Waiting....

I haven't posted in about a week.

Yes. I have been busy.

I had some of my old youth group girlfriends in town and we had a little mini-reunion.

It was so great to look through pictures {some almost 20 years old...I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT!} and reminisce about all the good times we had as well as sad ones.

It is fun to be with people who have KNOWN you that long....there's nothing like it....really!

And then, our goddaughter was dedicated on Sunday, and that was so precious.
I am thankful to her parents for allowing us to hold such a special role in her life.
Her mommy, my best friend, also celebrated her own birthday on Sunday, and we had laughs & games & more stories.
I love living in community and connection with people.

But. Those occasions are not really the reasons that I haven't posted.

I mean experiencing LIFE and DOING life with people gives a writer MORE inspiration with which to work. Don't you think?

So. The real reason. The honest truth.

I have paused in my blogging because I have felt that I was in a holding pattern, and I am still not out of it, honestly. Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama posted a "preview" on Twitter Thursday night of what the 5 Minute Friday prompt for the next day would be -- waiting. Oh boy did she have MY number this week!

But I still never posted.

And...I could blame it on many things.

I could blame it on the pre-monthly hormonal rush.

I could blame it on the fact that having that monthly friend means that I am not pregnant yet again this month.

I could blame it on the fact that Friday I really felt like something on the highway that had been run over a few times and I just had NOTHING to give.

All those reasons, or even just ONE of those reasons, would probably generate understanding nods from many of you.

But I think that they oversimplify, or at the very least, overshadow, the REAL cause of my cyberspace silence.

I am in a holding pattern because I am struggling....

to pray,

to read the Word,

to hear His voice,

to know His heartbeat.

Keith Wheeler, a man who travels the world carrying a "literal" cross to share the love of Jesus with people, once said, "Ministry is the overflow of a life lived in love with Jesus."

As I write, not only do I hope the lessons I am learning minister to others, but the words given life on paper, or um, actually, on screen, often minister to me, but IF these words are not from the overflow, then where is Jesus in these strokes?

So today I write, not from a place of this great big lesson learned, OR from this amazing AHA moment, but from the raw truth of my own imperfection.

I am waiting...

And so is He....

I am SO glad that He hasn't given up on me.

AND He hasn't given up on YOU!