Seeing From The Inside Out

The elevator line was so long as dozens of girls lined up with cartloads of their belongings. It was freshman move-in day, and I was one of them. My new dorm room was on the 6th floor, my mom had sprained her ankle the day before, and the moving process was going to take ALL day and night at this rate. So my dad, my sister, and I began the long arduous journey of carrying all of my personal possessions up six flights of stairs, while my momentarily handicapped mom unpacked in my room.

It took us a few days to get everything settled, and then I waited with nervous anticipation for my roommate to arrive.

What would she be like?

Would we get along?

Would we be friends?

A week passed, and then two, and after a month, I began to wonder if she would ever arrive. But she never did, and I ended up with a room to myself for a whole year.

I was kind of sad about it at first. I know. Ironic., right? Who doesn't want a room to themselves in college? But I am a people person, and I missed being with my family. But pretty quickly, I realized that having my own room was a lot of fun because my place soon became the late-nite-hang-out corner, so my little extroverted cup was filled.

The funny thing about my room was that if you did not know, you would never have been able to tell that I DID NOT have a roommate because my "stuff" filled the room. People would comment on that often, and I would feel self conscious about it.

Why did I feel the need to have so many of my personal belongings AT college with me instead of leaving many things "at home" like many of my dorm mates did?

One day, one of the girls on my floor, Roseanne, said to me, after someone else commented on how I had so much stuff in a room that was meant for two people and I was feeling unsure & insecure, "You are a missionary kid. You have had to live a life where you take everything wherever you go."

In one simple statement, she validated WHO I was, not just a judgment that others were making from outward appearances based on their own history and life views.

She saw ME.

This past Sunday, the guest pastor talked about how throughout Song of Solomon you find repetitive moments where the bridegroom calls forth things in his bride that she doesn't see in herself. He went on to talk about how we can't call forth things in others if we first don't know how God does that for us, and when you believe God's assessment of you, you actually begin to believe in yourself.

He said that it is easy to call forth what you see on the outside, the negative aspects of each other, the issues that we each have, but it is a WHOLE OTHER thing to be able to speak forth the potential in another person by seeing beyond the surface, by looking into who they are, by seeing their heart...

So today, this is what I am SURE of....

God loves you with a FIERCE, ETERNAL love.

The potential inside of YOU is greater than you can ever imagine.

You are so precious, valuable, and full of purpose in every fiber of your being,

no matter what is happening TODAY!

And as for me....I AM kind of a packrat, and I while I am working on that {for my husband's sake}, I have also realized that part of that comes from my desire to keep the people, places, and things close to me that I don't get to see every day....

And really, that is a beautiful thing, right?

*above photo was from our recent South Africa move