they are....

I am the good girl.

I got that expression from Emily @ Chatting at the Sky, but the meaning behind it, I learned that on my own, because you see, I REALLY have always been "the good girl."

Let me explain...

I have always wanted to do the right thing.
I have always wanted to be pleasing.
I have always wanted to have approval from those I love.
I have always wanted my life to be successful.

So, I was the good girl.

I did what was asked of me...for the most part...probably all the way through college, and I didn't JUST do it to please others. I truly felt GOOD about ME when I was....well....GOOD!

However, you know what happens when you try so hard to be good and right and perfect {oh that's almost a dirty word for me -- PERFECTION!!}?? The result is someone who is on a never-ending cycle of proving one's self.

Each achievement has to out-do the last.

Each kind deed has to hold more meaning.

Each event has to outshine the previous one.

Won't you hop over and join me for the rest of the story at Imperfect People?

I am also linking up with Faith Barista in the coffee shop serving up my brew on perfectionism...






...as well as Imperfect Prose on Thursdays {special thanks to Shaunie at Up the Sunbeam for sharing her post there that turned me on to this community linky}.

Bachelorette, Masters, & Firsts {Multitude Monday #231-245}

For the 2nd week in a row, life has been a whirlwind, but in a good way.

My parents flew in from Haiti for a week...

My girlfriends and I partied celebrating another bride-to-be pal...

We picked strawberries as a family for the FIRST TIME. Can you believe it? Yeah, no strawberry fields in Haiti!....

My sister, after MUCH hard work, achieved & received her Masters degree...

My 22-year-old cousin's little girl's 1st birthday....and 1st taste of cake!

I think she liked it! ;)

Adding some more of my gifts this week....

Gratitude - a feeling of thankfulness or appreciation, as for gifts or favours;

the state of feeling grateful

#231-245

~Hugging my dad with my sister at the same time {had been 5 months since we had seen him}
~Laughing with girlfriends whom I have known for many years

~Talking married stuff with memories of when we were ALL single together

~Laughing with my mom over Diet Pepsi exploding in the freezer

~Beautiful strawberry fields

~The taste of fresh strawberries

~Watching the sun set over the fields

~Spending time with family doing simple things

~Loving on my goddaughter all day, taking her places with me

~Celebrating my sister's hard work

~Hanging out with old friends in town for the graduation

~Sharing yummy new desserts with my sis & cuz

~Having fun at a 1-year-old birthday

~Watching her taste cake for the first time
~Receiving prayer and encouragement from a sister in the faith

I have joined The Gratitude Community -- a place to be inspired by others and what God is doing in their lives, a chance to share my own journey of gratitude, and an opportunity to REMEMBER to be grateful in ALL things. So on Mondays, I will add to my list of 1000 gifts of all the graces God has provided in my life. Would you consider joining me? Even if you don't blog, you can join the gratitude community by starting a gratitude journal, mentionning your gifts on Facebook, or sending e-mails to your friends. Let's work together to help in creating a more thankful, joyous world!!

Five Minute Friday: When Seasons Change

I was so surprised when I pulled up The Gypsy Mama's blog today to check out the Five Minute Friday prompt, and I saw that the topic that I had suggested late last night in Lisa-Jo's Twitter shout out was used as this week's topic.

Yay! How cool!

Since I spent the day with my family watching my sister receive her Master's degree and babysitting my goddaughter, I only logged on a few minutes ago, and I TRULY only have 5 minutes since we are continuing the festivities tonight.

So here are my five minutes.....

When Seasons Change

GO.

It's funny how the seasons changing on the outside seem to speak so much to the inside...

Of WHO you are

To the core of your being.

Or is that just me?

Maybe seasons changing means more to me now that I am in my thirties or more to me after a Year of Winter, or more to me as I see my parents & grandparents age.

What I do know is that as the seasons change, I find myself savoring the moments more and more and more.

Laughter.

Connection.

Birthdays.

Lunches.

Graduations.

Weddings.

Babies.

