And I wanted in.
To slow down.
To listen better
Without all the words
because for me, I was too caught up in my own perfectionistic world
so One Word
So the Lord dropped the word REDEEMED into my heart, my spirit.
And I set off on a journey to discover what that meant for me, what He was speaking to me, and what would happen inside of me.
I realized that if I were to highlight a word for 2010 in hindsight, it would be GRACE. And as this year progressed, it seemed that the majority of the lessons were still centered around grace. In fact, you will find twice as many tags for grace in my history than redeemed. So I wondered if I had chosen the wrong word, if I had not heard Him correctly, but I pressed on determined to walk the path and complete the road of discovery He had been guiding me through.
And then last month, I was talking to a friend, sharing bits and pieces of my journey, my struggles, my fears, my pain, my ugly, and I revealed how I had finally seen God's hand and heart after several years of mistrust and hurt and how through my tears, laughter and thankfulness came.
I, then, heard myself saying,
"It's amazing how in the midst of the biggest hurt of my life. In the midst of the trials and pain, I am finding joy. And nothing has really changed, but the brokenness makes more sense now. And I realize that He is REDEEM-ing everything for His glory, for my future, for a treasure to give to the world."
And the words caught in my throat.
And I gasped in that incredible moment of realization....
He has redeemed my broken pieces.
He is using the hard.
He has plans even in my mess.
He is good even when sorrow is like my own skin.
Everything is being redeemed
by the One who knows me better than I could ever know myself.
Nothing is left spilled and wasted on the ground.
Even the chaff has purpose with Him.
My life is Redeemed.