Real.
It has always been a word I have valued
It has always been a word I have valued
and strived to be.
In fact, after my 4 years in university, I think it was the greatest compliment that I received in those days,
"Lindsey, you are so real."
I held to that desire to be authentically me
and to take it a step farther even...
inviting you...and you...and you...to be authentically YOU!
And then life twisted and turned and the wheels tightened.
The vices gripped me beneath their grasp.
And I took on a different real.
Real Strong.
Real Tough.
Real Solid.
Real...courage....at least on the outside.
And little by little, the real woman...the real little girl on the inside slipped away into the facade of who I must be, what I was expected to do, the things that needed to be done.
I must be strong
I must have faith
I must show courage.
But what about when I am not....cannot.
When then?
What now?
I will be real scared
real brave
real open
real secure
in the One
who holds me today the same as He did the day He formed me in my mother's womb.
And I will see His hand and heart guiding me, showing, my loving me
and know......that is real.
The vices gripped me beneath their grasp.
And I took on a different real.
Real Strong.
Real Tough.
Real Solid.
Real...courage....at least on the outside.
And little by little, the real woman...the real little girl on the inside slipped away into the facade of who I must be, what I was expected to do, the things that needed to be done.
I must be strong
I must have faith
I must show courage.
But what about when I am not....cannot.
When then?
What now?
I will be real scared
real brave
real open
real secure
in the One
who holds me today the same as He did the day He formed me in my mother's womb.
And I will see His hand and heart guiding me, showing, my loving me
and know......that is real.
Joining with The Gypsy Mama as we...well...let me tell you in her words....
"Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays.
We write because we want to, not because we have to. We write for fun, for joy, for discovery.
We just write without worrying if it’s just write or not.
Won’t you join us?"
12 comments:
I can so relate! Life certainly can change us from what we dreamed of and envisioned. The only way we can survive this world and its pain is to trust in the One who made us and loves us. Loved your post! You are right, this is an amazing community and I have missed being here. Thanks for your kind comment!
I know it's hard to be brave when you're not feeling it. Keep praying for strength and doing what you ought to and God will reward you. :)
Aren't you so thankful we have that "real" friend who can hold us real securely! Enjoyed reading your words!
"...real secure in the One who holds me today the same as he did the day He formed me in my mother's womb."
Such beautiful words, forming such powerful truths.
Oh yes, Lindsey. I am so thankful for a REAL God who gathers all of me up and into His arms. Praying for you, as your journey through the hard moments. He is real, and He is really with you!
Beautiful, sweet friend.
And your genuine open-ness is so inspiring...
*hugs*
This is beautifuly open and real, and I love it. Glad I stopped by from 5 Minute Fridays.
Well said! It can be so hard to find the balance between who we *really* are and who we feel like we *must* be, but I loved your last paragraph and your list of the 'real' things that stay constant in your life. This was lovely!
You're real alright... And so blessed. My new blog is on it's way. I'm getting more organized and have learned so much so hopefully next Friday I'll be joining in on the 5 minutes of massive brain storming adventure... !
to trust in the One who made us and loves us..." --> the only way to survive...a daily struggle and a daily necessity!
I'm glad you did too, Beth! Sorry it took me so long to reply!
Thank you, Emily! Daily striving to give up, to let go, to just BE His!
Post a Comment