Just savoring the MOMENTS of life together means looking for the beauty, the light, the life, the heart, the joy in every single situation.

I don't get it right EVERY time....but I am learning....

when the seasons change.....so do I!

STOP.

Don't know what 5 minute Friday is? Check it out:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.

2. Link up with Lisa-Jo @ The Gypsy Mama and invite others to join in.

3. Go buck wild with encouragement for the five minuter who linked up before you.

****Won't you join in with me? Click below!

To Quit or Not to Quit - That is the Question

After the same woman skied past me on the slopes THREE TIMES, as I lay sprawled on the hill after falling MORE times than I can count, each time inches from the previous fall, I made my decision then and there. I took off my skis put them under my right arm, poles under my left arm and walked down the hill, 3 hours after I started.

I quit.

And no amount of convincing from any of the chaperones or my friends could convince me otherwise. I spent the rest of the day in the lodge, drinking cocoa and nursing my wounded pride & disappointed soul.

Two years later, at the age of 14, I tried again, with "slightly" better agility, but the whole experience of skiing at that point was just one that NEVER ranked high on my list of fun activities. So for years, whenever I found myself at the slopes with friends, I would choose tubing over skiing or boarding ANY day.

Then I met my husband -- a snow-boarding, roller-blading, surfer-wanabe, X-games-lover guy -- and I found myself in Denver, Colorado, on Thanksgiving weekend, a 2-month-newlywed, freaking out because I was "late" and planning to go skiing the next day to be a part of something that my love....LOVED.

So I did what any self-respecting girl would do.

I cried. And I cried. And I cried.

Then I fell asleep, got up the next morning, nervously got ready, and got to the slopes.

And I cried some more.

Now I have to tell you, I HATE crying in front of people. I HATE looking weak in front of people. I HATE failing in front of people, but my fear of skiing, of falling, of making other people fall, of making a fool of myself on the slopes was so great that it outweighed all of those other emotions.

Finally, though, I couldn't take the scrutiny and/or the "I-feel-sorry-for-you looks" so I told everyone to please go on, and I would get myself together....EVENTUALLY!!

I started down some greens, or "bunny" slopes, and of course, fell repeatedly, so I persisted, and kept falling. The air is MUCH thinner in Colorado than in humid Haiti or Maryland, so I found myself, YET AGAIN, sitting in the snow preparing to just give up, when a woman slows to a stop next to me. I think to myself, "Oh, how nice that she is stopping to help me and see if I am okay." That is when she says, "I just want to let you know that you need to watch out. You are in the snowboarding lane."

Okay. Great. Thanks.

So, what could I do....? I got up and tried again.

It felt like an eternity getting down that slope, but something happened to me on the way down.

I started gaining confidence.
I stayed up longer each time between falls.
I think, dare I say it, that I even may have started having a little fun.

{I know....I know...radical, right?}

I never got very good that day but I improved little by little, slope by slope, fall by fall.

The next year, Arno and I went skiing again, and I have to tell you....I was PASSING him on the slopes. {In his defense, on skis, one can be a bit faster than on a board.}



But I learned a lot from those experiences in my life.

After quitting at 12 years old, it changed me. I remember trying a little bit each year to be braver and stronger in the face of things that were hard. In college that meant trying out for every club, meeting, activity, leadership position, etc, that I wanted to be involved in.

In my 20's, overcoming my fear of skiing meant conquering that moment where life tried to define me as a quitter.

In the past couple of years, I have had to make some decisions and choices that have made me feel like that 12 year old girl again, and I have felt a plethora of emotions facing that fear in the face again. In some situations I have fought valiantly & won, and in others, I have fought a felt the sting of loss. Some moments I have face bravely, and others I have "tried" to bow out gracefully.

What I am thankful for is an amazing Heavenly Father who does not define me by my successes and/or failures like I do to myself.

I am NOT a quitter.
I am NOT a failure.
I am NOT washed up.
I am NOT finished.

I AM....in fact....HIS, unequivocablly and irrevocabaly.

We fall down.

We get up.

And the saints are just the sinners who fall down and get up.