Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Journey of Being Found

grace for the good girl by emily p. freeman

"The best part of hiding is being found."
~Emily Freeman

Hi. My name is Lindsey
And I'm a good girl.

{Hi, Lindsey}

A little over 6 months ago, I stumbled across this blog post by Emily Freeman talking about her book to be released in September. I had "discovered" her amazing writing voice a month or two before when she discussed the art inside of us, living it, breathing it, and much more.

Well, then there was this crazy amazing post that she wrote for (in)courage, which was the first post where I ever cried, and it just rocked my world!

But when I listened to this video and how she talked about letting go of the life where you try SO HARD to get it "right" and just cannot seem to make it happen, my heart leapt with the satisfaction of FINALLY being understood. I wanted to shout at my computer screen, "You get me! You get me!"

I even wrote a post about it a couple months later, how God is taking me from being good to being graced.

But I had yet to read her grace-filled words in the book package of Grace for the Good Girl until now....and since Christina suggested we read and link up posts together from what we learn, I thought it would be a good idea to get over any "good girl" qualities left in there by being open and free to share here....with you! And while overcoming "the good girl" will probably be a life long goal, being honest with my journey is MORE than half the battle, right?

Being a good girl does not look the same for every woman. You may have grown up in the church and always done the right thing, or you might have been the rebellious teenager in youth group that made the leaders quake with fear, speculating as to what trouble you might be into next. You might have only discovered Jesus when you were a grown up and now spend your days trying SO desperately to make up for lost time by being a good girl in every way possible.

For me, being the good girl, looked like loving Jesus from the time I was a little itty bity girl. I only knew life with Jesus. I really cannot remember before that. I always wanted so desperately to please Him in every area and to be a "good" Christian girl. I think maybe that is because people applauded and patted you on the back. Words are my love language, so I lapped them up like a love-starved puppy, feeling "good" about myself and thinking that my value was found there.

Emily connects it to wearing a mask:
"Life behind a mask may feel right and may even be fun for a short time. After a while, though, recycled air become stale and the effort it takes to continue trying to be someone you aren't become a burden rather than a game. Only in returning home, taking off the mask, and being you again will you find relief."

Coming home to the Father, to my Heavenly Daddy, basking in the knowledge of His love, reminding myself of it over and over again, realizing that it was real for me no matter how I performed or looked or acted became the new processes in which my mind had to work through.

But it didn't come easy.
It still doesn't.

"I want to let go, rest, and believe, so that he can hold, refresh, and redeem. But what if I do and he doesn't? To read between the lines of faith is to see Jesus. But reading between the lines takes work and invisible trust and the disregard of feeling.

I feel fear.....even for those to whom truth has been revealed, fear can be a loud and abusive motivator.

Fear drives
But Love leads."

I was working so hard to be a good girl, to be obedient, to be humble, to be submissive that I forgot to be truly authentic. Even though I prided myself with being REAL, I was lying to myself while telling everyone else the truth for THEIR lives.

"Maybe you are hiding from your dreams because to face them would mean admitting they are there. And to admit that they are there would mean you aren't living them after all."

This journey of grace
of discovery
of being found BY HIM
of living the life HE destined
stirs in the innermost being the desire to be....

"....A true you. An authentic, accurate expression of himself. A woman who is more than just a watered-down version of good."

Question from Emily:
Do you agree that that the best part of hiding is being found? Why or why not?

Momma Day By Day


Christina Gilliland said... Best Blogger Tips

I love the words as your love language section. That is so true! It becomes an appetite that needs to be filled if we aren't careful. You totally rock! (Ha! How's that for timing! Here's some more verbal affirmation!) But in all seriousness, I consider it an honor that you have chosen to walk down this crazy ride with me. I am looking forward to getting a glimpse into your heart. 

Jennifer Camp said... Best Blogger Tips

I read most of Emily's book last month, after watching that video -- which also totally made me cry! -- and it was so powerful that there was a voice speaking, through the darkness, for the hope of His light reaching so many women.  Love your heart and vulnerability, sweet Lindsey.

Katy said... Best Blogger Tips

ah i so need to read this book!

Amy said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm not doing the linky(no time, sorry!), but I recently started reading Grace for the Good Girl and I'm enjoying reading what others have to say about it.  It's a book that's really been making me think because I can relate all too well to what the author describes in her book. Somehow reading this book manages to be uncomfortable and freeing all at the same time.

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

No worries about not being able to join up right now...only grace! ;-) I think you are right about the being uncomfortable and free at the same time. It seem like it affects so many of us that way...like she is TOTALLY writing our story and not just her own. Amazing!

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

Yes! Whenever you can...it is amazing!

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

Oh, thank you, Jennifer! It is amazing how her struggle has been manna for so many of us. It is encouraging and gives me hope for my own trying journey.  I hope that you will be able to join us and link up too. I love hearing your heart and would love to share this process with you.

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

Thanks, Christina!  And thanks for the "words"!!  ;-) 

I am looking forward to this journey God has us on together. Thanks for hosting!

Lisa Burgess said... Best Blogger Tips

I keep hearing about this book, and keeping thinking, "I need to read that!" Okay. But now I KNOW I need to read it. I may even read it alongside my 16-yr-old, who is already such a "good girl." Thanks for sharing this.

lindseyfoj said... Best Blogger Tips

Oh that would be so great! I think knowing at a young age how the "good girl" thing can trap you is SO important! I hope that it will be awesome for the both of you!

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